“Don’t worry, Bee,” he whispered the words against the shell of my ear, “I’m still the hot shot rock star who will rock your world.”
I glanced up at him and smiled.
You already do.
Levi
Things were good.
No, strike that.
Things were fucking great.
Phoebe had told me she loved me, and I felt like I was on cloud fucking nine. I hadn’t realized how much I needed to hear the words until they formed on her pouty lips.
She loved me.
Me.
It blew my fucking mind. Especially after what she went through with her ex.
Fuck, listening to her confide in me about him, it was like a knife to my stomach. He’d loved her, he’d laid with her, kissed and touched her... but he’d squandered her love. Taken it for granted. And when she’d finally had the strength to walk away, he’d fallen into the clutches of darkness.
That last part I understood. If Phoebe ever left me, I would fall apart at the seams. I knew I was walking a tightrope of control. It’s just how it was being an addict. You were only ever one drink or one hit away from a full relapse. But Phoebe filled some of the cracks inside me, and not just in a superficial, Band-Aid kind of way. No, she made me feel one step closer to being whole.
I knew I still had a long fucking way to go. I knew there would road bumps along the way. I knew I would have to continually fight the little voice in my head, trying to lure me to the dark side. But it didn’t feel insurmountable anymore.
With Phoebe in my corner, I had something to fight for. Something to anchor me.
Someone to ground me.
And she loved me.
She fucking loved me.
I hadn’t said it back because I’d been so stunned... and I didn’t want to mess it up. I didn’t want to ruin the first big milestone in our relationship.
I wanted it to be perfect.
But how did I put into words what she meant to me?
The thought hit me out of left field. I needed to tell her the same way I expressed all my thoughts and feelings, through music.
“You have that look,” Rafe said as we sat around in the dressing room, waiting to go on.
We’d spent a grueling day in back-to-back interviews. After the shitshow in Portland, Alistair had given us the next few nights off. No extra shows or meet and greets. Part of me wondered if it was to contain the rumors slowly picking up pace about Hudson and Phoebe. There had been nothing in the mainstream press yet, but online sources had begun to run with it.
I was trying to not let it get to me.
Phoebe loved me.
Me.
It didn’t matter what anyone else said.
“What look?” I answered my brother.
“The look that says you’re up to something.”
“No, I don’t.”
His brow quirked up. “Levi, I know you better than anyone.”
“What’s up?” Damon came out of the bathroom, still styling his hair.
“Levi has that look.”
“Guys,” Eva said. “Leave him alone.”
“Always got my back, Angel.” I flashed her a wolfish grin.
“Always.”
Hudson sauntered into the room.
“Where the fuck have you been?”
His cheeks were flushed, and his clothes were disheveled. “I... uh...”
“Let me guess, the cute brunette with the nose piercing?” I said.
“How’d you—” He gulped, his eyes flashing to Eva.
“Don’t look at me.” She shrugged. “I’m done being in between this weird contest you have going on with Molly.”
“Contest?” That piqued my interest. “What contest?”
“There is no contest,” he grumbled.
Eva scoffed at that. “Could have fooled me. So you’re not making out with total strangers to get back at her for dating Carson?”
“Nope.” Hud dropped on the couch with a shrug. “She can date whoever she wants.”
“Hmm, Angel, I hate to break it to you, but I think they were doing a little more than making out.”
He growled in my direction, flipping me off.
“Sometimes I wonder how this is my life.” Eva groaned, and we all chuckled.
It was hard to imagine life without her now. She brought balance to the group. Perspective.
She filled a void we didn’t even realize needed filling.
“I can’t believe we only have five shows left until Europe.”
We were doing shows in four smaller cities, before ending the domestic leg of the tour in Atlanta. There was a big after-party lined up. Then we had a month to recoup before setting off for the European leg.
“I heard European girls are—”
“Hudson!” Everyone yelled.
Letty slipped into the room with Phoebe in tow. I sat up, my eyes findings hers. She came toward me and I drank her in. Skinny jeans, baggy tank top layered over another tank. Smoky eyes and a slick ponytail. My girl looked hot.
As soon as she was close, I snagged her wrist and pulled her down on my lap. Her soft laughter was like music to my fucking ears as she wound her arm around my neck.
“Hi,” I breathed against her lips, the rest of the room already forgotten.
“Hi.” Phoebe smiled, lust and love glittering in her eyes, taunting me. Because I couldn’t do anything about it, not yet. Not when we had a show to do imminently.
“I missed you.” I stole a kiss, trying to resist the urge to plunge my tongue deep into her mouth.
“I was only gone an hour.”
“An hour too long,” I mumbled, unable to resist diving back in for another kiss. Phoebe curled a fist into my t-shirt, letting her mouth slide against mine.
Someone cleared their throat. “Okay, lovers.” It was Hudson. Annoying fucker. “Let’s not forgot where we are.”
“Uh... sorry.” Phoebe was flushed and I fucking loved that I was the one to put it there.
The door opened again, and Alistair stepped inside. Phoebe tensed, trying to wiggle off my lap but I locked my arms around her.
His eyes went straight to us, a deep frown crinkling his brows. I held his stare, daring him to say anything. It was a dick move. Alistair was our manager. He had our best interests at heart, I knew that. But Phoebe was non-negotiable as far as I was concerned.
I didn’t just want her, I needed her. The sooner he realized that, the better this would go for everyone.
He cleared his throat, and finally glanced away. “All set?”
“We’re good, Ali, boy. You don’t gotta worry.”
“We’re on the homestretch now,” he said, flicking his concerned gaze to mine again. “We only have to get through another five shows. Nine more days and then you can have some much-deserved downtime.”
“Fuck yeah.” Hudson fist pumped the air.
“Before you go out there, I have some news. I just got the official word Drown has hit number one on the Billboard Hot 100 Chart.”
“W- what?” Eva gasped. “But... that can’t be...” She clutched her throat, all the blood drained from her face.
“You’re number one, Eva. Congratulations.”
“Lap it up, Angel.” I winked at her. “It’s only a taste of things to come.”