“I just don’t understand…” I heard my voice crack. Garbled and hoarse, it didn’t even sound like me. “I just saw her, we just had dinner…Dave, it was just a few hours ago!” I lamented, my throat scratching like sandpaper.
“I know, Matt. I tried to contact you as soon as she passed out, but I had to call the ambulance first and I…I had to be there for her. I’m so sorry.” He wiped a lone tear from the corner of his eye and I saw his hand shake. Even though we had never been close, I knew he loved her. They had shared a life together and he had made her happy. A life that all of a sudden became very clear to me that I had missed quite a lot of.
“Dave…you said at dinner that she’d been ill and it wasn’t much longer…” I questioned.
He ran a weathered hand across his face and through his beard. “Yeah, but believe me when I tell you that I had no idea it would only be a few more hours. The doctor had told us she had months, maybe even a year left!” He cried, before dissolving into uncontrollable sobbing. I wrapped my arms around him and drew him in to me. It was an odd thing to share between us and I’m sure it felt as awkward for him as it did for me. Dave pulled back after a minute, dried his eyes, and patted me on the shoulder, silently nodding.
Several silent minutes ticked by before either of us spoke. “She’d been having headaches, and asked her doctor about it. But you know her, by the time I convinced her to go the doctor, it had been going for quite a while.” Dave drew in another deep breath before continuing. “Anyway, after he sent her for a ton of tests, we found out that she had a weak heart. Heart disease was in her family, your grandfather…” He motioned to me as he referenced my mother’s father.
I nodded. “Yeah, but that was when I was a kid. I don’t know too much, though. The only contact I ever had was what we spent with him here in Maple Cove.”
“Right, so turns out heart disease was rampant in the family. Your mom knew this for a long time actually, which was part of the reason why she didn’t tell me that she wasn’t feeling well at first. Anyway, the doctor put her on a bunch of medications, but he said that in her state, heart failure was imminent and there really wasn’t much that could be done. I even asked about transplant options, but he said that it wouldn’t help her. In fact, something like that would probably kill her faster. So, we were advised to just head home and enjoy life quietly.”
I couldn’t believe this. All of a sudden anger spilled over, momentarily drowning my grief. “How long did they give her?” I growled out.
“That’s the crazy part. They said anywhere from six months to a year.” Dave answered, his face void of any feeling.
“And how many weeks ago was this?” I asked, almost afraid of the answer.
“Three weeks.”
“Three weeks? FUCK! That was exactly when she had called me and insisted that I come down for Thanksgiving. I had been drowning in work and she had been so insistent, wanting to chat and make plans. Kept asking about my love life and if I’d found anyone. Talking about how important it was…” I trailed off, once again my emotions tossing back and forth between rage and despair.
Pacing the small room like a caged animal, I clenched and released my fists continuously. How could this have happened? I didn’t see the signs. Not even once.
My last conversation with Mom stayed on replay in my head. The one when I had told her what she wanted to hear so she would get off my back about settling down once and for all.
“She was so happy after that call, Matt. You have no idea how much comfort it brought her, and to myself as well, to hear that you were engaged. We were just so excited for this weekend.” His words were garbled and messy and the tears came again.
Loud, ugly man cries.
I sat there frozen, a lump in my throat and stabbing pain in my heart and gut.
What an asshole I had been.
Chapter 21
CARLY
Thankfully, my car was ready and waiting for me as soon as I got to Joe’s. I couldn’t wait to get out of there and get on the road.
“Thanks so much, Joe. I know it wasn’t easy to get it all done so fast. Especially with Thanksgiving and all.” I smiled at him sincerely.
“Well, it’s not me you need to thank, young lady, it’s that fiancée of yours. Without him sending me the parts from the city, your car would have been here a week or more.” Joe cheerfully explained.
“Oh uh…yeah, of course, okay.” I mumbled, unsure of what to say, let alone think. Matt was confusing as heck. Spending time with him was like being the ball in a Wimbledon tennis match.
“And it’s pre-paid, so you’re free to go!” Joe smiled again. “Actually, I was going to deliver your car to the Inn, but since you’re here now, I’ll get to go home early.”
I managed to squeeze out a tense smile before nodding my head and throwing my bags in the trunk. All thoughts of Matt, Chad, Christy, or anyone else needed to be squashed. Somehow, I had let Maple Cove get the best of me in too many ways to count. I just needed to go home, back to my life, art, my friends, and my little slice of my New York.
Plugging my phone in and placing it in the cupholder felt like determination. Tuning into my playlist, I felt confidence. And finally, closing the window and waving to Joe as he called out directions, felt like independence. This was it. I was gone. Headed to freedom. Oddly, it didn’t feel different than the first time I had driven my little Betsy down this road. Funnily enough, it had been the same time of year then, too. There was something about the fall that signaled new beginnings to me. Maybe not in the easiest of ways, but still…the air crisp with possibility, the colours more vibrant than a summer’s day. The smell of coffee from my cup seeping into my pores. Perfection, and it was all mine.
The drive was two hours towards the city, then a turn off, and another two hours towards the American border. Once I had crossed, I was looking at a solid six hours till the city that never sleeps. It was a long drive, but I was jittery with excitement.
I had a showing at a hip little boho gallery next week and I still had some final touches that I needed to add to some pieces. That would be the first thing I’d do when I got home. Providing my landlord didn’t notice me. He lived on the ground floor and often rode the elevators when he was looking for me. Whatever. I’d figure it out when I got there.
Half an hour into my drive and I was already planning what I would do as soon as I got into New York. My plans would include picking up a sandwich and some toilet paper at the little bodega on the corner. Maybe a bottle of cheap wine, too, depending on the time when I got into the city. Sadly, picking up Lulu would have to wait until morning. But it would definitely happen before Bryanna left for work. Bry always cat-sat Lulu for me when I traveled. She’d done the same when I went to New Zealand and I had been so grateful then, too. Bry was the only person I could leave Lulu with and not worry. She loved her like her own.