Hospitals sure moved quickly.
“Dave, do you need me right now?” I asked. “If not, I’m going to head home and shower and change, okay?”
“Of course, Matt. Go home and we’ll meet up at the farm. I’m headed back there shortly.” Dave answered, straightening himself up a bit.
I nodded. “Okay, thanks.” But as I turned to leave the room, Dave’s voice called me back. “Hey, Matt, where’s uhh…Carly?”
Pausing in my tracks, I silently apologized to Mom for all the lies. “She’s meeting me at home.”
Thankfully, Dave was distracted enough by his grief to not even notice the holes in my story. Which was good because honestly, I wasn’t in any shape to be consistent. Everything about this hurt like hell and I just needed some space. I had to get out. The smell of antiseptic was overwhelming my senses and burning holes in my brain.
“Carly and I will head to the farm in a couple of hours, okay? You sure you don’t want to come to my place after and we can all go together?”
“No, I need to be alone for a bit. I’ll see you tonight at the house.”
There was nothing else to do. “Okay, Dave.”
I nodded silently.
Home would do me some good. All the driving back and forth between Maple Cove and the city was a killer. Besides, home was where Carly was headed. Carly. I was selfish to have asked her to come back. I knew that. But it couldn’t be helped. I needed her right now. For once, Dave and I were on the same page and I wanted to keep it that way. Keep things civil between us and keep the focus on Mom. That’s what needed to be done. The last thing I needed was arguing or bad feelings between Dave and I. A little voice inside my head whispered differently, but I chose to ignore it. My guilt was already overpowering me.
Leaving Dave in the company of the nurse, I headed back to my car, texting the update to Carly. I wasn’t sure how far away she was when we had spoken, but hopefully I’d have time to shower and change before she arrived. My weekend bag was still back at the Inn where I had left it when I ran out last night. Hopefully, Mrs. West hadn’t thrown it all out. Granted, it was probably only a few hours since Carly had left the Inn herself.
Between thinking about my mom and how I had left Carly alone, the drive home seemed to happen in the blink of an eye. I must have zoned out because one minute I was leaving the hospital parking lot and the next, I found myself pulling up to my own underground garage. I hadn’t even noticed the six-lane highway that I had obviously taken in order to get home. Catching sight of myself as I backed the car into my usual spot, I did a double take. Bags under my eyes, stubble dotting my face, and one lone tear that had somehow escaped without me even realizing it and had made its way halfway down my cheek.
The pain felt like it was tearing my soul in two. The guilt, the shame, the overwhelming responsibility that I hadn’t lived up to. I didn’t deserve a mother like Sue Harris. I probably didn’t deserve Carly, either.
Chapter 23
CARLY
Without hesitation, I got back on the road and redirected my GPS. For a small town in the middle of nowhere, Canada, it was starting to get really unpredictable around here.
Yet when it came to Matt, I had to admit that I kind of liked the unpredictability of it all. The idea that he called to tell me about his mom and asked me to come back…well, it made me feel all warm inside. What was wrong with me? Maybe it shouldn’t after last night, but still…was it too hopeful of me to think that his reasons were only practical ones?
I had two hours to think about it. In two hours, I’d be at his apartment. He said they were finishing up at the hospital and would need a few days to plan the funeral. I didn’t mind staying a few days. Maybe this was karma coming around to bite me in the ass for not attending my own dad’s funeral. And I’m sure Christy would have something to say about it.
Whatever. It was high time I stopped concerning myself with what I thought Christy might say. Those days were over; it was what it was. Sue’s funeral would be in Maple Cove and that would mean that everyone and their grandmothers would attend. Including my family.
“We are a community that stands together in good times and in bad.” As the mayor of Maple Cove had said for years. “Just like pancakes and good ol’ Canadian maple syrup that we harvest.” Ugh. Sickly sweet.
Whatever. I was doing this for Matt. It suddenly dawned on me that I cared more about him than my siblings and the stupid inheritance. I pondered all the possible meanings of that doozy.
***
When I arrived at the address Matt had given me, I pulled over to double check it.
2 Arrow Road. Suite 2020.
I looked up through the windshield and did a double take. Where the hell was I? This was a mega building with gold archways for doors and a doorman that looked like he just stepped out of a 1950’s movie set. This couldn’t be his place…could it?
I texted Matt quickly to confirm the address.
Carly: 2 Arrow Road. Suite 2020, right?
Matt: Yep come on up. Aaron will let you in.
Carly: um…who’s Aaron?
Matt: The doorman.
I didn’t answer. This shit was for real. I didn’t know why it hadn’t occurred to me that Matt might be well off. He was a big city lawyer with many high-profile cases that often made the news. But it hadn’t, not in the least. And did it even matter? I suppose it did, because all of a sudden, I felt intimidated. Suddenly, I understood why paying for my car and everything else was no big deal to him.
I wondered what he really thought of me. A flaky artist from a dysfunctional family who drove a car that should have gone to the scrap heap years ago? Maybe. Then again, he did call me and ask me to come back, so…
Yeah, my brain didn’t let me hang on to that thought for too long.
I found a spot to park around the side of the building and grabbed my purse. I’d come back later to get my bags. I could feel nerves starting to fill up my stomach as I walked towards the main entrance.
Less than twenty-four hours ago, Matt had me naked on all fours and begging to be spanked. And now here I was, walking up to his fancy apartment to stand by him as his fiancée and help him navigate the next few days leading up to his mom’s funeral. No, this wasn’t awkward at all. I rolled my eyes as my boots clicked against the pavement. Just breathe, Carly. Just breathe. I was here for a reason. He clearly needed a friend right now and I could do that. I was good at that.
“Miss Roberts?” The doorman called out as I approached.
“Um yes, yes, that’s me. Are you Aaron?” I answered nervously, already fidgeting with a strand of hair around my neck.
“Please go right on up. Mr. Harris is waiting for you.” He nodded and a set of perfectly white teeth grinned back at me as he opened the door and motioned for me to enter.