As I made my way down the marble hallway and then into the mirrored elevator, I noticed that my reflection was calmer than I felt. Maybe that was a good thing? I could only hope. Finally, after an ear popping ride up, the doors opened into an immense hallway. I followed the signs until I had reached the last door at the end of the hallway: suite 2020.
Reaching my hand up to knock, it opened before I had the chance.
“Oh, Matt!” I heard my own voice cry out. All of a sudden, all the thinking and worrying I had been doing flew out of my head as emotion spilled out of me at the sight of him. He looked like a completely different person to the one I just spent the weekend with. I wrapped my arms around him, immediately burying my face in his neck. In that brief moment, I did more than just see his pain, I could feel it. Bags under his eyes, stubble dotting his face, and still wearing the clothes from the night before, he just stood there, lost in his own grief. Guilt and sadness surrounded him.
We held on to one another without speaking, his arms wrapping tightly around my waist, pulling me flat to his body. In that moment, everything felt different. This wasn’t about friendship or old flames. This suddenly became about so much more. Some strange cosmic twist of fate had brought us together when we each needed it most.
“Thank you.” He whispered. “For coming…” His words were heavy and the air filled with things unsaid. But for once, I didn’t need anything more. I was right where I needed to be.
“Wasn’t even a question.” I answered, looking up into his pain filled eyes.
We allowed our bodies to slip away from the embrace, a small knowing smile lingering between us as our fingers remained clasped together.
“Why don’t you make yourself at home. Give me thirty minutes and I’ll be ready to go.” Matt said as he stepped back, finally breaking our touch.
Flustered by it all, my voice came out horse and unsteady. “Of course.” I answered, coughing my way through my words in an attempt to conceal it. “But what’s the plan? You didn’t mention where we were going.”
“Back to Maple Cove.” He paused, gauging my reaction. “I didn’t realize that Dave would want to head back immediately when I first asked you to come. If I had, I would have just asked you to meet me there.”
I swallowed down all the questions bubbling up in my mind. “Of course, no worries at all. So, it’s back to the farm?”
He nodded. “My dad needs a couple of days to make arrangements, which I will help him with, and then after the funeral we can leave.”
There was nothing to do but smile. “Of course. Whatever you need, Matt.” I reassured him.
“Mom didn’t have very many people she was close to, so…well, you know how the town is…I’m sure they’ll all be there.”
He was referring to my family and he was right. “No stress. I can deal with anything.” I answered brightly as I swallowed down a lump.
“Okay…” He leaned over and placed a kiss on my forehead. Sweet and perfect. Things were changing rapidly and my head and my brain were struggling to keep up.
“Maybe I’ll grab a little cat nap before we head out?” I mentioned more to myself then to him as he turned to walk away. I sat on the couch and let myself be sucked in by the soft cushions.
“I’m serious, make yourself at home, Carly. Whatever you need.”
I watched as Matt made his way down a long hallway. A feeling of uneasiness came over me; being in his apartment was surreal. Maybe I should never have said yes. Maybe I shouldn’t have even picked up the phone. Maybe I was heading down a path that would leave me even more messed up than I already was. But despite all those maybes floating around in my head, there was one thing that I knew for sure. It was already too late.
Chapter 24
MATT
I took a quick shower and packed a back-up bag in record time. There was always a chance that my things at the Inn would have mysteriously disappeared. I could just imagine another four hour drive back to the Cove, only to be caught without anything.
It was hard to focus while Carly was in my apartment, napping on my living room couch. This entire weekend made me feel like I had somehow entered an alternate universe. My brain was in a fog, caught somewhere in the disbelief that mother was gone and the soothing comfort of Carly’s presence. I would have to make this up to her eventually. Question was, how?
Watching her sleep on my couch was uncanny. I found myself staring as she gently breathed in and out, reminding me of that first night at the Inn. Except now, there weren’t endless hours ahead of me. I needed to get back to Dave and help him make arrangements for the funeral and whatever would happen next. Dave had never been a take charge kind of man. When it came to getting things done, that had been my mom’s forte. And without her in his life, I wasn’t sure what he would do. The farm needed constant attention, between the gardens, the small field, and the animals, and he wouldn’t be able to do it all on his own.
Tapping her shoulder gently, I attempted to wake her. “Carly? Carly, wake up, we need to go.” Carly stirred but didn’t open her eyes right away. She was definitely exhausted and I could understand why. Late night, lots of driving, and a weekend of stress. This had clearly been an unexpected weekend for her, too. I wondered if she regretted coming home for Thanksgiving. Despite it all, I held out hope that there had been at least one bright spot for her.
Carly’s eyes fluttered and she looked up at me as she stretched. “Sorry! I…I was just resting my eyes. I’m coming.”
I smiled. “No worries, you can catch some more sleep in the car. I’m driving.”
“What about my car? Shouldn’t I take it with me? That way I don’t have to come back to the city after…” She questioned.
“We’ll be more comfortable in mine. Besides, I had Aaron move your car already. It’s safely inside my garage.”
“Oh …uh…thanks.” Carly seemed a little flustered.
“I also took the liberty of moving your overnight bag to my car.” I paused.
She just stared. “Okay then.”
Her face didn’t even flinch. It left me wondering what her thoughts were and if I had crossed a line. Although I was only trying to be proactive, I got a bad feeling that I might have overstepped.
***
Road trips were made for overcoming challenges. It’s as if anytime you had to reach into the vault of emotions and share it with another person, or bring up a difficult conversation, it was easier in the car. As a kid, the long car rides as we moved between towns were when I learned tidbits of information about my dad or other parts of my mom’s life. Her family, the places she’d been, and her views on the world. Now I found myself sitting next to the woman that had haunted my thoughts for years and wanting to reach down into parts of myself that hadn’t seen the light of day in years. It was both unsettling and strangely familiar. And I had so much I suddenly wanted to say.