“I haven’t celebrated a New Year in a long time.” Oliver says as he comes to stand behind me.
“This year I will be kissing the three best things to ever happen to me.” I grin at him from over my shoulder.
“This year I will have something worth celebrating for.” His reply melts my heart.
“This year I propose we go out with a bang… literally.” Cooper cuts in. “All fucking four of us. You think you could handle that, Sha?”
I let the words hit me and wait for the telltale rush of an anxiety attack. Instead, I find my panties a little moist.
I don’t know what’s happening with me. I’m happy to be back in Kailey’s orbit-that’s what it feels like-but with it comes a lot of confusion. She’s dating two of my boys and a guidance counselor, but here I am thinking of what her kisses might taste like.
I think it’s because of all the time we’re spending together and I feel propelled back in time to when she was all I saw. Back when we were kids, Kailey was more than just my best friend and she dominated all my thoughts. Even after the last few hours with Faith, I’m leaving her house with Kailey still on my mind.
“That pussy becoming routine now?” Brody’s dark voice hits me from the shadows of Faith’s house.
“I told you to keep a low profile.” I snarl at him. “Did anyone see you?”
“No.” He shrugs and grins, fucking psycho. “I paid a visit to our boys. They are too wrapped up in a chick’s pussy to get any work done.”
“You were in her house again? Bro, that’s not keeping a low profile.” I tip my head back.
“Speaking of, I need you to say you ate apples.”
“I ate apples?” I look at him like he’s lost it. Actually, I know he has. “Tell me you’re taking your meds.”
“I ate a few apples at Kails’. Just say it was you.” He shrugs.
“Fuck.” I growl. “You need to come back now, we have a lot of shit to get done.”
“I’ve already fucked my father over. His clients are done and no one trusts him now. I’ve derailed every shipment.”
“I know.” I scrub my hand down my face. “But the rest of us need you.”
“I’ve referred a new member to Caine and helped him win a new contract his father was scouting, I’ve sent Cooper a lead on a company looking for a bid better than his father’s, and I handed you a firm to work with on a silver platter, all while I’ve been ‘gone’.” He does air quotes for gone.
"The guys don't know that it came from you. To them, you're out doing whatever while we scramble to work our shit out." He looks at me like he couldn't care less and I guess that's probably true. "How much longer?"
“I’m almost done. Give me three weeks, tops.”
“That’s all of the holiday break.” I say exasperated.
“Oui, I’ll be back in time for the final semester.” He grins at me again.
“Take your meds.” I tell him and walk towards my motorcycle.
“Don’t get sucked in by her pussy.” He calls out to me. “She’s already got three others in there.”
“Fuck me.” I mutter and get on my bike.
Brody has been in a steady downfall since the beginning of high school. His household is one filled with hatred and contention, his relationship with Georgina is filled with infidelity and distrust, and his head is filled with rage and instability.
I’ve tried to help him over the years but I can’t seem to penetrate his walls. He’s locked up tight like Fort Knox and I know it all started four years ago during that fucked up summer. Actually no, it started before that because Brody Landry’s house has always been fucked up but the summer Kailey left us really changed him.
Between the four of us, I am the closest to Brody. I think he sees similarities in me that he can’t find in the others. My family is fucked up and pretty much absent and I’ve been on antidepressants since freshman year. The difference between us? I take my meds and I want to get better. Brody likes the duality in his mind and really believes he’s okay.
He was diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder sophomore year and has been seeing a therapist once a week. At least he was up until the beginning of this school year, then everything changed... again. Kailey was back in his sights-not that she ever left-and his focus changed. We had plans to run our fathers' companies to the ground and now he's off feeding his other side.
His other side or the Monster in his head as he calls it, is dangerous and destructive. When Brody was first diagnosed, all four of us went to a few of his therapy sessions so we could be more informed about his condition. We were told there would be bouts of amnesia as he would flip between personalities, his temperament would be volatile, and his mannerisms would be unpredictable.
Most of those things were true, he did have extreme mood swings and he would sometimes change in the way that he spoke, but I never witnessed a change in his personality until the night his brother was killed. The man I witnessed entering that room holding Georgina, wasn't Brody. He looked the same physically but it was the look in his eyes that was unfamiliar.
I'll never forget that night or the role I played in it afterward. There's nothing I wouldn't do for my brothers and that sentiment is even stronger for Brody, he's never really had anyone but us three in his corner. He had Kailey too at one point but like so many others, she left.
When she first turned her backs on us, I was angry and full of hatred. I wanted to make her life hell and I wanted to watch her suffer. The effect her leaving had on each of us was profound. So when Brody began to set in motion her ostracism, I was one hundred percent on board.
Knowing what I know now though, I wish we had looked into it more. We knew Kailey from preschool, we really should've known that something happened to her and it should've been us to protect her. We failed her and I can only be grateful to Caine and Cooper for killing the pieces of shit that defiled her. I only wish I could bring them back and do it over again but this time, with my own hands.
I’m on my way home when my phone’s vibration hits my thigh. I pull over and reach into my pocket. I see Cooper’s name across the screen and put him on speaker.
“Everything okay?” I ask quickly. My heart races at the thought of something happening to Kailey.
“Can you come by Kailey’s tonight? We need to talk about some things.”
“I can head over now.” I say and hang up.
A few minutes later and I’m pulling into Kailey’s driveway. I see Caine outside smoking a joint and I immediately go to him. He holds out the joint and I take a hit.
“We need Brody back, man.” Caine says as I hand him back the joint.
“I know.”
“Look,” he pauses to take a hit and pass it back. “They’re going to question you inside about where he is. I’m not going to question you because you’re just going to tell me. I know you know where he is, I know how tight you two are.”