“You say that now.”
“Are you afraid I’m going to think otherwise later?”
Jacob looks away and when he turns back, that crooked grin is there, masking whatever he’s really feeling. “Maybe. Do you change your mind often?”
I want to call him out, tell him that I’m not blind, and remind him that he’s dating a shrink who knows all the tricks and signs of deflection. In the back of my head, I hear Luke, and I remember how much he hated it.
So many times, we’d be fighting, and I would turn it into therapy. He would yell louder, get angrier than he was before and tell me how tiring it was being married to someone who couldn’t let him work it out for himself. I always had to fix things—fix him—and he hated it.
I don’t want to do that with Jacob. He’s not my patient. He’s my boyfriend. One I’d like very much to continue seeing. Therefore it’s in my best interests to just be honest.
“No, I don’t change my mind. That’s what I’m saying to you. I’m here. I’m in this with you, and I’m ready for whatever obstacles we have to face. As long as you’re in it with me, I’m here.”
The words do what I hoped they would, and the playful smile that was there falls into a look of seriousness. The tight lines around his eyes sharpen. “And if it gets to be too much?”
I lean in, my fingers tracing those lines until they soften. “Then we talk, and we work it out. This isn’t something I’m willing to give up on. You’re not someone I’m willing to give up on.”
“Why?”
Because I’m in love with you.
“Because you make me happy.”
His eyes close, and he grips my hand, holding it to his face. “I’m going to be a handful.”
“I never had any doubts that you would be.”
“My career is demanding. I fought against this because of that. You dealt with a lot because Luke was away all the time for work, and now you’re jumping back in again.”
“It’s different this time. Luke never had a choice. You can turn roles down, can’t you?”
He nods. “As long as I’m not under contract. Like I said, I don’t want to put you through the hell you endured before. You came here wanting simple, and I’m far from that. I don’t want to disappoint you or the kids, Brenna. I want to be the hero in your story.”
“Just you saying that makes you one.” A part of me knew his career would be difficult to handle. When I left California, I wanted to find a guy from a small town who wouldn’t be darting off all the time. I thought that, if I found normal, I could finally settle down and be happy. “You know, Cybil asked me if I really would be happy with someone mundane or simple. The thing is, I don’t think I would. I would be bored, and you, Jacob Arrowood, are not boring. You’re a good man with a big heart and you make me happy. I’ve dealt with separations before, and we’ll find a way through it when it comes to that. If anything, I think this shows how good we can be.”
“You do?” he asks dubiously.
“Of course. I like having space a bit here and there.”
He comes in close and gives me a kiss. “You’re really perfect, you know?”
“Now you’re delusional.”
“Maybe so, but I’m very happy in this fantasy—with you.”
I smile and move in. “Me too.”
“Good.”
“Now, let’s make out on the couch before I have to sneak you out of here.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Jacob
“Hey, Declan, what brings you here?” I ask as I step out of this tiny house that still smells like apples from Brenna’s hair products.
Tonight, we have a big date. I’ve gone all out. I want to make her feel special, and it’s taken a lot of ingenuity to come up with something when I can’t really go anywhere. Those plans require me to get my ass on the road.
“I just wanted to talk to you.”
“About?” I ask as I walk toward the car.
“Where are you going?”
“To the moon. Now, seriously, what’s up?”
Declan rubs the back of his neck. “I just came by to look at the tiny house. My lease is up on this bad boy a few days after your time is up, and I have to send the owner pictures so he can see what work it needs.”
My chest tightens, and I stare at him, not saying anything. The idea of leaving here in a few months suddenly makes me nauseated. I don’t want to leave, and I’m not expecting to move in with Brenna. I need a place, so I might as well keep this damn thing.
“I’ll buy it.”
His head jerks back. “And do what with it?”
“Own it.”
“Yeah, I get that,” Declan says with a huff. “I’m asking why the hell you want it? You leave soon and absolutely hate it.”
“And now I like it.”
That’s overstating it a bit, but it has very small perks. Like that sneaking a very sexy redhead in and out undetected is much easier than my sneaking in her window. And the fact that when she’s lying in my arms and we look out the floor-to-ceiling windows on the side, it reminds me of our date at the movies—before the torrential downpour.
Declan scratches the back of his head. “Okay, then. I’m not going to ask because I’m sure it has to do with Brenna.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because you have that goofy grin on your face.”
“What goofy grin?”
He points. “That one. You’re all smiles, and you get that stupid look like you’ve been hit by Cupid’s arrow or maybe it’s another arrow who shot her with something else.”
I roll my eyes. “Watch it, Dec.”
“You’re serious about her, aren’t you?”
Older brothers are good for very little besides annoying the fuck out of you. My brother is exceptional at that. “What do you think? I just offered to buy this shack on wheels.”
Of course, I am serious. Hell, I think I’m in love with her, for fuck’s sake.
He smiles. “I’m happy for you. I know the girls are all over the moon about it. They love Brenna and would welcome her into the family.”
The visions of us living in her house and being domestic fill me and then evaporate like mist. I can’t let myself go that far ahead. We still have a lot of shit to deal with. Our photo shoot is coming up, and we need to prepare for our happy little world to become chaos. I have to pace myself or we’ll both end up crushed.
“Well, as happy as I am that the three of them are on board, we’re not taking things that quickly.”
“I understand. You’re scared.”
I let out a long sigh. “I’m not scared, Declan. I’m being smart. I’m not going to rush into something that has the potential to hurt her and the kids. Once this story is out next week, we won’t be able to live in the bubble that is Sugarloaf. There will be press, photos, stories that aren’t true about me and God only knows who else I’m filming with. There’s more to think about than my own shit.”