“Me?” I question.
“Jacob’s saying is: removing half the feather will create the curve.” My chest feels heavy as I listen to him continue. “For a long time, we thought it was because he followed one path. He thought mapping out his life would give him all the answers. Little did he know that, at the age of seven, he knew nothing about life and how plans work. Honestly, my mother was brilliant because she never really explained it to any of us. She sort of said it and gave us some crap about how it applied to whatever situation she wanted it to, but it wasn’t until the last two years that I realized each was about our fatal flaws.”
I look over at the gravestone of the woman who knew her children so well she imparted wisdom that would carry them into their adult lives. What a special person she must’ve been.
“If his isn’t what you guys thought it was, then what is it?”
Declan sighs. “He doubts that he’s worthy of love, which hasn’t allowed him to take chances on love. By removing that doubt that he could get the life he wanted, even if he couldn’t protect everyone around him, he was able to give himself a chance with you.”
Oh, Jacob. Tears fall again, and I look away, knowing I’ll break if I try to speak. He is so worthy of love. He’s worthy of everything good in this world, and if he comes back to me, I’ll prove it.
I’ll give him everything, and I’ll fix this mess that I made. These last few hours have reminded me what it’s like to really lose someone. The pain that doesn’t go away. The fear of a tomorrow in a world that is devoid of that person who makes you whole.
After a few moments, Declan speaks again. “He’ll come back, Brenna.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I have to believe it. Jacob is a fighter, and he’ll fight to come back to you. You’re the path. Sydney is right, you’re the woman my brother will live to see again.”
I shake my head. “We fought before he left.”
His hand rests on my shoulder. “I know what it feels like to think you’re going to lose someone you love. I had let Sydney down right before I almost lost her, and I was beside myself, but people assured me that she knew how I felt. And I loved her more than anything.”
“How would you have survived losing her if she’d died?”
Declan’s eyes cast over, and he looks away. “I don’t know, but I truly believe that Jacob will be okay. We have a bond, the four of us, and we’d know. I have to believe that one of us would be sure he was dead, and none of us are. He’s alive.”
I want to believe that’s true, but I know better than anyone that hope can only carry you so far. I start to cry harder, overwhelmed with the pain of not having him here when I need him. Declan pulls me to him, and I soak his shirt.
I’m not sure how much longer I can keep this up. I’m falling apart.
I start to pray.
Please, don’t take him. Please don’t let this graveyard hold another Arrowood who should still be on this earth. I’m begging you, God, Luke, Mrs. Arrowood, please let Jacob come back to us. I love him. I need him. I can’t survive losing him.
Declan rubs my back and then he tenses.
“Hello?”
I sit up, seeing a lantern in the darkness moving toward us. “Declan! Brenna!” Sean yells. “They found the plane!”
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Jacob
“Just a little bit more, Jessica. Help is coming.” I hoist her into my arms a little higher. We have been walking for hours and just spotted two helicopters circling overhead. So, now, we’re walking faster to try to meet them. The pilot thinks they are circling there because it’s a clear enough space to land.
Her head rolls to the side, and she’s paler than before.
“How is she doing?” Elliot asks. He carried her the last hour, and the co-pilot, Jose, is too injured to do it. The two of us swap off, trying to give each other some time to regain whatever strength we can.
“She’s okay, right, Jessica?” I ask.
Her eyes open, and she nods. “I’ll be fine.”
When her lids go down, Elliot starts to talk. “Jess, we need you to keep talking, okay?”
Her injuries aren’t too bad, but she suffered a head wound that has us all worried. At first, she was walking fine, but that went downhill fast. We’ve been doing everything we can to keep her conscious.
“Talk about what? Do you know I miss Grayson? I loved Grayson, but I was stupid.”
“Why were you stupid?”
She sighs. “Because I wanted to see the world, and I gave him up. Like stupid girls from small towns do. Oh, and now I’m with the hottest guy in the world and he smells like oak and whiskey.”
I laugh. “There’s that.”
“Tell me about Brenna,” she says as she moves her head to rest on my chest. “She isn’t stupid. She probably loves you and would stay.”
“She’s beautiful,” I say with a restless sound. “She has these two kids who I love, and . . . well, I love her. We had a fight, but if we live through this, I swear to God, I’ll never piss her off again. I should’ve called her.”
“You mean you didn’t forgive each other yet?”
“No.”
Jose chuckles. “Stupid man, you never fly angry.”
“That’s a new one.”
“It’s like going to bed pissed. You just don’t do it.”
“You’d think she’d know that since her husband was a pilot.”
All three groan. “Big mistake, Jacob,” Jessica says.
Jessica’s eyes flutter and I shift her, causing her eyes to open again.
“He died.”
Her eyes look to mine. “How?”
I glance at the sky and sigh. “A plane crash.”
“She must be out of her mind,” Elliot says. “I can’t imagine how she must feel.”
Jose shakes his head. “Here we are, bruised and battered. I have a broken arm, Jessica has a busted head, and we’re talking about Jacob’s girlfriend.”
“Well,” Elliot cuts in, “it’s better than talking about your broken arm, Jessica’s busted head, or my burning plane.”
The four of us have bonded together. No one took on more than they could or should. When the door was stuck and Jessica couldn’t get it open, the three of us did everything we could to help get her out of the plane. When we realized the GPS transmitter wasn’t working and we were literally in the middle of nowhere, no one freaked out. After we formed a plan, we executed it. Together, we helped each other, made sure we had supplies to get through the night if we had to, and did our best to get to a place where we hoped we’d find help.
When the helicopter circled overhead, no one started running, we all remained calm and stayed the course.
“I’m so tired,” Jessica says as her eyes stay closed for a lot longer than I’m okay with. “I can’t. We should eat . . .”
“Jess, please stay awake. Just for a bit longer.”
The exhaustion is becoming too much. I’m tired. She’s tired. We’re all tired, and I don’t know that I can go much farther, but I force my feet to keep moving.