I pull my phone out of my pocket, looking at the last text.
Brenna: I hoped you’d call. I just want to talk.
I do too, but the conversation she and I need to have is better done in person. We fought and said shit that we probably shouldn’t have, but it made me realize that there’s no one else I want to fight with. I love her, and if that means that we fight until we fix it, then that’s how it has to be.
Me: And we will when we’re in the same state.
A few minutes go by, the little dots appear on the text, letting me know she’s typing. They start, stop, and start again.
Brenna: Okay.
That was a lot of time for one word, but I imagine that was difficult for her. I send a text to Sebastian.
Me: Break a leg, Kenickie. If I don’t make it back, know that I’m proud of you.
Sebastian: Do you think you’ll make it?
I don’t want to give him false hope.
Me: I’m doing my best.
Sebastian: Okay. We’re heading to the school to check on the stage crew. Mom is trying to remember all the things you asked them to do.
Me: I’m sure she’ll be great.
Sebastian: I hope you and my mom can fix things. She’s been crying a lot.
My fucking heart breaks. I hate that she’s crying. I never knew that heartache didn’t come from my own pain, it came from watching the woman I love hurt. That was the worst thing of all.
Me: Don’t worry about things. Just focus on your role and your lines.
Sebastian: Thanks, Jacob.
Me: We’ll talk soon.
Hopefully we’ll see each other sooner.
I toss my phone over on the side table, needing to stop watching the clock and wondering if the stage crew moved the light or if Danny shaved his head in protest of his mother making him eat spinach like he threatened to do.
The pilot rings the phone that’s next to my seat. “Hello?”
“Hello, Mr. Arrowood, this is Captain Elliot Lucas, we’re expecting a bit of turbulence in a few minutes. Please fasten your seatbelt and stay seated.”
Captain Lucas. Like Luke. My stomach does an odd flip, and I can’t tell if it’s a good thing he’s flying or an omen. “Okay. Thank you.”
“No problem, we should get through it pretty quickly. Just stay in your seat.”
I switch from the couch to the captain chair across the small walkway and pull my seatbelt tight.
The plane bobs once, and I grip the seat. I’ve never been afraid to fly, but I’m not a fan of turbulence either.
We climb back up, and it feels almost as if we’re going over a bumpy country road. I close my eyes, imagining that’s exactly what we’re doing. I hold on, trying to smile as we go over another big pot hole.
Only it feels like a sink hole. We plunge down before righting again.
Up and down the plane goes. There’s a loud explosion that comes from outside, and all at once, everything changes.
The lights go out, and the plane isn’t bouncing anymore . . . it’s just going down.
There is a pinging noise, and the flight attendant is stumbling her way toward me.
“What the hell is going on?” I yell.
“There is an engine failure. We are going to make an emergency landing. I need you to get into a bracing position and try to stay calm.”
“Where are you going?” I ask.
“I’m going to be in my jump seat right across from you. I need you to know how to get out of the plane if something happens to me. This is the door. You need to pull the lever up and then you’re going to push. If I’m incapacitated, I need you to unbuckle me and take me out of this aircraft with you if you’re able to.”
“We’re going to crash?”
“We’re going to make an emergency landing.”
Is there a fucking difference?
Jesus. I’m going to die.
I think about my brothers and how I didn’t talk to them before I left. I didn’t hug Hadley, BethAnne, Austin, or Deacon. I didn’t get to teach them all the things to do to their fathers to drive them crazy. I’ll never meet Sean and Devney’s baby.
Heartbreak takes over as a gorgeous woman with red hair and blue eyes fills my thoughts.
Brenna.
I’m going to die without Brenna knowing I still love her. She won’t hear me tell her that I forgive her. I won’t get to tell her about the life I want with her and the kids. I didn’t make things right with her, and now she’s going to have to go through this—again.
“Jacob?” the flight attendant calls out. “Do you remember what I said about the door?”
I nod because, if I open my mouth, I might throw up. We’re going down fast. I can hear the pilots going back and forth at one another.
“Stay calm and just follow my directions,” she instructs.
My heart is pounding, and I am trying to focus, but I can’t fucking breathe. “What’s your name?”
“Jessica.”
“Okay, Jessica, it’s great meeting you, and we’re about to go down in a plane crash together, so that means we’ll be lifelong friends if we survive.”
She tries to smile, but it looks mangled. “Get in your position, Jacob.”
I nod. “If I don’t make it, I need you to tell Brenna I loved her and I was thinking of her.”
“Don’t think that way.”
“My family. I need them all to know that I love them.”
“Focus, Jacob. Remember, getting off the aircraft is imperative.”
“Will you tell them?”
Jessica doesn’t say anything and then I see treetops. This is it. This is the end. I’m going to die on this plane and never see the people I love again. They’ll never know how much I care about them and the regrets I have.
I close my eyes, bringing the woman I love to the forefront.
I love you, Brenna.
“Jacob.” Jessica’s voice is strong and forceful.
“I’m ready.”
We are both bent forward, arms crossed over our chests, but her wide eyes are on me the whole time. “Brace! Brace! Brace!”
And the world goes black.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Brenna
The kids are being really great considering their director isn’t here. We have about an hour before curtain is up—or is it curtain call? I don’t know nor do I give a damn at this point. I slept like shit last night, well, that’s a lie. In order to sleep like shit I would have had to actually sleep, which I did not.
All day, I kept waiting and waiting and waiting for him to call, but I only got a text, and I’m still not sure what any of it means. The subsequent texts were no help either. I haven’t heard from him since, and I have no idea if he’s on a plane or not.