Somehow, she let Willow convince her to make the cake so she could take it home, so we all got to work on making it together. Stanley came in every once in a while to take pictures and record videos. Two hours flew by, and I was so sad when it was time for me to take her home. But she had started yawning, so I figured it was best to go on and leave before she wore herself out.
At the sight of me carrying her to the car, JD got out of his and met me halfway. He took her from my arms and put her in his car before closing the door and asking me, “Would you like to come over next weekend and spend more time with her?”
“I would love to.”
Our eyes remained locked, and I regretted not having my shades on. Still, I wanted to play nice, so I didn’t look away like I really wanted to. Jeremy pulled himself off the car and stepped directly in front of me. I looked up at him, and as soon as I did, he kissed me. Quickly, I pushed him away and had to keep myself from slapping him.
“Let me make this clear – I want nothing to do with you. I’m only concerned with having a relationship with my daughter. So whatever idea you had about us being a family, you can cancel that shit now.”
He smirked as he scratched his chin. “You’ll change your mind with time.”
Rolling my eyes, I stepped back and looked at Willow to keep from getting irritated. She’d fallen asleep already, thankfully, because I did not want her to see him kiss me. I didn’t want him feeding her any false narratives about us being together and living together, either. At this point, I was willing to do whatever it took to be in her life, but I refused to give Jeremy a chance. He’d already ripped Ishmael out of my heart… but I had absolutely no space inside of it for him.
Chapter 13
Ishmael
When I pulled up to my crib in Lakeland, I was surprised to see Rosalyn there. She’d asked me if we could talk, and I told her I’d be home around seven, but I didn’t pull up until close to midnight. The fact that she’d waited for me let me know she was serious about whatever she wanted to talk about, and I appreciated the fact that she respected my privacy enough to not let herself in even though she had a key.
Even with those things working in her favor, I still felt some type of way about what happened the last time we saw each other. It wasn’t so much that she broke up with me, because I could respect that; it was the fact that she didn’t tell me what was going on with her. As her man, I always felt the need to protect her. Whether what she was going through was something internal or external, I really wanted to fuck with her ass and help her, but she ain’t even give me that option.
As I pulled into the garage, I saw her getting out of her car out of the rearview mirror. I took my time going inside through the kitchen to let her in through the front door. Even though I wanted to pull her into my arms and slob her complicated ass down, I stood there and took her in as she almost dissolved right in front of me. We hadn’t seen each other in days, and she stood here, looking beautiful as fuck without even trying.
This was the first time I’d ever seen her so dressed down. Even when she slept it was in some extra ass lingerie. A nigga like me wanted to see that ass naked or in my shirt, but that’s just the kind of woman Rosalyn was. Right now, she was dressed in my shirt and some yoga shorts. Her hair was slicked down, and her face was free of makeup.
Rosalyn pulled her shades off, allowing me to look into her pretty ass eyes. Unable to resist, I ran my fingers across her chubby pecan colored cheek.
“What you doing here?”
Her head lowered briefly, but when she lifted it, she held it higher. “I was eating fried catfish and thought about you.”
As much as I didn’t want to, I smiled. The first time I saw her eat fried catfish I clowned her ass about it. She would use her fork to smear the tartar sauce on the piece of fish she was about to bite, then top it with hot sauce and a little coleslaw. That’s why it took her ass so damn long to finish a meal. She was so fucking extra. I loved her extra ass, though.
“What that got to do with me, Rosalyn?”
“I want to tell you the truth. If you don’t want to be with me afterwards that’s okay, but you deserve to know.”
Stepping to the side, I let her come in. I was happy that she finally decided she wanted to open up, but I couldn’t ignore the fact that it hurt my feelings that she took so long to take them into consideration. But I couldn’t say that shit. Not as a man. So I’d been lashing out ever since. Not even at her, but at everyone else I’d been coming in contact with.
We went to the living room and I offered her a seat, but I didn’t bother sitting down myself. As far as I was concerned, she was going to be leaving as soon as she finished talking.
I listened intently as she started from the beginning and told me about a sucka named JD. How he was married when she took him on as a client, but she didn’t know. I was cool with everything she said, even her getting pregnant, but when she told me she gave the baby up I had to sit down.
Next to her.
And take her hand into mine.
She was breaking right in front of me physically just recalling this, and as bad as I wanted to be mad at her, now that she was finally showing her hand and her heart – I couldn’t be.
Rosalyn told me that she broke up with me because JD came back to Memphis and tried to blackmail her into doing away with me. Now that she was trying to be in her daughter’s life, Rosalyn was willing to do whatever it took to make that happen.
“So why are you here then? Why are you telling me this?”
Her head shook as she released a heavy breath. “Because my princess… she’s not angry with me for not being in her life. And my mother and grandmother, they are proud of me for finally stepping up and handling my responsibilities.” Caressing my cheek with her fingers, Rosalyn clenched her jaw as she fought back her tears. “The only other person I care about is you. In that moment, I feared how this would cause you to perceive me. I didn’t want anyone to know about what I had done. But now… I don’t even care. I would like for us to be together again, but if we can’t, I accept that. I just… I wanted you to know.”
“Why didn’t you trust me enough to tell me the truth, love?”
I removed my hand from hers and put some space between us.
“Because I didn’t want you judging me. I know that sounds foolish with how I’ve lived my life up until now, but I failed at the thing that I needed to excel at most, and I simply didn’t want anyone to know about it. But, I don’t care anymore because I can’t let JD or anyone else control my life. If he wants to tell the world, cool, but I can’t let him pull me away from you…”
“He didn’t,” I interrupted quietly, trying my hardest not to yell and get even more upset than I already was. “You did. All you had to do was tell me the truth, Rosalyn.”
“I know,” she whined quietly as her head hung. “I was scared, Ishmael.”
And she had every right to be. I’m sure a lot of people face judgment over some shit like that. Who would want to be ridiculed for giving up their child? But there was a side to this that she wasn’t seeing, and I guess it was because she was on the inside looking out.