“Shit, Lily,” Hud says, dropping his grip on me. He stretches out his hand to her, speaks softly like I expect he would have when she was little. “That’s really dangerous. You want to hand that to me?”
“No.” She’s white as a sheet. Her eyes are overly bright. But she has this air of calm and steel about her that belies the craziness of that broken bottle. “Not until you let Vale go. I can’t believe you’re being so bullheaded. I’m a grown woman who can make her own decisions. I don’t need you to treat me like a child. I certainly don’t want you trying to beat up my boyfriend.”
“Your boyfriend?” He glances at me, questioning.
“Yeah,” I say. “I hope you can deal with that. I know it might take some time.”
“Here.” Cal wraps a hand around Lil’s wrist and gently disentangles her fingers from around the neck of the bottle. “Let me take that for you, Lil.”
“Okay.” She exhales like she’s relieved to have him take the weapon. “I wasn’t going to use it. I’m not… I just needed them to stop. I couldn’t let you two tear each other apart.”
“I know, pretty girl, you were just fighting for what you believe in. You’re so strong. You’re amazing.” Glass is lodged into my shoulder blade and it stings like a motherfucker. “But perhaps you better leave the fighting to us morons. I’d hate to see you get hurt.” I push at Hud. “Let me up.”
“How could you, man?” He’s breathing rough, but the anger is dissipating and leaving disappointment. “I asked one thing of you. Stay the fuck away from my sister. I told you in French, German, and freaking Welsh not to touch her. I don’t know how many times I’ve quoted the one damn rule in our whole bro-code. Lily is off-limits to you. I thought we were brothers.”
I clasp his huge head between both my hands. Press my forehead to his like two rams locking horns in battle. Hope he can see the truth in my eyes. “I didn’t mean to break the rules, man. We are brothers. I love you like you’re my own flesh and blood. But Lily is everything to me.”
“Really?” His lips curve up viciously.
It’s the first time, even with the glass tearing at my skin, that I’ve felt like I don’t have this situation under control.
“You’re in love with my sister now?” He shakes his head. “You’re just using her to get through the fact that Jessa chose your brother over you.”
Red turns to black behind my eyelids. I can’t breathe. There’s a hundred pounds compressing my chest. I shove at him. Shove him hard. “Fuck you.”
I storm toward the other end of the bar. Jessa had no other option but to choose my brother. I never had a choice but to let it happen. And yet it hangs over me all these years later. But there’s no love between us. It’s so much worse than that.
“She’s moving to L.A., you know,” Hud says.
“What?” I spin around to face him. There’s no way I heard him right. Not with my pulse pounding in my ears the way it is.
Lily pulls my attention from him. “That’s not—”
“She didn’t tell you?” Hud frowns as he climbs to his feet. Blood oozes through his pants over his shin. He wipes his hands gingerly on his thighs and winces.
“You’re moving?” I gape at her. Every breath I take feels forced.
“No.” She squirms toward the edge of the counter. Stops when she realizes she has no shoes on and there’s glass littering every inch of the floor between us. She glares at Hud. “No, I’m not moving.”
“You are.” He stonewalls her. “You don’t get that kind of promotion and turn it down. Not when you’ve worked as hard as you have.”
“What’s the promotion?”
“Carlan offered me a partnership,” she admits. “He wants me to move to L.A. and open up an office there.”
“You’ll be running an entire office.” Hud sounds chuffed. His chest puffs up because he’s so damn proud of her. A similar sensation fills me.
Her fingers turn white on the edge of the stainless steel as she draws her arms in and her shoulders up to her ears. She doesn’t quite look at me. “It’s not a big deal.”
“We should get you two idiots to the emergency room,” Cal says. “You’ve got glass wedged in your shoulder, Vale.”
I wave him off. I can’t feel it at the moment. “It’s a huge deal, Lil. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I was going to,” she says. “B-before you asked me to be your girlfriend. I’m not taking it though.”
“Are you kidding me?” I fork my fingers through my hair. Bits of dust and glass fall from the strands. “You have to take it.”
“You think I should?” She bites her lip. “Is that with or without you?”
“I can’t,” the words tumble out instinctually. “I can’t follow you there.”
“Because of Jessa,” she says.
How do I even begin to respond to that statement? I swallow around the pain welling up inside me. I don’t want to let her go. But I have to.
“Because you’ll never love me the way you did her,” she says.
“I’m sorry.” I can’t move to L.A. I can’t deal with the past I’ve been running from for half my life. I don’t know how to. Not even for her. “I can’t.”
“It’s okay,” she says, sliding away from me. Literally. Climbing back over to the safe side of the bar. Gathering her heels from where they landed when she threw them at Hud earlier.
“It’s not okay. The last thing I want to do is hurt you.” Even though I knew I would from the get go. But not like this. I thought I’d screw it up because I couldn’t fall for her. Or because I’m not meant to be a one-woman guy. I never imagined it would come down to her moving to L.A.
“I knew what I was getting myself into.” She slides her feet into the heels. Smoothes shaky hands down her shirt. Over that sweet skirt. “I knew there was a good chance you could never love me the way I love you.”
“Lily,” I start, but what can I say? Stay and give up everything you’ve worked so hard to achieve, for me? Maybe it’s better to let her believe the lie.
“This is why I didn’t want you messing with my sister.” Hud glares at me.
“I’m sorry.” I back up. Glass crunches under my boots. “Lil, I wish—”
“Wishes won’t help this,” she says, smiling at me despite the tears giving her bright eyes. Then she turns to Arrow. “Can you…would you mind taking me home? I’m a little discombobulated.”
“Sure thing, little Kelly.” Arrow takes her elbow and ushers her toward the exit.
“This is why I warned you,” Hud says when the door closes behind them. “This is why you should have listened to me. She’s been in love with you forever, and I knew you’d hurt her. And I didn’t want to have to be pissed at my best friend.”
He marches out from behind the bar. Stops beside Cal and claps the guy on the shoulder. “Are we taking your car?”