“Yeah,” Cal says.
“I’ll wait outside.” Hud disappears through the big double doors that lead outside.
“I’ll clean up.” Pez navigates around the glass and heads for the kitchen.
“Fleetwood will be here shortly,” Cal calls out to him.
I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I’m numb or something. High on fumes from all the spilled alcohol. I can’t… Lily is gone. She’s left me. She’s leaving. Nothing feels right.
Cal approaches the bar. “You’re not doing okay.”
“No.” I blink. My chest hurts. My heart… doesn’t seem to be pumping my blood around correctly. It’s like Lily was my oxygen. And now… I can’t breathe. I can’t work out what I’m supposed to do next. “No, I’m not okay.”
“Plus, you have a couple of gnarly splinters poking out of your back,” he says. “We need to get you in to see a doctor to deal with that.”
“All right.” I stagger out from behind the bar.
“You’re going to be okay,” he says.
“Really? Because between you and me I’m not sure I could ever be okay without Lily.”
“You’ll fix it,” he says.
“Yes.” I rest a hand on his shoulder. “I’ll pay for the damages. The loss of stock.”
“That’d be appreciated,” he says as we walk toward the exit. “But that’s not what I’m talking about. You’ll fix it with Lily.”
“I don’t think that’s going to happen.”
“It will when you’re ready.” He gives me this look that says I know you and I know what you’re going through. I’ve been there. I’ve felt the way you do right now.
But I don’t think he possibly can. “It’s better this way.”
“Okay,” he says. “Let’s get you two sorted out.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
Lily
Hud: Call me, Lil. I need to know you’re okay.
Arrow: Need anything, little Kelly?
Fleetwood: Chin up, girl. Big hugs.
Cal: Probably not what you want to hear right now, but give him time.
Hud: I’m calling your friends. I know you don’t want to talk to me right now, but you need someone in your corner.
Pez: Let me know if you need anything.
Kiki: What the hell happened?
Trix: That bastard!
Lewis: We’re on our way. Just stopped for donuts and tequila.
“Lil, are you in here?” Kiki’s voice drags me out of my semi-comatose state as she enters my bedroom. “We’ve been worried about you. Your brother told us Vale broke up with you. Gave us the key to get in.”
“He asked me to be his girlfriend,” I mumble into my covers. “And then he immediately broke up with me.”
My eyes sting from the crying jags I’ve indulged in since then. My eyelids are swollen and my throat is raw. He chose the ghost of girlfriends past over me. I mean I knew there was always a chance, but I’d hoped… Like a complete idiot I’d fallen irreparably in love with him anyway.
“Let there be light.” Lewis flips the switch on the wall.
I slam my lids shut and pull a pillow over my head. “Turn it off.”
“You can’t wallow, Lilly Pilly,” he says sternly. “You have to pack for L.A. Find an apartment. Find someone to sublet this one. You’re going to be a rockstar of the design world. You can’t do that from underneath your pillow.”
“It just really hurts, you know?” I curl into the fetal position.
“I know, babe,” Kiki croons as she rubs my side. “It’s a horrible feeling having your heart broken. But you’re strong. You can deal with this.”
“I need a little more time to feel awful,” I say.
“You’ve been in bed for a week,” Trix says, her weight sinking onto the bed behind me. She leans over to smooth my hair out of my face. “You should at least get up and take a shower. Have something to eat. We picked up some donuts and some of your favorite sandwiches.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“Sure you are,” Lewis says.
“I’m too sad to eat.” My stomach grumbles.
“You’ll have a little something,” Trix orders.
Maybe I’d feel a little better if I did put something in my stomach. I sit up slowly and toss off the covers. “Okay. Fine. What time is it?”
“A little after seven,” Lewis says.
“That’s early.”
“It’s Friday night,” he says dryly.
“Oh.”
“Shower first,” Kiki says. “We’ll wait in the living room.”
I’ve been in bed too long. My muscles protest on the way to the shower. I turn on the water and use the toilet while I wait for it to heat up. Ten minutes later I feel like I could pass for a reasonable human being as I brush the snaggles out of my hair. Barely, that is. My eyes are bloodshot. And I’m pretty sure someone opened up my chest cavity and left me with nothing but a hole where my heart should be. And then thinking about Vale makes my heart feel like it’s breaking all over again.
I pull on sweats and a tank top and check my phone. There are a million messages. Mostly from Hud. There isn’t a single one from Vale or Cap’N Crunch. So it’s really over. This isn’t some nightmare that I’m going to wake up from. He’s in love with someone else. And not someone in the picture, who he could actually have a relationship with. It hurts so freaking much that he’d pick her over me. But then my mother picked drugs over me. And my father picked work over me. Even I was willing to pick him over me. The only person who has always chosen me first is Hud. That’s what he was doing when he tried to beat Vale up for being with me. His misguided attempt to protect me was just another example that my brother will always be in my corner. Not that I ever needed him to be that overprotective. Not that I’m not a big girl who can handle her own dating life like an adult. I was doing just fine.
“Cruller?” Kiki asks, holding one out to me when I enter the kitchen.
“Thanks.” I take it and tear a chunk off it and pop it in my mouth.
Trix is pouring fresh coffee into mugs. She puts one in front of me with a sympathetic smile.
“Thanks.” I sip the sweet brew. It soothes my head. It does nothing for me heart.
“You want me to throw out your cereal?” Lewis asks, rifling through my kitchen cupboards.
I glance at the boxes of Cap’N Crunch and Crunch Berries. I can barely swallow the chunk of donut as my eyes water. “Please. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to look at breakfast foods the same.”
“Gotcha.” He starts pulling the boxes out. “And I told Coda you won’t be reviewing the app. Seems like the app has been pulled, though.”
“He removed it?” I guess he’s really not going to message me then. All these years… now we’re supposed to what? Forget each other exists?
“That’s what I heard,” he says.
“Carlan asked about you today,” Kiki says. She’s been covering for me all week at work. “Wanted to know if there was anything he could do. Suggested chicken noodle soup for your raging influenza.”