“I’m sorry that I didn’t talk to you about what was happening earlier. I should have been upfront with you.”
“I still would have lost my shit,” he says. “I get why you didn’t. Now let’s leave it at that. What’s this story that’s going to explain why you’re such a lovable screw up?”
“Here goes.” I take a deep breath. “Jessa’s my sister.”
Thirty minutes later he rubs the back of his neck and sighs. “Okay mother ducker, let me see if I’ve got this straight. You have two sisters and a brother. And your sister is marrying your brother.”
“Except they aren’t related,” Cal reminds him.
“Right. And the reason you fuck redheads is because you screwed your surprise sister’s best friend, who happened to be a redhead?
“Right. Her friend came onto me and I figured if Jessa caught us together, she’d break up with me.”
“Makes sense,” Hud says.
“It was fucking stupid.” I shake my head. Breaking up with Jessa by sleeping with her best friend… I was such a coward. I didn’t know how to tell her that my dad was her father. So I got plastered at a party and ended up in a bedroom with Bellamy. I don’t remember the details. I barely remember Jessa’s face when she burst into the room. “For the longest time after that I really believed that I was going to end up like my dad. I didn’t want to care about anyone I could hurt.”
“You were confused. Drunk. And seventeen,” Hud points out. “Because your dad is a terrible father. He’s not even a decent human being. Who puts that shit on his seventeen-year-old kid?”
“Exactly,” Cal says, fixing another pot of coffee. “Your dad is culpable here. He should have come clean about the fact he was Jessa’s dad instead of putting it on you to keep his secret.”
“I didn’t want to hurt Jessa. She didn’t deserve to be in that position any more than I did.”
“And then Ryder—”
“Beat the living snot out of me. He’d been in love with her the whole time. He knocked me unconscious for hurting her, even though it finally meant he had a shot with her. They should have been together from the start, but we were so used to competing for everything I couldn’t just let him be happy. He wasn’t even my father’s son. And yes, I’m aware, now, that biology isn’t everything. But back then it killed me that he was Dad’s chosen one when they didn’t even share genetics.”
“That’s rough,” Hud murmurs. “And your dad watched the whole thing without saying a fucking word?”
“He didn’t want to reveal his indiscretion. And Mom had never gone against him in her life. I think she understood how easy it would be for him to replace her.” I shrug like it doesn’t still sting all these years later. “After Ryder knocked me out, I fell into the pool. Luckily Arwen saw the whole thing and jumped into the water after me. Ryder and I, we used to block everything out when we went at each other. It probably didn’t even register with him that I could have drowned. Or he didn’t care.”
“Someone who doesn’t care if you live or die doesn’t invite you to their wedding,” Cal says.
“Maybe he thinks he can rub it in my face that he and Jessa are happy,” I say.
“Perhaps,” Cal says. “It seems a little unlikely after all these years, but then this whole story is like something out of The Twilight Zone.”
“I can’t wrap my head around it.” Hud grips his skull. “I can’t believe you’ve lived with this for so long and not told anyone. You’ve never had a reason to trust anyone, let alone yourself. No wonder you’re so commitment phobic.”
“Except I’m not anymore,” I say. “I’m in love with Lily. I didn’t realize how much. But being without her isn’t an option. I don’t know how I’m going to deal with all this family shit, but if Lily needs me to move to L.A., then I’m moving to L.A.”
“Oh my God.” Hud flutters a hand in front of his face, his eyes welling up. “We’re going to be family. You’re going to date my sister.”
“Come here, you big softie.” I throw my arms around him and thump him on the back with my fist a couple of times as he chokes up.
Cal rolls his gaze at me and shrugs.
“I’m all right.” Hud clears his throat and picks up his beer. “We’re good.”
“So who wants to lend me their phone so I can call Lily?”
“You can’t call her.” Hud frowns. “Don’t you know anything about women?”
“I know I need to talk to her,” I say. “Tell her that I’ll move to L.A. for her. Tell her everything.”
“Yes. Well, that’s good. You should absolutely tell her all of that,” he says.
Cal nods.
“Right, so hand me your phone.”
“It’s just that you can’t do it like that,” Hud says. “Besides, she wouldn’t answer her phone. She’s so upset she’s not talking to me either.”
“So I’ll go and see her.” I get to my feet.
“It’s late,” Cal says. “You’re not going tonight. Besides, you’re barely sober.”
“And you need a plan,” Hud says. “For when she rebuffs you.”
“You think she will?”
“This is Lily we’re talking about.” His chest puffs up. “I’ve taught her better than to accept your sorry ass on first apology.”
“You’re right.” She’s sassy, strong-willed, and lives life at full volume. All reasons I fell in love with her, but also reasons that winning her back won’t be easy. I sit back down. “I’m going to have to grovel, aren’t I?”
Cal nods. “Welcome to the club.”
“Didn’t think I’d ever find myself here.” It feels like I’ve been dragged kicking and screaming into a new world where everything is topsy turvy but there’s a chance that I can put it right. And that’s all I need. For Lily to give me one chance to fix this. “So how am I going to win her back?”
“She’s been in love with you for twelve years,” Hud says. “You better be prepared to come up with a gesture worthy of that.”
“Shit.” I finger my collar and stretch it away from my neck. “No pressure then.”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Lily
“How are you feeling, Lilly Pilly?” Kiki asks as she hands me a mug full of strong, sweet coffee. “You need some pain killers?”
“Not unless you’ve got something to stop my heart hurting.” I cradle the warm mug between my hands. I’d angrily drunken texted him last night thanks to the tequila. Given him an earful. Asked him why. He couldn’t even send me a single text back.
I know I have to move on. I will. But right now there’s this space he used to fill in my heart that aches for him. “I hate this. How can it feel this bad?”
“Because you really loved him,” she says. “And when you love someone like that there’s no easy way through the end of it. You’re just going to have to put one foot in front of the other.”