“Dad it’s not like that, he would never do that.” I stress my point.
“Sadly I think you’re right and to be honest that is more than what you deserve.” I really need to get out of here before I say something that I’ll regret.
“What is this pick on Luci day or something?” I say whilst gathering the twin’s things up.
“Not at all, I just think you’re being foolish when it comes to him, he’s put up with a lot from you in one year.” I know he is right so I stay quiet, my dad has a habit of saying things like that.
Everyone clears out for work after this discussion leaving me alone with Junior and Teddy and my thoughts. Eventually I take them home and get them settled in, we spend the day playing and I show them pictures of their daddy, telling them who he is.
After dinner I give them both a bath and get them ready for bed, they both go down quite quickly. I watch some T.V before heading to bed myself.
I lay awake thinking about yesterday and last night, suddenly I panic thinking about being intimate with him, he come inside me several times and I’m not on the pill anymore, I never went back on it after I had the boys, I didn’t need too, shit, there is every chance I could be pregnant again, for fuck sake…………
Chapter Fifteen
Of course the gods had to conspire against me, it’s been two months since Kenni’s visit and I’m currently living in denial.
I haven’t officially acknowledged my pregnancy but I can’t deny the symptoms anymore, mainly very bad morning sickness. I’m even more tired than I was before and I’m too scared to admit the truth, especially to my family.
So todays the day I confirm my suspicions, after dropping the boys off to nursery I head into town to do some shopping and making it a point to buy a home pregnancy test. When I got home I rush to the toilet and pee on the stick, three minutes later my suspicions are confirmed, pregnant. God I’m fertile.
I pick the boys up from nursery and head to the park for a walk. It’s a nice summer’s day and it’s nice just getting out of the house. If I was honest with myself I actually enjoy being a stay at home mum, I’m in no rush to get back to work, put it that way.
I’m also having dinner with the whole family later, so no time like the present, tonight’s the night I once again see disapproval over my parent face. I’ve also made my mind up about going home, just as soon as I’d had this baby I’m going home to Kenni.
So at teatime everyone is sat around the table talking about mundane things, the boys are quietly watching the bedtime hour on Cbeebies, so I cease the opportunity.
“Sorry can I have your attention please.” Everyone looks at me, waiting patiently, here goes nothing.
“I’m two months pregnant.” All I can hear are soft lullabies coming from the T.V.
“Is this some kind of sick joke Luci?” My dad asked.
“I wish it was dad, I bloody wish it was.” I lower my gaze looking at my fingers so I can’t see my dad’s face.
“How in the hell did this one happen.” He asks, like he did the first time.
“My fault again, I forgot when I met up with Kenni that I wasn’t’ on the pill anymore, I hadn’t gone back on it from having the boys, well I suppose he just assumed I was still on the pill and we didn’t use anything, I take full responsibility for it.” Because it’s all my fault.
“I can’t believe this Luci, this is so irresponsible.” He’s right so I don’t argue.
“I know dad.” I acknowledge, tail between my legs.
“Are you going to tell him about any off his children? The poor man is in for the shock of his life soon.” I grin at the thought of Kenni meeting all three of his children, inappropriate but funny.
“Actually this leads me on to my next piece of news, I’ve decided I’m going back, me and the children are moving back there.” I’m met with gasps from everyone.
“Praise the lord hallelujah. I never thought this day would come.” My mum this time.
“Ok mum no need to sound desperate to get rid of me. After I have this baby I’m going home, I’m not a fan of flying whilst pregnant, especially long haul, but were going back.”
“Luci those children need their father. I’ll miss you all more than I’ll care to admit but you need to do this. Just expect a visitor a couple of times a year.” I know my mum is not joking either.
“I’m handing my notice in at work, I have enough money to live on until I go back, but I have a lot of things to get in place before we go. Who wants to come with me to the first scan?” Both Ruby and my mum pipe up yes. The evening moves on and no more is said about the pregnancy. I eventually take the boys home and settle them into bed.
Kenni phones the following Sunday as usual and I want to give him something to look forward too.
“So I have some news, but it’s going to take me a while to implement, so you can’t get excited yet ok, promise me?” I tell Kenni on the phone.
“Luci I can’t promise if I don’t know what it is.” I don’t miss the hopeful sound in his voice.
“I’m coming home to you, not straight away, it’s going to take me a while to get everything in place but I’m coming back.”
“Are you serious? Please don’t joke around Luci, if this is true I am over the moon happy.”
“It’s true but like I said give me some time to get myself together.”
“Take all the time you need as long as I know you’re coming everything else will fall into place.” I have a permanent smile plastered on my face now.
My first scan comes around quickly and I’m shocked to see the same sonographer again when I walk in, she asks me the usual questions, I’m able to give her an exact date of conception so dating is easy this time. I am relieved when she says it is a single pregnancy, she prints out a couple of pictures for me.
“So I guess your husband finally came over?” she asks with a smile on her face.
“He sure did, left me a lovely anniversary present as well.” She laughed at that one.
The weeks were starting to fly by and before I knew it, I was in having my five-month scan, I’m hoping to find out the sex, Ruby and my mum are both in with me again. She is taking pictures on the screen again and then asks me.
“Did you want to know the sex of this one?” She looks straight at me for confirmation.
“Yes please.” My heart is currently pounding.
“It’s a girl.” She once again zooms in on the private area and attempts to explain it to me before printing of some pictures for me. As if like tradition, my phone rings as I’m leaving and it’s Caleb.
“A baby girl.” I happily tell him.
“A girl, you’re having a girl, dad it’s a girl.” He hangs up after a couple of minutes and we go to lunch like we did last time.
Christmas is upon us and being nearly a year old the boys are old enough to enjoy it this year, they are thoroughly spoilt but I don’t care.
We have a small party for them on New Year’s Eve for their birthday, it fathoms me how quick this year has gone, they’re once again spoilt with presents, I feel guilty that Kenni has missed out on the first year of their lives but don’t dwell on it.