I walk over the SUV waiting on me but stop when I feel a pair of eyes on me. When I turn, I see it’s Angels brother Anthony. I nod at him and he nods back but I can feel the energy radiating off him. Just like his mother, he was warning me to never make a mistake like this again. Noted.
Inside the truck I call to make sure she made it to the hotel safely, and I mentally prepare myself for seeing her again in a private setting. I’ve waiting two long weeks to clear the air with her. And it’s time for me to set the record straight.
“Speed up.” I call out to the driver.
“Yes, sir.”
I need her to know there is no leaving me again. The big bad wolf is about to blow all those walls down. I sit back and adjust myself. The sooner, the better I’ve waited long enough.
Shocker
Angel
Channing is so extra. Sitting at the hotel I shake my head at seeing he’s placed not one, not two, not even freaking three but FOUR bodyguards on me. This is the type of shit that will have to stop if we are planning to make this relationship work. I don’t want to feel smothered and untrusted like this. I want us to be a normal couple, who started off kind of weird. Frustrated at my thought process of how to make this work with a male who is the definition of toxic masculinity, I groan at how dumb I feel for even wanting to continue this relationship.
“Angel Giles you are so dumb, since when did you become a fucking pick me?” I say to myself but jump at the sound of the hotel suite door opening.
“You mean Angel Stohurst don’t you? And you’ve never been a pick me, whatever that is, because you’ve always been mine.”
“Yeah in your head.” I put my hands on my hips and he walks over engulfing me into a hug.
“I can’t refute that. In my head, from the moment I laid eyes on you, you were mine. I only wish I wasn’t so stupid so you could have become mine sooner.” I don’t deny him a hug back because I did miss him and for some reason as his scent washed over me, I felt calm and less agitated about the situation.
“I wish you’d have done that too but instead you turned into a creepy stalker.” I push back and get serious with him.
“Channing, baby I need you to be serious with me for the sake of our relationship and our future. Why did you do those things? If you wanted me that bad why did you treat me so terribly? Why didn’t you just ask me out? I don’t understand.”
“I was scared to be honest. When you came into my life everything instantly changed. I was a person I didn’t know, and I had to adapt with so many new things.”
“You’re not making any sense, are talking about getting used to desiring a plus sized black girl or-” he shook his head and sat down.
“No, Angel it’s more than that. My obsession with you was so all consuming and instantaneous it scared me. I’m not making myself out to be the victim because I know what I did was wrong. I’m just saying you don’t know the inner turmoil I went through knowing what I was doing was fucked up but too scared to make a move. Every day, I dug myself into a deeper hole thinking I’d never be able to have you.
I was stupid, and horrible, and selfish and shit just about the lowest thing on earth but still I was willing to be that if I could have even an ounce of you. That’s a lame excuse but I adore you just that much.” Damn that was a good speech.
“But what about the marriage license? We are not married. I refuse to think even your stalking ass would stoop that low.”
“I’m as low as they come, I’m afraid. I tricked you into signing them. I’m sorry.” Body tensing up I ball my fist in anger.
“Ch-Channing! I-” guh, I had no words to describe my hurt, sadness and disbelief. “You are so fucking twisted. I don’t get you! All you had to do was fucking ask me! You took away my choice. You took away my ability to have my dream wedding. You took all my-”
“No baby I didn’t yes, I know I’m wrong but-”
“THERE IS NO BUTS CHANNING YOU WERE WRONG PERIOD!!! WHAT I WANT… NO WHAT I NEED FOR YOU TO DO IS TO STOP MAKING EXCUSES. STOP HANDING ME SHIT AND EXPECTING ME TO EAT IT. TAKE ACCOUNTABLITLITY FOR EVERY FUCKING THING YOU’VE DONE TO ME AND FIX IT!!!” I was hyperventilating, unable to catch my breath, unable to stop crying, unable to hide my disappointment in the man I love.
I feel so hurt, used and broken when if he’d handled the way loves me better, I’d be on cloud nine. Everything Channing has done up until now is selfish, because he took away my ability to deny him. The stupid part in all of this is I would have more than likely never have denied him my love in the first place, so I don’t get it.
“Channing I can’t.”
“No, please don’t leave me.” Even though I wasn’t about to say that I knew he was feeling the consequences of his actions because for once I saw a crack in his shield. I saw something other than defense and that was tears. Though he deserves to cry and suffer for what he’s done, I sigh and walk over to him wrapping my arms around him from behind.
“Channing, I need you to fix this. I need you to do things right. I need something to tell our baby other than his daddy is a lying, stalking and manipulative softie.”
“Okay Angel I’ll f-” he stiffened and turned around so fast I heard a crack in his neck, yet that didn’t faze him. “Baby?” I nod. Never have I seen a man light up at hearing they will be a dad as Channing just did.
“Please… Angel please tell me you’re not joking.”
“With everything you have put me through the last thing I would do it lie so you can become even more obsessive about me, but I digress. You will be a dad soon.” Standing he picked me up and started swinging me around and it was like lead hitting the pit of my stomach. Everything I’d eaten from childhood came up all over Channing. It was like The Exorcist in here.
By the time I was done, I was crying uncontrollably and hungry, not understanding a damn thing. Since when did pregnancy symptoms hit so hard and fast? Stomach in knots, I gasp in pain feeling like something isn’t right.
“Channing! Baby something isn’t right! Something isn’t right.” Covered in vomit, Channing rushes us to the bathroom, strips us and quickly washes us. After he wraps me up in towels he runs me over to the bed and calls one of the bodyguards in to get the room cleaned. Once that was taken care of his gets on his phone and paces the floor.
“Teagan! I’m sorry I’m calling so late, but my mate is- yes I was able to get to her, but the thing is she’s pregnant.” He paused and looked at me. “No, she looks the same as she did the last time, I saw her two weeks ago?” He pursed his lips and shake his head. “But she’s already experiencing morning sickness… WHAT!.. Okay, okay I-I see. Okay we will head to you tonight. Yes, I understand no detours, no doctors. I understand.” No doctors? Who the hell? Why would the person he’s talking to suggest that?
Once he’s off the phone he gathers me up out of the room. I have so many questions but he’s barking orders left and right and I can’t get a word in edge wise. Before I know it, we are in the SUV and then on a jet heading to God knows where. Curled in a ball, I finally have the energy to ask him what’s going on.