Irina smiled and looked my way.
Yes in my mind, Irina was perfect in every way.
But how can I stop the marriage.
Mary then turned her attention back to Irina. Irina continued talking to her. Irina convinced her that she needed to move away for her health.
Finally, unbelievably Mary nodded and agreed. She said ,”yes I think I'll go back to my mother’s.”
My eyes widened it was so easy.
I couldn't believe that my need to Irina, my innocent little Irina had convinced Mary not to go back to her abusive husband.
I know what you this woman's love. She's so selfless. He's too good for me I'm just damaged goods. Maybe she should marry Dimitri he can afford all the things she desires. What am I even saying? I will not let that happen. I can't let this continue I have to tell the truth.
I must hand her over to Dimitri.
Irina says she's going to go with me to drop Mary off.
I shake my head and clamp down on that idea.
I said “you stay here just in case Dimitri calls. Blake might come by. Besides I will be back to check on you.”
Shocked, she swallowed. Her eyes widened. She asked:
“Are you trying to tell me that you don't want me by your side?”
She was probably wondering what this had to do with Blake.
I nod. Yes I guess I am a bad liar.
She could sense it. but since it wasn't about Blake I didn't want to be around her much longer. She clenched her fists and walked away from the room.
Mary looked disapprovingly at me and said “you better run after her. but I already made up my mind. I wasn't going to go after her. She's not right for me. She is right for someone else.”
I let fear take over my emotions, I was frightened of falling in love. Lets just say I couldn't handle the pain of potentially having my heart broken. I could hear my darling Irina sobbing.
Mary looks at me and says “what are you going ?”
I turned to Mary said, “let's get your things. We are heading over to your mom's place.”
Maybe gasped.
She asked, “What! Are you not going to check on her? Really Lars?”
She tried to persuade me to check on Irina, instead I walked away. Mary shook her head and sighed. Then she said “Fine, I’ll be ready in five minutes. I don’t want to be part of this anyway”
She hurried into her room, grabbed her things and handed them to me. Then I led her to my Mercedes Maybach. I pause to see Irina standing by the door.
I take in a deep breath and walk towards her.
I hold Irina one last time. A part of me wonders if she would be there when I return.
I wipe a tear off her cheek.
She stares into my eyes and says, “Go I will be fine. make sure she is safe. That is all that should matter right now.”
I take in a deep breath and exhale. I kiss her lips and then I pull back.
“Go Lars..” She says. I nod.
I tease her face momentarily and then I turn towards the vehicle. I can tell she is watching as I walk away. I step into the car next to Mary. She shakes her and says, “Irina is good one, Lars. You must keep her”
I swallow and nod. But deep down inside, I think I dod not deserve Irina. I wonder if she has the same thoughts about our relationship.
Who knows maybe Irina might be thinking perhaps the best thing to happen is that we part ways.
Irina
I stare as they pull away leaving me in shock.
I can't believe he left me sobbing and cannot believe he did not try comforting me.
I glanced out the window and stare as his car drives away.
I sigh and think maybe it wasn't meant to be after all.
Why would he say such a thing?
What would he say that I belong to Dimitri when he must know how I feel about him. I ran my hands through my hair. Why is he doing this?
It might be a test. I can actually leave right now. but I'm not going to leave. I closed my eyes.
I'm going to wait till he returns and then we will talk this. I slumped down on the couch. Hurt and confused by his crazy twists.
Why would he say those things.
I would he say that I belong to Dimitri? Why would he want to give me up to a man I cannot stand? Getting what we have been anything to him?
I decided to clean up all the dishes.
I didn't know how much longer I could do this. How much longer I can stay this way. I mean human being after all. I have feelings.
Oh Lars, I wish you would realize that I have feelings for you Lars I'm not going to go anywhere
I tell myself stay Irina stay.
I guess I was just rehashing what I was going to tell the moment he gets back
I glanced at the clock.
He must realize that he only has less than 24 hours left to return me to Dimitri. I palmed my face. How can I be married now and why?
The tears streamed down my cheeks.
I'm so confused.
I decided to go lay down. but I can't I mean he left so quickly without giving me a chance to say goodbye to Mary. What is wrong with him? What is wrong with me? Am I going insane? Why am I still here. I could very well easily walk out the door. But then I choose not to why?
I make myself busy by cleaning around his place.
A few hours later he returns. He grabs my hand he sees me and says in a firm voice, “You need to get back to your quarters.”
I swallow.
what does he mean I need to get back to my quarters?So now it's my quarters? After visiting his part of this home?
But this is not even a home. This is a dark mansion. yes a dark evil mansion. I leaned towards him and ask “what's going on why you treat me this way all of a sudden?"
He turns his gaze away from me. I can smell the alcohol. He must've had a drink or two.
I turn to him and plead “why you doing this? What did I do what was so wrong?”
He slides his fingers through his sexy hair and says, "it's not you. it's me. I'm the one who's doing this. I'm not right for you Irina. You are crazy to want to be with me. Besides you belong to Dimitri. We have a few hours left. Why we fooling ourselves? This isn't going to end well. It's going to be a crazy. Now I have to take you back to quarters where you will await your wedding.”
Upset my the change, I growl and tell him I do not want to get married. Besides Dimitri is not going to marry me now that I'm no longer pure.
I spat out: “He is not going to marry me now Lars, I gave you my virginity!’
"I wish I could give it back. I wish I could give you back your virginity?"
I shook my head.
“ I don't want to back. I lost my virginity yes. but I gained you. I thought you cared about me. so that's why this is all so strange the way you're acting? It hurts it hurts Lars why you doing this? Let me back in please. I am not like the others please.”
He doesn't respond.
Instead he holds my hand and leads me back to the quarters in silence.
And then he walks away, leaving me sad and depressed.
I stand there stunned and unable to believe what just happened. I couldn’t believe he just walked away without a word. Didn’t I mean anything? The thoughts flash through my mind. Why is he pulling back when he knows deep down inside he wants us to be together. Then I reprimand myself by saying, “Stop it Irina. You read too much into the relationship that probably was not meant to be. And why would you want that? What if he ended up with you and you had children? Would you want your kids to grow up in a place like this? Do you want to stay hiding away forever? Or do you want to be free?