I didn't tell them that I love him. I told him I liked him. but my feelings go deeper than that. I love him. I want to be with him. I leaned back on the bed and stare at that single window and think how I should have left when he gave me the opportunity. Now my fate is seal. Oh no I could've gotten far away from this place.
But I didn't because my heart is here. My heart is with him and yet he is pushing me away.
I'm confused.
I'm so embarrassed. My emotions are all over the place.
It really hurts. Why is he doing this?
Lars
I felt an over whelming sense of guilt. I feel horrible for telling Irina that she will be handed over to Sergei. It was wrong. I still don’t think I am worthy of her appreciation.
I wished I could take it back but what is done is done. I cannot change things now. I try convincing myself as I drive back to the mansion. Suddenly I stop the car.
I step out of the vehicle.
The air is still I stare up into the buildings and wonder what my life would be like going forward. I needed some time away together my thoughts. I palm my face and then I scream out as though in pain this searing pain hits me like a bolt of lightning, one I can't stop. My entire body feels so wrong. I scream out what have I done?
I sigh. I pushed away the best thing that ever happened to my in my life. I let her go.
What is wrong with me?
I swallow.
I wonder what would've been better if I'd never survived my childhood. Would things have been better if my life had been completely different? Perhaps if Dimitri had not been there in that exact moment, my life might've taken a different turn. Who knows if I'll be alive today to even talk about it?
All I do know is that, "I may never have met Irina and she would never been in my consciousness like this she would never been the woman that I dream about each and every night and yet I let her go because I couldn't handle it all. I couldn't believe it Lars he's always been in control why are you letting this woman be in charge of you now?
These thoughts run through my head like a bullet.
I swallowed and thought oh my gosh more I think about her I want to run back to her but then what purpose would that serve? She's probably not she doesn't belong to me yes she's been with me as well but do I really want to keep someone distant for another?
I need time to think about the consequences of my actions. How can I give her back without her virginity intact. Dimitri will have my head.
I lean against my vehicle pondering my actions. It scares the shit out of me. I cannot believe I am falling for her this way. No woman has gotten to me like this before.
I am always in control but now every moment of everyday is filled with thoughts of her. I keep on thinking about spending every waking moment with her and in her. I clench my fist and slam it on my Maybach.
Falling in love means giving up that control. What would that make me? Soft? I run my fingers through my hair. This is not going to work. I must hand her over to Dimitri. That is what I am meant to do. I cannot change my destiny, even though now it seems as though fate has other ideas.
I start walking away from my car, not knowing exactly where I was headed. I just kept on walking.
Honk! The sound of a vehicle almost hitting me jolted me back from my thoughts.
“Fuck it man! Watch it! Do you want to fucking die?” The driver cursed as he sped away. Stunned I stared at the vehicle until it was out of sight. Fucking hell, why am I here? I should head back to her. Just then, my device buzzed. I picked up the call, it was Blake.
“Hey man just wanted to remind you have 24 hours to bring her over. Hmm I bet she is a great fuck! Just be sure to keep her pussy in tact, you know that is what the boss wants from his women. Don’t worry when she is discarded, we can both have her then.”
I clenched my fist and hung up on him. It was not worth my time responding to his insults. I got back in my car and drove fast swerving between the lanes to get back to Irina!
I walked into the mansion thinking she would be all round the home but she was in her room. I swallow. My chest rises and falls watching her staring up at me. Fucking hell, she was so beautiful there was no denying that fact. She looks up at me and drops her face. I start thinking about what next to do. Should I tell her everything or should I keep things to myself?
“Irina…” I said.
“Lars,” She says waiting patiently to hear what else I had to say. Her chest rises and falls. She takes in a deep breath and exhales. I open my mouth to tell her the truth. I am in love with her. But then a voice within my brain says no. do not say anything. Do not reveal the truth man. You have a lot to loose and nothing to gain if you do.
I take in a deep breath and say. “You have to get ready. We have…” She gets of the bed, moves towards me and yells.
“Why wouldn’t you say it?” She asks. I feign ignorance which fucking pisses her off further. She is angry with me. She steps up, clenches her fist and begins hitting my chest. The sexual tension between us is hard to ignore. I cup her face and crush my lips onto hers. She leans forward and grabs my cock. I drop my hands and move them lower grabbing her ass. I lift her up and strip her bare.
“I want you to fuck me hard. You know you want to.” She yells out. “You know what you need to do. Forget that sensual stuff!” She tugs my shirt and the buttons come undone. She wraps her legs around my hips. She is angry and the sex is hot and passionate. I strip top off, clasp her breasts together and began sucking both her nipples as one. She moans and rolls her hips on my hard erection. I stay sucking her breasts . I carry her over to the garage. I was going to fuck her the way she desired hard on top of my damn Maybach. I place her not the hood of my car. My lips slide off her breasts and move lower, lower and lower until my mouth hits her glistening intimate curls.
Her juices roll out of her tight wet slit and down her inner thighs. I follow the trail licking from her foot all the way up her inner thighs until my lips meet her engorged clit. I waste not time in sucking and flicking my tongue on her soaked pussy. Her intimate curls tickles may nose. I slid my fingers up and twirl her nipples between my thumb and my index finger while flicking, sucking and greedily tasting her delicious pussy.
She moans and writhes on top the metal. She clamps my head between her thighs hard, I could barely breathe. But I was not going to stop. I kept on going until she screamed and released her pussy juice like a fucking burst pipe all over my face. I lap as much as I can, arise to my feet, unzip my pants. I fist my cock and slam into her climaxing pussy. Her pussy lips clamps hard over my shaft. I start jackhammering into her royal pussy like a freaking machine. I am unstoppable. She runs her fingers along my back. I am still fully clothed but my clothes are drenched from our angry hot sex. She lifts her hips up fucking me right back. She digs her nails into my back as I move in and out of her in relentless hard strokes.
She screams over and over again as she cums hard soaking up my dick. I growl, slap her ass cheeks.
“I am fucking yours!” I yell out as sweat beads drip down my face.
“No, I am fucking yours!” She yells back in clenching her pussy lips hard on my organ.
I massage her ass cheeks and slam into her dripping hole, She whimpers and I jerk a final time bumming hard with a shuddering cry. I topple over her panting hard. Why the fuck is she in my head this way? Why is she making me feel things I did not know was possible?