“So? They might not be exactly the same, but no one threw her out.”
“Because she’s Zoey’s twin sister, and Zoey’s married to Hanger, the goddamn president.”
Chayser’s hands drop onto my shoulders. “And you’ve known Hanger your entire fuckin’ life! That’s gotta count for something, right? He wants you to come back.”
My eyes narrow. “Did he send you here?”
“No, he didn’t send me, but he knew I was coming. He wants to see you. I came for my own selfish reasons.”
“You’re not gonna leave until I agree, are you?”
A smirk forms on his face. “Nope.”
“Fine. I’ll go.”
“Great, you can ride with me.”
“I can take my car.”
“Nope, you’re riding with me.”
“And you’re making me remember why you guys are damn annoying.” Even though he can be frustrating—truthfully, they all can—I’ve missed the playful banter between Chayser and me.
“Why’s that?”
“Because you’re all damn demanding.”
“We get what we want, don’t we? Let’s go.” He takes my hand in his, lacing our fingers together. Staring down at our joined hands, I don’t try to pull them apart. “Shug?”
I shake my head, trying to figure out what exactly I’m feeling about this. “Let’s go.”
“What are we doing here?” I ask Chayser once he shuts his Harley off. This isn’t the clubhouse. He’s brought me somewhere out of the city with a pond and nothing except the moon and stars shining. The only sounds we hear are the crickets chirping and frogs croaking.
He climbs off his bike only to straddle it in the opposite direction to face me. “Everyone needs a little peace once in a while, Shug. Whether it’s from the noise that surrounds you, in here…” his finger pokes my temple, “Or here,” his hand presses against my chest, where my heart has begun to gallop.
Reaching out, my fingers run over the beard he’s grown since I last saw him. “You’re letting your beard grow?” I pull on some of his whiskers.
“Yeah, thought I might try something different.” He smiles, his perfect white teeth shining brightly. His lips fall as his eyes search mine. “Do you love him?”
My brows pull down in confusion. “Do I love who?”
He sighs heavily. “The cowboy.”
“How do you—”
“I saw you that day…the day he left. I was parked across the street, and you were so entranced, you didn’t even notice me watching. I saw you kiss him, and I saw the tears you shed when he drove away. I waited until you were in the apartment before I came up to get you. Why did you let him kiss you? You’ve never let me or anyone else do that.”
It’s my turn to sigh. “Cody came into my life unexpectedly, but it was the best weekend of my life, Chayser. He gave me butterflies and made my heart skip beats. He made me feel things I’ve never felt before, and it was only one weekend. I can’t even explain it. I fell hard and fast for him, even with the understanding he wouldn’t be staying. I didn’t want any what-ifs with him. That’s why I asked him to kiss me. Do I love him?” I shrugged. “I thought I did.”
“But why him? Why not me or anyone else?”
“You’re my friend, Chayser. However, with you, and any of the others, it feels like this is what I’m supposed to do, not necessarily what I want. You know I’ve always lived at the clubhouse, but you don’t know why.”
“Then tell me. Open up to me, Shug.”
I allow my gaze to drift to the setting sun. “My mother was a club whore. She didn’t know who my father was because she was passed around, but she knew he was one of the members of the Satan’s Sinners. When my mom told Bulk she was pregnant with me, he gave her the room I used to stay in. He was a good guy like that, but it always came with a price. Fast forward to when I was only a young girl. My mom’s favorite song was Fancy by Reba McEntire.” My eyes cut to Chayser. “Have you ever heard it?”
He shakes his head. “I don’t listen to much country music.”
I nod and continue, “It’s about a woman who has nothing, and she tells her daughter to be nice to the gentlemen, and they’ll be nice to her. I still remember the stench of liquor and the smoke on her breath as she would bend in front of me and say, ‘Fancy’s mom sure was a wise woman.’ At eight-years-old, my mom would dress me up and sit me in front of a mirror while she brushed my hair and put makeup on my face. She would tell me, ‘Look at you, Shug. You’re so pretty, when you grow up, the men are going to love you. I want you to always remember to be good to them, Shug, and they’ll be good to you.’” A tear trails down my cheek, and I angrily wipe it away. “I didn’t want to be like her. But I ended up just like her, only without her addictions.”
Chayser raises his hands, his thumbs attempting to help dry my falling tears. “What happened to her? I’ve never seen her at the club.”
The fury I’ve held onto for all these years, surfaces. “No, because when I was fifteen, she stole from the club and left me there with nowhere to go. Bulk said I could stay,” I hiss.
“That’s why you were there even though you didn’t want to be?”
I nod. “That’s a part of it.”
I don’t see pity or sorrow in his gaze, only understanding. That’s one thing I love about Chayser; he doesn’t judge. “What’s the other part?”
“I don’t want to talk about it. We should go to the clubhouse.”
“Yeah, I guess.” Thankfully, he doesn’t push me any further, and I wait for him to get situated on his bike. The Harley rumbles to life, and once again, the wind is blowing across my face.
Chayser throws his arm over my shoulders. “You ready?”
“No.” I bite my lip nervously. “But, I’m here.” I stare at the door as Chayser opens it. Smoke filters through the bar, and music screams through the speakers. Chayser pulls me along with him, stepping over that threshold and into the world of a motorcycle club.
Lilly and one of the other girls pass by. I don’t recognize her, so she must be new. Lilly rolls her eyes. “The bitch is back. Guess she couldn’t hack it with the civilians,” she sneers.
I take a step forward, ready to attack, but Chayser’s hold on my shoulders tightens. “Ignore her.”
“Shug!” Ever runs up to us and throws her arms around my neck. “I didn’t think you were coming around anymore.”
I hug her back just as tightly. “I didn’t think I was either.”
Writer stands next to his Ol’ Lady. “Good to see you, Shug.”
“You too, Writer.”
“Why the fuck is this cunt here?” I close my eyes at the sound of Ghost’s voice. I take a couple deep breaths.
“Ghost.” Chayser’s tone is full of warning.
Hanger steps up. “She’s here because I fuckin’ want her here. You have a problem with that, Brother?” The last word brother is ground out through Hanger’s clenched teeth.