I turn to look at the man who made all of this possible, the same man who took my heart. He doesn’t own all of it, and he knows I don’t feel whole, but he accepts it. I’ll never ask the others to give back what they took from me, how could I? In the end, I gave it freely. Knowing when I walked out of their lives, it wasn’t only myself I was hurting.
I wish I could look across and see Emmet and Thallon. But it’s no longer in the cards for me. I have three out of the five, and although I’m not complete, I’m not broken either. I still don’t feel whole after what I did, but I’m learning to live with my actions, and the decisions I have made.
Tucker wraps his arms around me, and I press back into him. I still can’t believe that he bought me this place. I didn’t want to accept, but he’s not the easiest man to refuse, especially when he put it in my name straight away.
“You look good enough to eat,” he says against my neck, before biting down.
“That’s what the pastries are for,” I moan out, glad that we haven’t opened up yet.
“I’d rather just eat you.” He licks my neck, and my hand threads through his hair, holding him in place. Covering his hair with flour.
“I second that,” Aeron says from his seat, and I can’t react, too lost in the feel of Tucker.
“Um, Little Zero?” Sin stares at the door, and my head snaps up, as my blood leaches from me. What is he doing here?
“Do you want me to let him in?” he asks, his hand hovering by the lock, as I stand here, frown in place.
“Y-yes o-of course,” I stutter, as he flicks the lock and opens the door, and the oxygen is sucked from the room as Emmet steps inside.
The past year has been leading to this moment, but I had all but lost hope that he would ever turn up. I didn’t blame him, didn’t stop it from hurting though. I thought it was bad enough when I saw my mom after I left the Academy. There were so many tears, and I fell apart. Poppy is getting better, and I gave my mom enough money that she would never have to worry about working herself into an early grave again. I see them regularly, whenever I get up there, or they can get down to see me. Things are different now, not with my mom, but Poppy. She’s still my sister though, and I love her. I always will, no matter what happened in the past, I will always love her, and be there for her.
Even with all that though, I feel more nervous now, standing here looking at Emmet, than I did talking through all that.
“Star.” His voice seems deeper somehow, more rough, he even looks older. I guess losing your father and being put in charge can do that to a person.
“You read the letter.” It’s all I can think to say. Why am I shaking and why are my palms so sweaty?
“I read it the very next day.” My mouth drops open, as he steps closer until there’s only a counter between us. “I didn’t understand it. One word, Luna, that’s all I got. I was so fucking angry that my letter from you could be summed up in one word that had no meaning other than a surname.” His eyes narrow as he runs a hand along his jaw.
I look at the others, and don’t miss their smirks. No doubt because I poured my heart and soul out to them, but not Em. Because I couldn’t. I tried to sum everything up, but every time I tried, I brought up his father. How I stabbed him with a shard of glass, so instead I gave him the name of what I hoped would one day be my bakery. Knowing that if he didn’t push Maddox away, that he would tell him exactly where to find me. And he wouldn’t have done that if Emmet was still the same guy who wanted to keep me to himself. Like Arthur did.
“Maddox asked me how I felt, so for once, I actually asked myself, and I told him. Now, I’m here to tell you.” He rests his hands on the counter as he leans forward, not even sparing Tucker a glance, who still has his arms around me, lending me the support I desperately need. “I’m fucked, Luna Carter, in more ways than one. The only time this crazy world makes any sense is when you’re around. I’m not the type of guy to spill his heart and to wish for things, especially with an audience.” He looks at the others, but I think he knows they’re not going anywhere. Not to witness him do this, but to be here for me. “I didn’t know what love was supposed to feel like, and when you said it, I didn’t believe you even did. How could someone like you love me? Then I figured it out when you were taken and everything felt a little bit better. So, when you said no, I spiralled. I couldn’t understand how you could claim to love me if you could say no to marrying me.” He presses his hand over my mouth gently when I go to speak, and shakes his head.
“It took me a long time to realize that I couldn’t make you happy, a little bit sure, but not completely. It’s when I realized this whole arrangement made a little more sense. You weren’t demanding that we share you because you wanted to eat your cake and have it too, it’s because it hurt too much to choose between us.” He strokes my cheek as he leans over the counter, lining our faces up. “I don’t know if I can do this forever, but I’m willing to try. If I decide I can’t, I’ll walk away, I won’t demand that you give up four guys, just so I can keep you. Although, I’m not getting involved in any orgies. I’ll end up punching something, or someone.” He glared a little and I laugh softly.
“Why not? Threesomes are fun. Hey, Little Zero?” He waggles his brows at me, and Em glares at Sin.
“It would be three, not four. Thallon never came here and last I heard, he went back to Australia.” Tucker kisses my neck as I try to keep my head straight.
“I wasn’t expecting that, but okay. So, can I stay Star? Our Star.” He keeps his lips a whisper breadth from mine, and I close the distance. He kisses me like it’s the first time and last time all rolled into one. As though he’s been starving for so long, and now he’s finally full.
“So, what do we do now?” Sin asks, as Tucker and I step out from behind the counter and join them on the other side.
“We get this place ready, and we start to enjoy our lives. I don’t want to waste another minute, not now that I have you.” I look between all four of them, four fifths of my heart are with me and I realize that this is probably the most complete I’ll ever get to be.
People search a whole lifetime for one moment of happiness, pure, unhindered by life’s cruelty. A love that is selfless, and builds you up instead of tearing you down. I don’t know how I managed to be lucky enough to find it with four, but I will never take any of them for granted. Maybe this won’t last, it could all fall apart in the blink of an eye, but I’m not going to worry about what ifs. I’m going to live in the here and now and handle the future when it becomes the present, and not a minute sooner.
Epilogue
Luna
It’s been a strange year, the bakery is going strong, and Tucker is helping me to handle the legal side of things. If I didn’t have any understanding of business then I’d still be okay, seeing as Emmet is more than happy to talk me through anything and everything. I don’t know how I got so lucky, but I’m glad we managed to find a way to the place were in now.
Maddox comes down every holiday, and D and Jake only live up the road. She said it’s because she fell in love with Savannah, but I think it’s really because every time it came to say goodbye, we’d both end up in enough tears to refill the ocean. Exaggeration sure, but not much of one.