“Oh, are you wanting to do this when you leave here?” I ask.
“I want to be a teacher, though more kids than college age. Seriously, I’m happy to help. Come on, let’s get you caught up.” She opens a text book and I pull out my own, before we get to work.
Daria and I are eating lunch as Thallon walks past to claim his seat at the ‘head’ table.
“Hey, I saw that,” D says, with a slight purse to her lips.
“Saw what?” I ask with a nervous chuckle, as I look at her.
“You were watching him,” she whispers against my ear, and my cheeks heat.
“No, I wasn’t, no more than I watch anyone else.” I turn back to my food as my shoulders pull up.
“Ahuh, I’m not buying it. We will be discussing this further, girl, mark my words.” She has that look on her face. The one that says I can argue all I want, but I’ve already lost.
We finish our food and walk out of the mess hall, she grabs onto my arm and drags me up the stairs and into her room.
“Right, spill. What is going on with you and Thallon? Aren’t you supposed to hate him, after everything he’s put you through?” She pops her arms on her hips, as she narrows her eyes at me.
“Who says I don’t?” Is that really the best I can come up with?
“I don’t know. Maybe you do hate him, but that doesn’t mean you weren’t undressing him with your eyes and giving him the ‘fuck me’ stare.” She lifts one brow at me as her head tilts slightly to the left.
No doubt my jaw is going to start aching soon from how wide it’s hanging open. I can’t believe she just said that.
“I was not looking at him like that, Jesus, D. What do you take me for?”
“I was watching you. Your pupils dilated and your breathing became more shallow. Seriously, Homegirl, what is going on?” She sounds as though she’s starting to get annoyed with me, and I don’t want that.
“I don’t like Thallon, okay? But…” I move away and take a seat on her sofa. She comes over to me, but she doesn’t sit down.
“But?”
“A few weeks back, we got drunk on tequila and fooled around a little. It didn’t go too far, and I hated myself for it, but every time I see him, I remember the way he looks without his shirt on. Plus, he’s been nicer to me lately. He’s been taking me to a fight ring to get rid of my frustration, and he even helps me bake. I know he’s still an ass around everyone else, but he’s not so bad when it’s just us.” I tug on the ends of my hair as I stare at the wall. “I’m attracted to him, and he is my claimer. Would it really be so bad if we slept together?” I sink my teeth into my bottom lip as she gawps at me.
“Oh, Lu, you cannot be serious. You wouldn’t have screwed Shane, so why Thallon?”
“I don’t know,” I all but shout, as I drag my hand over my face. “I’m just curious. I mean, it doesn’t have to mean anything, isn’t that what this place is about? Meaningless sex, without all of those pesky emotions.”
“Homegirl, you know I love you, so what I’m about to say comes from a place of love and not judgement.” She grips my face and forces me to meet her eyes. “You can’t do meaningless. You fall, and you fall hard. How many guys have you slept with?”
“Five.” I glance off to the side and she draws my attention back to her.
“How many of those do you love? And if not love, how many of those are you close to falling for?”
“I love two of them, but that’s only because I won’t allow myself to fall any deeper for the others. Otherwise, the answer would have been five,” I whisper, and I hate that I’m starting to see her point.
“There is nothing wrong with one night stands, friends with benefits, and meaningless sex. But it doesn’t work when you wear your heart on your sleeve. If you sleep with him, you’re going to fall. I mean, you fell for Emmet and he played you for the first year we were here. I think it’s a done deal. I’m here no matter what happens, but don’t sleep with him just because you’re curious. If he orders you to, then there isn’t much you can say, but don’t make the first move. Stop trying to see the good in everyone, because sometimes, the good just isn’t there.” She sits beside me and pulls my head down to her shoulder.
The thing is, even though she may be right, she is wrong about him. He does have a good side, and he has more than enough reason to not want to show it.
“It doesn’t matter anyway, he isn’t interested. He said himself that he finds me abhorrent. Don’t worry, D, it’s never going to happen.”
Thallon is sitting on my sofa when I walk in, and I’m too scared to look at him in case I give him the ‘bedroom’ eyes.
“Say ‘thank you, Thallon’.” He smirks at me, and my brow furrows at his strange choice of words.
“Thank you for what?”
“I got us out of celebrating Christmas with Arthur and his kids. You’re coming back with me to Aussie. Sun, sea, and surfing. You liked jumping out of a plane, let's see how you handle a board.” He links his fingers and then rests his hands behind his head.
“That’s… great. Thank you.” I don’t really know why I’m supposed to be thanking him, but at least he’s still in a friendly mood.
“Trust me, you don’t want to spend Christmas with Arthur. It’s far from fun. Plus, it will be awkward for you seeing as you won’t have any gifts to open or give out.”
“I think that rings true no matter where you take me,” I point out as I move over to my kitchen area and pull out the ingredients to make gingerbread.
“More baking? What do you want me to do?” He moves to stand behind me, and I’m more aware than I should be of his close proximity.
“You don’t h-have to h-help,” I gulp as he leans around me, and takes the wooden spoon from my hand.
“I want to,” he breathes against the shell of my ear, and shivers course down my spine.
“O-okay, mixing duty, p-please.” I duck out from under the cage of his arms, and he smirks as I grab out the sucky sweets, rolling pin, and cookie cutters. I can’t stop smiling as I grab one of the knives that Tucker got me, and although, he gives me a strange look, he doesn’t say anything.
“How are you feeling now that you know your sister came here?”
“I don’t know. I guess it makes sense, with them never actually mentioning the name of the college or the way she just came home one day, quiet and withdrawn. Even though it’s her fault, and she didn’t have any right to be that way after all the trouble she caused. I would love to know what happened when she went off to Princeton though, what caused her to go into herself. Something must have happened, but I don’t know what. Not that you want to hear about any of this, considering,” I dust the surface with flour, to get it ready for the dough as he stares at me.
“I’m not going to hold her actions against you anymore, but I’m still going to be a nasty bastard in front of everyone else.” He stops looking at me, and it’s my turn to stare at him.