“What about when it’s only you and me?” Why is my voice so soft, damn it?
“I guess it depends on how things go, but I don’t think you’ll be stuck with me for much longer. I’m sure I can be nice until then.” He gives me a wink and all of me goes red.
Seriously, why do I have to have a crush on Thallon? What is wrong with me?
“Right, it’s mixed. Now what?”
“It needs to be formed into a ball and then rolled out so we can cut out the shapes. I’ll make the house and you can make the people if you want.” I pass him the cutters as I take the mixture and it isn’t long before we start the construction process. With stained glass windows, of course.
32
Unrequited Lust
Luna
I sleep for the first whole day we’re in Australia. I knew there was a chance of jet lag, but I wasn’t expecting it to be this bad. I’m glad we’re not staying with his parents, as I would have felt so rude for sleeping so long, but at least I feel a little more refreshed now. I’m still tired, but not enough to want to spend another day in the land of nod.
I stretch my arms up above my head, and spot a glass of water waiting on the bedside table. It warms my heart, and then I have to shake that feeling off because it shouldn’t. No, I’m allowed to be attracted to him, it’s human nature. But it can’t go any further. I can’t be okay with what he did. The times he made me beg for scraps like an animal, stripping outside for all to see, and sitting on my hands and knees in a degrading outfit while I cleaned the bathroom with nothing more than a toothbrush.
Maybe that’s a good thing though. Surely it means I could never fall for him like I did Emmet or… Tom. Or the way I nearly gave my heart and soul to Tucker, right until I found out Sir was forcing him to marry Rachel. I could easily fall for Aeron, if I didn’t feel so jaded, and then, there’s Darius. I haven’t had any chance to be with him, and it’s hard, but I know he wants to explore this unspeakable thing between us once I’m free. I want that to, I just don’t know how I could ever choose between them.
Maybe I wouldn’t have to choose.
What a ridiculous thought. Emmet is too possessive to ever share me full time, it wouldn’t work. You could make it work. Right, I need to get up before my sleep addled brain makes a fool out of me.
The air is hot and balmy, so I throw on a pair of pink cotton shorts and a white cami. I’m not sure where Thallon will be, but considering his back garden looks out onto the beach, he could be there.
I step out into the hallway and walk down into the living room. I like that there are so many windows, as the views are beautiful. I don’t know what part of Australia we are in, but I’m a little in awe of it all.
I go into the kitchen and pour myself a cup of coffee. Then have a look around his fridge to see what I can make. I am starving, my stomach is howling like a pack of dogs.
“There’s bacon and eggs, and fresh bread in bin.”
I look up to see Thallon standing in the doorway of the back door. A surfboard is propped under his arm, his wet hair is slicked back of his face, and water travels down his bare chest to the waistband of his board shorts. I swallow hard as my eyes snap up to his, I don’t doubt he watched me checking him out, but he isn’t saying anything.
“How w-was the w-water?”
“Perfect, we’ll definitely get you out there once you’re more awake. Don’t want you taking to the waves if you’re not entirely with it.” He stands his board up against the wall and moves to lean against the counter beside me.
“Why would you put fresh bread in the bin?”
“A bread bin, I’m not going to throw perfectly good food away.” He smirks and my cheeks flame as I pull the bacon out of the fridge.
“Are you hungry?” My traitorous eyes travel up his length again, and there’s laughter in his.
“Sure, I could eat. You alright doing that, while I go get cleaned up?”
“Yes, sure. Of course, you do that.” Great, and now I’m rambling. Please, just kill me now.
“Am I making you nervous, Little… Luna?”
“You don’t call me those names anymore.” It comes out softly, and he rolls his bottom lip between his teeth. I can’t stop watching it, and I don’t know what’s gotten into me.
Probably just horny.
Great, now I’m making myself embarrassed. This is going to be a long ass trip.
“I’ll save it for when we have an audience,” he shrugs, but he isn’t smiling anymore.
He gives me a long, hard look, before he walks off. It isn’t long before I hear the shower running, and I don’t think he’s closed the door.
I grasp onto the counter until my knuckles turn white, before I start making breakfast. I really need to get a grip, it’s ridiculous. Unrequited lust is not fun, it’s just easier than unreturned love.
December twenty-first and I’m standing on a beach, or rather, on a surfboard on the beach. Thallon won’t let me go in the water until he’s happy that my stance is right, he won’t even let me paddle. I understand it though, I don’t have a clue what to do out there. And after what happened to his girlfriend, I’m not in any rush to be let loose on the waves.
“We’re having dinner with my parents tonight, that way you’re not meeting them for the first time on Christmas Eve.”
I look over at him, and it’s kind of sweet that he’s doing that. Although, I’m going to be as nervous as hell meeting his parents.
“Okay, sounds good.” I step off the board and move to the edge of the sand, revelling in the way the water laps at my feet.
“Amazing, isn't it?”
“It is. Why do you love it so much? After… Well, after everything.” My voice drops low, as I look up at him through my lashes my hands curl around my stomach, as I take him in.
The way his hair glistens under the sunlight, and the blonde that peeks through at the roots. It’s the first time I’ve noticed it, and I can’t help but wonder why he even dyes it at all.
“The sea is… unforgiving. It’s home to so many creatures, some beautiful, and others terrifying. It gives them shelter, and helps them to survive, but it can take a life just as easily. It’s dark and light all rolled into one. I admire it, despite what it took from me. It also gave me back peace and understanding. The sea didn’t decide to steal her from me, it isn’t a sentient thing. How can I blame it? It’s the same reason I can’t hold you accountable for Poppy’s actions. You weren’t there, therefore, you’re not to blame.” He kneels at the water's edge and runs his fingers through it.
His words resonate within me, I’m not sure what part of me they call to, but something recognizes it, and claims them as their own.
“Can we go for a swim, please?” I uncurl my arms and step forward slightly, right as he grips me by the hips and lifts me off the ground.
I shriek, as he charges forward, and it isn’t long before I’m flying through the air, and sinking beneath the water. I rise up spluttering, as he laughs whole heartedly. I cup my hands before throwing the water his way, and it isn’t long before a fight breaks out.