I flinched when I felt Johnno’s hand on my shoulder and again when it rubbed a circle on my back. I just blinked, staring at the floor for a moment, and felt it—that animal comfort of having someone reach out when you’re hurting and try to soothe you. I felt his fingers dig in, forcing the muscles to relax beneath them.
“One bite after another.”
I looked up to see Vervain had put a plate of biscuits on the coffee table. I shook my head.
“No thanks, I can’t—”
“Not them, your problems. You can look at the scale of it all, and it’ll crush you. Of course it will, Kira. You’re talking about fundamentally changing the world. So don’t think of it that way. Think about the next bite. What are you going to sink your teeth into first?”
It all came rushing up, all of it—the trials, the guys, the war, my parents. It didn’t want to form a nice orderly line and wait its turn. They all wanted to see the manager now. But that hand kept rubbing, anchoring me back into this room, on this tiny couch, with my friends. I turned to look at Johnno, who didn’t miss a beat as I shifted, still stroking me. Anchoring me to my consort.
“I need to do something about the dots, the war. What’s happening out there. What they’re doing…”
“Just stop there,” Vervain said. “How will you identify which? Who to help first?”
“The Sisterhood. They’re coming to meet again tomorrow to talk further about this. We’re going to develop a plan—”
“OK, so who’s going to do the fighting? Who’s kicking Rutherglen’s flunkies’ arses?” Vervain smirked when I looked at her blankly. She settled back onto the couch, putting her arm around Jen. “Right now, in this room, you’ve got a powerful ice wielder.” Jen flushed at that. “A bloody powerful earth wielder, if what I’m feeling off Johnno is right.” He looked down at his hands. “Me? I’m not great with elemental powers, but I’m scrappy.” Her fingers flexed, Jen’s covering them moments later. “You’ve got a sentinel.”
“Mark was always amazing as a bodyguard. He’s a crack shot, and I’ve seen him take down overzealous fans with little effort,” Jen said.
“You’ve got a hot, hot harem, each one with elemental affinities,” her lover added. “Including a millennia old fire wielder. And you’re an avatar.” She paused for a moment, waiting for me to catch up. “You’re strong, stronger than any team deserves to be.”
“You’ve got this, Kira,” Jen said. “We’ve got this.” She looked across at Vervain, who nodded in response, the two of them sharing a moment before leaning in for a kiss. “I’ve watched Dave brutalise people my whole life, including me.” Her hands balled in her lap until Vervain took one, but when she looked up at me, her eyes burned with intensity. “I knew about those kids. Jake and…” She swallowed hard, then shook her head. “If he wants a war, let’s bring one to him. But we need to be smart, be strategic. He’s a master of this shit. He was raised at the knee of a fae general, ate machinations and intrigue for breakfast. Kira, you’re right—appearing out of the walls was cool but dumb. I’m glad you did it, but…if we’re gonna do this, we need to think long and hard, pool expertise.”
“We’re in,” Johnno said, our eyes jerking to him. “Sorry, I’ve been quiet as I heard that blokes always try to take over the conversation. I figured what you needed was someone to listen.” He looked away. “Look, the guys, we’re in, or we will be when you bring this idea to them.”
“Liam?”
“Sticking it to Rutherglen is his angle. He’s not quite the fuck you think he is.” He watched my eyebrow curl upwards. “Yeah, all right, he is, but no one’s got a hate boner for Rutherglen like Liam. Well, except for you ladies.”
“So we do this?” Jen said. “Because boy, do I have some intel for you.”
“We do this,” I said with a nod, still feeling the idea around in my head. It felt good, right, which made me instantly suspicious.
“Now what about your family?”
Vervain followed us out when we said our goodbyes. Johnno and I were going to gather the guys, put things on the table, see how they felt about this, then grab the girls and talk to Ashanti and Duke. I also had to talk to Aen about my family.
I blinked as we emerged out into the hallway, Aragide seeming brighter, lighter in response. I wasn’t sure why.
“Jump in the bath. I’ll be there soon,” Vervain said as she shut their front door behind her. She paused for a minute, hand still on the doorknob behind her, like she was afraid Jen would come rushing out or something. “Look, I just wanted to have a quick chat with you away from Jen.”
I frowned. “Um, OK.”
“I…” It was weird seeing the usually brazen woman reduced to nervously shifting on her feet, her eyes roaming everywhere but missing us. “I want to ask Jen to marry me.” My eyebrows jerked up. “I know it’s rushing things. We’ve been together for a while now, but always in a clandestine way. We’ve only really had the chance to live as a couple during the tour. I hated that you got forced onto the bus, Kira, but goddess, I loved it too. Just having her to myself, soaking in her, drowning in her.” Her unusual violet eyes stared blindly, seeing it all over again.
“It doesn’t matter, the time,” Johnno said, coming to stand by me. “You just know. She’s it for you. Irrespective of who else enters your life, your eyes are always gonna be drawn to her. You’ll always reach for her, want her near, need to hear her voice, no matter what she’s telling you. Even if it hurts.” He swallowed, seeming to rethink what he was saying, but I saw the moment his shoulders squared, his head jerking back up. “Especially if it hurts. It’s her, always her.”
Vervain’s eyes shone as the tears formed, and her voice was a croak when she forced the words out.
“That’s it. I want to be smart about this, but I can’t. She’s my Jennifer. I told myself if we ever got out from under her father that I’d marry her. Used it as a fantasy to get through what went down at the estate, never thinking I’d have that chance. But I do now.” A single tear escaped, running down her cheek. “I do! Look, I can’t ask her dad for permission for obvious reasons, so, Kira, you’re gonna have to do. I want your permission to ask Jen to marry me. I’ll love her with everything I have, I promise. She’s my fucking world.”
I took a step backwards. Not because I disapproved or didn’t want this for Jen, because of course I did. Vervain was awesome, and even if she wasn’t, who Jen wanted was who she should have. Johnno’s eyes slid to me, taking it all in, nodding to himself before putting a hand on my shoulder.
“It’s OK. You don’t need to run. Everything will be OK.”
I nodded, desperately trying to pull myself together.
There was something so fucking naked about Vervain’s face as she described her relationship. Like of course it was. Anyone with two eyes could see the love between them, but stepping out here, just telling us about it, making this big gesture like it was no big thing? I struggled to get my head around it.