“I have a swear jar.”
I collapse against his chest. “You are so full of it.”
“Actually, because of the kids, we all do.”
I sit back up. “You’re not kidding.”
“Nope. We donate it to local charities including a local organization that helps out with supplying foster families with additional supplies.” He runs his hand over my jaw. “And this was before I knew about you. Imagine the donation they’re going to get now.” His smile tells me they’re going to get everything they need including the sun, the moon, and the stars.
Because that’s what he wants to give me.
I slide off his lap and reach for his hand. “I need you, Nick.”
Nick pushes to his feet before scooping me up into his arms. “Right here. In the grass.”
“Where I first lost my heart,” I murmur.
“Where I first found mine,” he counters.
“Yes.” Nick takes a few steps away from the stone and lowers me to the soft grass. Slowly, his hands on my body, we drain the sunlight from the sky and feed it into each other’s souls.
Because in the end, whether our hearts were lost or found, they’re one and the same.
Later that night in bed, I stir when I feel the badass Nick Cain drawing something on my back. At first, as I come out from the sexual slumber I fell into after Nick loved me to sleep, I wonder if he’s just drawing doodles.
Then I realize it’s the same pattern all over my body.
He’s writing his name followed by mine. Then he’s surrounding both by a giant heart.
Over and over.
Nick.
Maris.
And a heart.
I twist around to face him, and he blushes like a schoolboy caught passing a note in school. “My turn,” I say hoarsely. And directly over his heart, I repeat exactly what he did to me.
Nick.
Maris.
And over his heart, I lay my own. Then again, he’s had it for years.
I seal my drawing by placing my hand on top of the faint scratch marks I left. “It’s always been you. Even when it wasn’t,” I admit.
“I will never stop trying to erase the years between us. Every day. Every minute. I’ll never believe you’re here even though it’s always been you in my soul.” The low timber of his voice makes me catch my breath.
“Nick…” I need him to stop talking.
“Jed knew. He knew I was too afraid of you shoving me out the door and what would happen if you did. I’ve never held myself in high regard. Why on earth would a woman who had everything choose me?”
“I think the better question is why wouldn’t I?” I smooth my hand up his chest and up to his jaw. Forcing his chin down, I can see from the nightlights sprinkled around the room his eyes are damp. I kiss them closed, tasting the tang of salt on my lips.
Nick crushes me to him. “I may not deserve you, but I’m never letting you go.”
My eyes widen comically. “Is that a commitment?”
His face forms a fearsome scowl. “There will never be another after you, Maris.”
And his next words steal all my thoughts away.
“Instead of sailing on an ocean of pain, we’re finally on the same limitless journey. Together.”
My lips part. “Nick…” But I don’t get to say more because his lips are seeking mine.
And the mingled salt from our combined tears is sipped away in that kiss and the many others as we bind our bodies, hearts, and souls.
Nicholas
“I said let’s go to the best place in town for crab and this is where you take me?” I swallow a bite of the best crab chowder anywhere on the planet while sitting across from Maris at a table down near the water.
“Was I wrong?” Maris challenges me.
“Not in the slightest. What do they do? Drive the boats here and let them pick the best ones before they ship off the rest to the rest of us schmucks around the country?” Scraping up the ends of the soup with a piece of roll, I pick up the imposing king crab leg—my third. Using a plastic utensil that resembles something you’d yank out of a dental cleaning package, I quickly shuck the shell surrounding the crab meat. I’ve done this twice already, but the way it zips through the crustacean’s shell like melted butter still floors me. “Astounding. Every single time.” I shove the remains of the shell through a hole in the center of the table and offer Maris a piece of the third leg I’ve annihilated.
She shakes her head. “I’m stuffed. Besides, I’m enjoying watching you eat. Where do you put it?”
“Why do you think I work out as much as I do?”
“To maintain that ridiculous physique. Not to prepare yourself for a crab-eating food challenge, Nick.”
My ears perk up. “Is there such a thing?”
Maris’s body shakes as she tries to hold in her laughter. “I’m sure there is. That might be taking that ‘Champ’ title a bit too far, don’t you think?”
Suddenly the sweetness of the crab churns in my stomach when how in the blink of an eye I went from having my whole future planned with the woman across the table from me to reducing any kind of chance between us to ashes on the wind. Wiping my hand on the paper towels, I ask, “If you could go back in time and change something, what would it be?”
She waves my question away with a chunk of sweet crab. “That’s a question guaranteed to get me in trouble.”
“Why?”
“Because everything has repercussions, Nick. If I bring Jed back to life, would he have succeeded in his endeavors to get his friends together despite it being his most fervent wish? Would there be a Jennings and Kara? What about Kody and Meadow? If I were to be selfish enough to wish for more, how does that alter the future? Is it so much that love doesn’t happen?”
Even as I try to absorb her selflessness, she knocks me completely on my ass. “What if I were to change the night between us in Vegas? Would you have changed into the man you are, or would you still be Nick the Dick strutting around trying to see how many ways you could use woman to forget your past? Would you see your past might be a part of you but in a way that you’ve changed lives as a result of it? How many children’s lives have you changed as a result of the things that happened to you? Because of Vegas? That you wanted to prove you could be a better man?” She winks at me to take the edge off her words.
“I was a dick, Maris. I deserved to have you walk away.”
“Yes, you were. But again, the blame wasn’t entirely yours.”
“We’ll continue to disagree on that.”
She shrugs, unconcerned. God, I love her. Jed was right. I needed a little faith in my life, and Maris consistently offers it up. “That night changed both of us. We both spiraled, Nick. You weren’t the only one. And look where it led you. Would Razor be helping children or just training MMA fighters? You’re doing wonderful things.”
I can’t stop myself from reaching for her. My hands grip her forearm. “I find something more to love about you every minute I spend with you.”
“Good. But just for the record, I hope you plan to make it clear to your past harem you’re off-limits. This includes every female that crosses your path who volunteers to slide in between the sheets with you.” Maris picks up the shucking utensil. “Otherwise, I might have to use this to—”