“Where are we going?” I ask Lincoln.
“Here.” He shoves open a door to a small dressing room and pulls me through. After kicking it closed behind us, he pushes me against the wall, leaning forward and finding my lips with his.
Oh. My. God.
It’s almost too much for my brain to comprehend. The sensory overload from the show, and now kissing this guy after wanting him for so long almost makes me black out. But I sink into the moment, finally getting a chance to run my hands through his hair and breathing him in. His mouth is warm and soft, and I want to rip his clothes off on the spot.
I’ve dreamt about this moment for months. Come to think of it, this fantasy probably started fourteen years ago—although I never thought it would come true. And somehow, the reality is even better than what I conjured in my head. The feeling of his lips, and his hands brushing the sides of my face as he keeps my mouth on his. Lincoln seems to have absorbed all the energy from the crowd, and it’s now swirling between us…adrenaline, power, sex.
Eventually, we come up for air.
“Wow,” I say, smoothing down my shirt.
He laughs. “Yeah. Sorry. I couldn’t help myself. You looked so damn gorgeous tonight. I’m surprised I could remember all the words to my songs.”
“Ha-ha—really?”
“There’s something about you, Tash. I can’t get you out of my head. And I know it’s not ideal, considering all the crap I have going on, but I’m so happy you agreed to come see the show tonight.”
“Me, too.”
He looks at the door. “I suppose we should go back to Felix. I feel bad for leaving him.”
“Yeah.” I sneak in one last kiss and stroke his cheek. “You are such a beautiful man.”
He smiles happily. “I’m glad you think so.”
We head back out to the main backstage area and find Felix drinking red wine with the band.
“That was quick,” he jokes when he sees us.
“Buddy! Be cool, hey?” Lincoln says in a faux-stern voice.
“Sorry. God, you two are so hot together.”
I blush, revelling in every moment. If only Lincoln didn’t have all that recent baggage, I would be on cloud nine right now. As it is, I’m still on cloud eight. Eight-point-five, even.
Beau hands us a beer each, and we join them. I sit and watch while Lincoln breaks down the night’s show with his bandmates. In between, Felix and I chat about our own work.
Around midnight, Felix looks at his watch. “Are we going to move this party back to my place? There’s plenty of room for everyone to crash if you don’t want to go all the way back to the hotel afterwards.”
Lincoln raises an eyebrow at me as if to ask whether I’m okay with that.
“Whatever you guys want to do is fine,” I say.
“Then let’s go. We have our limo waiting out the back.”
I almost laugh out loud. “A limo?”
“Yeah, I know. It’s a bit cliché, but I think Max wanted us to play the part.”
We head down a side alley where a proper black stretch is waiting for us. Lincoln opens the door for me. I slide in, not sure whether to feel like as much of a cliché as the limo or not.
There’s champagne inside, and Felix immediately opens it. He seems right at home in this kind of environment. But then I suppose being an in-demand artist would occasionally provide you with experiences like this.
Lincoln sits next to me and whispers in my ear. “Are you okay? This isn’t freaking you out?”
“I’m good. Thanks.”
Felix hands me a glass of bubbly and pours one for himself before passing the bottle around. The other guys forgo glasses and drink straight from the bottle. When it gets to Lincoln, he waves it away. “No, I’m all right for now.”
I make a mental note of his refusal. I have no idea if he’s had anything else other than the one beer tonight, but I wonder if he’s trying to show me that there’s not going to be a repeat of what happened after the last show.
Back at the house, Felix pumps up some Empire of the Sun on his expensive sound system and sets us all up with more drinks. Lincoln agrees to have another beer but refuses anything stronger.
Felix whispers in my ear. “How are you coping, being the only female here?”
“I didn’t notice until just now, but I think I’ll manage,” I say dryly.
The other members of the band all go outside to smoke. Whether it’s weed or cigarettes, I have no idea, but neither of them appeal to me. I stay with Felix and Lincoln inside.
Felix turns to me. “Okay, Tash, since you and I are now practically besties, I think we need to share more of our personal histories. Tell me how you lost your virginity.”
I snort. “You don’t mess around, do you?”
“Nope. But if you need a moment to gather your thoughts, I’ll go first.” He doesn’t wait for me to reply before continuing. “So, I was sixteen, and everyone already knew I was gay. Thank God my parents were cool and the people at school who counted were supportive. Anyway, it was the end of the year, and we’d all just finished exams, so we went down to the beach to let loose. It wasn’t far from here, actually.” He smiles wistfully. “Someone suggested Spin the Bottle, and everyone decided we had to play by strict rules, so guys could kiss guys and girls could kiss girls. And then Matt Lockheart, the hottest guy in school, spun the bottle and got me. I was expecting him to back out or just give me a kiss on the cheek, but oh my God, it was the hottest thing ever. It turned out Matt was gay, but still in the closet. Until that night. Needless to say, things progressed very quickly.”
“Aw, that’s sweet,” I say. “Were you together for a while?”
“For about a year afterwards,” he confirms. “And then his parents decided to move to France, and Matt had to go with them because he wasn’t yet eighteen. We tried to stay in touch, but it was hard. And then he met some fancy French guy and forgot about me.”
“Still. At least your first was someone you really cared about.”
“Yours wasn’t?” he asks.
I suddenly feel self-conscious, knowing Lincoln is listening. I glance at him, and he looks at me thoughtfully.
Ah, what the hell. “Not exactly. I was seventeen, and I liked this guy who worked at a nearby café. He was older than me and so cool. I basically went broke buying coffee there every day for six months until I worked up the courage to ask him out.”
“The guy was stupid if he didn’t realise you were interested before that.”
“I think he did know, but he just wasn’t fussed either way. But for some reason, that made me want him more. Like I had to earn his affection.” I blush at this admission. I don’t usually tell this story, and I certainly would never tell it in front of a guy I’m trying to impress.
Felix nods. “We’ve all been there.”
“He agreed to meet me at a restaurant that night since I was too young to get into a bar or nightclub. And then he proceeded to get drunk before dragging me to his car so we could do it in the back seat. He finished. I didn’t. So maybe it only half counts.”
Felix laughs. “Again, we’ve all been there.”
I let out a puff of air. “I went for the bad guys for way too long.”