Dad was the first to speak, I think my mum was about to faint.
“Amy, what are you talking about?” He paused but I had nothing to say. “Please tell me this is some sort of joke because if you think I raised you to go…” he raised his voice.
“Jacob stop!” said Mum turning to me, “Amy, are you sure?”
“Is she sure? Even the fact that she might be … Amy explain yourself,” my dad shouted, I’d never seen him this angry and it scared me. I turned to Mum.
“I took a test, Mum, and it was positive, I mean maybe it is wrong, it could be wrong because…”
“Because what Amy,” snapped Dad, his head in his hands. I knew deep down he was just upset, not angry.
“Because,” I said quietly, “I’m on the pill and we always use protection, so maybe it got it wrong…”
“Always!” shouted Dad pushing himself up from the table, “You mean to say…” He couldn’t finish, I knew what he was thinking though. That his little girl was having sex, she didn’t just have it once. He left the room. The back door banged, shaking the house as he left.
Mum, Mike and I sat in silence. Mike still hadn’t said a word. I looked down at my plate; my barely touched vegetarian lasagne. I was so privileged, so loved, how could I have let this happen?
Mum let out a sigh breaking the silence.
“I’ll take you to the doctor tomorrow, not your dad obviously,” she shook her head as if erasing an image and stood up, taking our plates.
“Until then there’s no use in getting more upset or angry, and I shouldn’t have to even say this but not a word to anyone right Mike?” She looked at my brother sternly. He nodded and with that she walked into the kitchen.
“Amy,” Mike said so softly it was almost a whisper.
I looked up at him from behind my ash blonde hair that had fallen over my face.
He reached out his hand across the table, placing it on top of mine. He smiled. I felt a tear roll down my cheek. Mike gripped my hand tighter. We sat in silence, I don’t know how long we sat there for but suddenly a cold breeze rushed through the house and a booming voice echoed down from our hallway. Mike’s eyes opened. My stomach turned upside down. “Shit,” I said accidently out loud.
“Amy who’s that…” Mum’s voice trailed off as she walked back into the dining room just as Luke let himself in from the hall. Time seemed to freeze as Luke saw me sitting crying at the table with Mike’s hand on mine, he quickly took in my mum’s red eyes and was about to say something when the back door banged and my dad’s voice came clearly towards us
“Okay, we all just need to talk I’m sorry I was just in so much shock I mean you’re only seventeen but…” and with that my dad entered the room. I really shouldn’t have forgotten to tell Luke not to come over tonight.
“Luke,” said my dad sternly, crossing his arms over his chest. I knew it was taking a lot of self-control for him to not start shouting. But as I’ve said, my parents are good people, strong people, even in the most testing of times.
“Amy…” Luke looked like a bunny in headlights, I’d have laughed at him if the situation weren’t so serious.
“What’s going on, I’m sorry if I’ve interrupted a family thing I’ll go…” he started to turn around. My stupid mouth wouldn’t say the words my brain was articulating.
“No Luke,” Mum said suddenly, “Amy…” I knew Mum was torn between punishing me by making me tell Luke here and now and protecting me like she had been doing all my life. I stood up, this was my responsibility now.
“Luke,” I stepped towards him despite the look on my father’s face getting more and more stern.
“I took a test yesterday and there’s no easy way to say this Luke but … I think I’m pregnant.”
Silence, yet again. Luke’s face was completely blank. His hands swung dead beside him. I could feel the fire begin to bubble inside me. Have some kind or reaction at least god damn it.
“But I don’t understand…Amy what the fuck?” Luke said stepping away
“Luke please, I don’t know either but…” I went to be closer to him but he shook me off.
“No. What? Are you saying that?” He looked around quickly, “I’ve got to go,” he said and turned away. He had left. Just like that. My heart stung a little, no not a little a lot. Luke and I fought, we weren’t perfect people but we never left each other with words unspoken. It was our unwritten pact. I burst into tears. My family didn’t move but no one said a word. No one knew what to say, for some things there are no words.
Chapter 3
I woke up the next morning in a cold sweat. In my dream I was sitting in the cinema when a baby started to cry in the back aisle. Then suddenly all the people in the whole cinema were babies. Crying and crying. I shook my head until I woke up, gasping and moaning. My mum was by my side.
“Amy, sweetie shh, it was just a dream you’re okay.”
I sat up and the whole happenings of the last 48 hours came roaring back into my brain. As you can imagine, I lay back down with a sigh.
“You’d better get up,” said Mum, “I’ve an appointment for us, for you, sorry, at Dr Foster’s for 9am.” I looked up at my clock, quarter past eight.
“Okay, I’ll be down soon, thanks Mum.” I smiled and she nodded back; closing the door gently behind her. I reached to my bedside table for my phone. I had a missed call from Luke and one new message.
“Amy I’m so sorry about how I acted. I don’t know what came over me. It was just a shock I think. I don’t know what to do now so call me when you can. I love you always Amy, I’m sorry I’m a dick sometimes. Okay text me x,” I breathed a sigh of relief. So Luke wasn’t a complete runner. In truth I hadn’t thought he would be but he did scare me for a moment. Through all our time together that was definitely the most shocked I was by his behaviour. I tried to push it out of my mind as I got dressed. He had apologised, everything would be okay. Usually when anything happened with Luke, Tara was my first phone call. But I couldn’t do that. Did I want her to know? I didn’t know how she would react but I knew she would have the right words. Even if these last few months she hadn’t been acting herself. I presumed it was down to stress, her parents were really pushing for her to do medicine and she was studying like crazy.
My Much Braver and Better Best Friend
“You shouldn’t listen to them you know,” said Tara. We were eight years old and at the local park near my old school. Our mums were having coffee in a café just across the road. I didn’t say anything back.
“Amy who’s your friend, is she as weird as you? I bet she talks to herself too,” yelled a snotty red haired girl from the top of the playground castle. Her name was Suzie. She was in my class in school. Tara wasn’t in my school but I so ever wished she were. The kids in my school weren’t like her. I couldn’t talk to them about books or old comic magazines. They thought it was weird. I was so glad Tara’s mum and mine were best friends since birth and that they were ‘just absolutely determined Tara and Amy would be too!’