“But her parents aren’t even in London, I called them in the ambulance, they went to Kent for the weekend, please they trust me to look after her until they’re back. I’m sure they won’t be long!”
“Please miss, let my girlfriend see her best friend or can we at least know what’s going on?”
The woman sighed, “I’ll get the doctor on her ward to come and talk to you okay, please just take a seat over there.”
We nodded and Luke led me over to beside the coffee machine, after settling me down he jumped up and came back with two of those awful instants but it was better than nothing right now.
“Amz what happened, I mean how?” He asked sitting down beside me. I nestled into the nook of his arm.
“Luke, I don’t even know. All I did was walk in and…” My voice trailed off, I dreaded to think of what Tara was doing leaned over that porcelain toilet. I feared I knew and it made me ill to think about it.
“But she just collapsed?”
I nodded. I wouldn’t tell him anything until I knew the facts. Maybe I had read too many books. She was probably just after eating a bad avocado sandwich. I always told her they were bad at this time of year.
“She wouldn’t move at first.” I started to replay the awfulness of it, “then she started convulsing and seizing on the floor, I was so afraid she would hit her head on the tiles so I pushed a towel underneath her. Oh Luke it was so scary waiting for the ambulance.” I started to cry, “I’m so afraid for her.”
“Shhh shh, it’ll be okay, have you told your parents?” I shook my head.
“Well we should, they could be worried …”
A doctor with a mop of brown hair and kind looking eyes walked over towards us.
“You must be Amy am I right?” he asked kneeling down in front of me. I tucked myself out of Luke and sat upright.
“That’s me, is Tara okay can I see her? I know the lady at the desk said I couldn’t but…”
The doctor cut me off.
“You brought her in am I right?” he asked looking down at the papers.
“Yes,” I replied, annoyed that he had interrupted me though I knew from my dad that doctors were always busy and being a waiting room person was often a godsend for them. I didn’t care at this point, I cared about Tara.
“Look Amy I am so sorry but until her parents arrive we can’t let you in, anyways Tara is currently asleep. She’s on a lot of drugs right now to help her get better.”
“But what happened?” I asked, “What’s wrong with her?”
“We need to talk to Tara when she wakes up to get a better idea of the situation.” He smiled, “hang in there.”
And with that he patted my knee and walked away.
“Idiot,” muttered Luke.
“Shh,” I whispered. “It’s true he can’t tell us anything it’s not his fault. I’ve watched enough A&E and Grey’s Anatomy to know.”
Luke smiled. “Oh god, remember that weekend you had chicken pox,” he started to laugh.
“Stop that wasn’t funny; it hurt so much and I looked awful,” I giggled.
“You made me watch ten episodes of Grey’s Anatomy with you while you cried into a bowl of ice-cream,” he teased.
“Oh god I really did didn’t I, how did you ever stick it, you hate hospitals!” I remembered the time well. Luke had just asked me to be his girlfriend after months of us spending every aching moment we could together.
“Oh I don’t know, I guess I realised something sitting there watching you cry over people you didn’t even know.”
“What did you realise?” I asked curiously, sitting up.
Luke sighed and looked ahead, “That you were the kindest person I knew… and that I was falling quite badly in love with you…”
I grinned at him and kissed him on the lips. The lady sitting next to me cleared her throat and I rolled my eyes at Luke who rolled his back.
I settled myself up against him again and fell asleep, ignoring the fact that neither of us mentioned the massive issue of baby, or Tara or anything else horrible and scary to think of. Instead we ignored the surrounding buzz of lives beginning and ending and returned to our safe haven; each other.
I woke with a start half an hour later. Tara’s parents had arrived into the waiting room and were demanding answers. Luke straightened himself up, I told him it was probably best for him to go and I would call him later.
Once he left, Tara’s mum burst into tears, pulling me close and whispering thank you thank you. The doctor with the kind eyes returned to us.
“Mr and Mrs Lee?” he asked.
Tara’s father nodded, his eyes glazed.
“You’ll be glad to know Tara has woken up.”
We all breathed a sigh of relief.
“We have a specialist psychologist in talking with her now and once they are done we will have a full diagnosis but as of now.”
Tara’s mum interrupted.
“What kind of specialist, I don’t understand, what happened to her?”
“Your daughter suffered a seizure. As a result of malnourishment, we have had nutrient drips going into her for the last hour to build her up again, but unfortunately that is not the solution.”
“Malnourishment? But Tara’s isn’t skinny. She eats like any of us?” said her dad.
“Yes, that’s why this is not the permanent solution. We believe Tara is suffering from bulimia nervosa.”
Amy’s mum sobbed. I stayed silent. The doctor continued.
“It is a very common eating disorder and mostly goes un-noticed unless something like this should happen. People with bulimia nervosa don’t usually lose weight or if they do it is only for a short period of time.”
I breathed in and out slowly. I was a terrible friend, how could I have not noticed the signs. Then again, a lot of the time we see what we want to see. I held Tara’s mum’s hand tighter. The doctor told us to sit tight and that he would be back soon.
“Amy darling, thank you so much for everything but I think you should go home,” said Tara’s dad.
“Oh Amy thank you, we called your mum on our way here and she seemed awful worried. It’s probably best if it’s just us when Tara is ready anyways, who knows how she will be.”
I nodded and hugged them goodbye. I understood what they needed. I would go see Tara tomorrow and there would be no more secrets between us. She needed me now; I had to be strong for the girl who was always strong for me.
Dad collected me outside the hospital five minutes later.
“Hop in,” he said gruffly and I did. The whole way home he didn’t say a word. He had obviously taken the news that I was definitely pregnant terribly, but why stay mad at me? What good was it doing? When we stopped outside our house he turned off the engine, looked at me as if he were about to say something, then just shook his head and got out.
“Dad,” I started to say following him. He put up his hand and walked inside.
The Man Who Would Do Anything for Me
It was the last day of middle school. I was fourteen years old. Skinny, awkward, geeky but most of all, friendless; except for Tara of course but I barely saw her these days. Dad picked me up outside the school while all the other kids sauntered off together to go shopping or get ice creams in West End or whatever it was people who had groups of friends did.