“What’s her name?” whispered Tara across the seesaw. “Suzie,” I mouthed back.
“Hey Suzie,” yelled Tara.
Suzie turned around and slid down the slide but kept her distance. I could see Tara’s stout stance and body scared her a little.
“You’d better get yourself to a fire station, before you burn yourself,” said Tara confidently. It was a poor feeble dig but we were eight years old and it was enough to leave the popular Suzie speechless, running to the safety of the swings with her hands over her hair. We burst out laughing, hoping off the seesaw.
“My grandma used to tell me mean people are only like that because they’re sad so I should feel sorry for Suzie but nobody should do that to my Amy,” smiled Tara grabbing my skinny little hands and holding them in her soft comfy ones. “It’ll be okay, when we’re older you can move from your side of London to mine and we can go to school together in matching outfits and everyone will be jealous.”
“We’ll be invincible,” I said, “and maybe even have superpowers!”
“Oh yes definitely superpowers, I want to be able to be invisible.”
“And I want to be able to fly!”
“Oh everyone will think we are the coolest two girls alive and all the boys will turn into princes when they see us and we will get to pick our favourite!”
I smiled. Tara always made me happy.
“Now race you to the tree and back,” she shouted and off we ran; the wind and leaves wiping away any of our worries.
The waiting room was white and sterile as always. I hadn’t wanted to come to Dr Foster; she had been my doctor for all matters that didn’t go to Dad. I know it was stupid but I didn’t want her thinking I was a slut. I was aware I had more to be worrying about than that and things were only going to get harder but still I argued with Mum on the way here but she was insistent that she trusted Dr Foster and we weren’t going anywhere else.
“Amy Webb,” said the nurse. Mum and I stood up, following her down the hall and into Dr Foster’s room.
“Well Amy! How are you? Tough year, how are you holding up?” asked Dr Foster friendlily.
“Oh I’m fine,” I said weakly sitting down on the examination bed.
“And you Liz how are things?” she asked my mum and they chattered about work for a minute or so. I could hear the tension in Mum’s voice.
“Now Amy what can I help you with?”
“Ehm, well…” I took a breath. “I need a proper pregnancy test I think.” It sounded so stupid when I said it. I sounded so childish and unknowing. I guess I was.
“Okay, no problem. We will take your bloods but we will start with a urine test so if you could pop down the hall with this,” she handed me a clear cylinder tube with a lid, “and pop back up once you’re done.” She smiled encouragingly and I went out.
When I returned, Mum’s eyes were red and Dr Foster was holding her hand.
"Great Amy, thank you, I’ll send that now and we will have your results in the next few minutes’ a nurse came in and took the sample. Great, I thought, another person who knows I’m pregnant. I was thinking completely irrationally, if this was now my life I was going to need to not care.
Dr Foster set up her equipment to take my blood. All the while talking to me about normal things, she was being really kind and I didn’t feel as though she was judging me. When we were done, the nurse came back handing Dr Foster a piece of paper.
“Well Amy,” her expression was neither a frown nor a smile, “it looks like you are pregnant.”
I let out a breath.
“I know this is unplanned and will be a lot to take in, but remember you still have a lot of options open to you.”
“I can’t have a baby,” I said simply, emotionless.
“Oh Amy!” My mum came over and wrapped her arms around me. I started to cry into her shoulder.
“I understand that you’ll be having a lot of thoughts but there’s no immediate rush. Right now what I would advise is that you go home, rest and have a think. I’d like to see you here again on Monday after school so in two days if that is okay? We will have the blood tests back by then and can discuss our options further, is that okay with you Amy?” She said our options and those two words made me feel very less alone. I nodded, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand.
“Okay Amy,” she said softly handing me a tissue. Once Mum and I had both composed ourselves we thanked Dr Foster and left.
In the car I felt a whole lot calmer and I just wanted to watch a funny movie and laugh. Mum was being really kind too.
“I’m not going to tell the girls, no matter what I do,” I said to her as we drove after telling her about Luke’s text. We were close in that way and I knew I needed her now more than ever.
“That’s a hard thing to do Amy, why?”
“We’ve so many exams and so much of their future lies on this year, I don’t want to worry them or distract them with my own problems,” I said truthfully.
“That’s a really thoughtful decision, I’m proud of you, hey why don’t you give Tara a call, I know her mum’s been worried about her these days, maybe she could distract you even if she doesn’t know she is, or would that be too hard. Am I doing the right thing here Amy I really don’t even know… should I even be letting you outside, oh god!” Mum clapped her hands against the steering wheel, her eyes watering.
“It’s okay, Mum, I’m sorry there is no right way I don’t think but that does sound really nice, will you just drop me off at hers on the way home.”
Mum just nodded. I think she was afraid if she spoke she would cry.
I texted Tara to say I was coming over but by the time we pulled up outside her house I had no reply. I told Mum I’d call her if she wasn’t there and I bounded around to Tara’s back door. We were long past ringing the doorbell with each other. Tara was an only child, as her mum always said I was her second daughter; her favourite one. I let myself in the back door; neither of her parents appeared to be home so I called her name. When I got no response I started up the stairs.
“Tara!” I said pushing open her door and jumping in. no one there. I heard a groaning sound coming from her en suite so I ran to her bathroom door and pushed it open. Tara was kneeling on the floor in front of her toilet, her two fingers pushing down her mouth. She saw me and collapsed.
Chapter 4
“Yes, no I’m her friend not family but please let me see her…I brought her here!”
The lady with the hair sprayed stiff bun pursed her lips and looked down at her desk. The hospital was a buzz of tears, noise and the smell of machine coffee.
“It’s against all regulations, I’m sorry we’re going to have to just wait.”
“Please,” I whispered and suddenly there was a strong familiar arm on my back.
“What’s going on?” asked Luke as I turned to see him. He kissed me on the forehead. I had called him in tears from Tara’s house straight after calling the ambulance.
“Unfortunately, sir we cannot let non-family members in to see a patient before the patient’s guardians are present. It’s just regulations, I am sorry.” I could see her face had softened since she had seen Luke kiss me on the forehead. Acts of young love always softened even the hardest of hearts. I squeezed Luke’s hand.