“So what now?” I ask.
“Dr. Miller said tomorrow they’ll run some kind of brain test so he can see if the lack of oxygen gave her any lasting damage. But other than that, I don’t know. I was so worried about her waking up, now that she did, I don’t know what to do. I mean, she tried to kill herself.”
“How long will they keep her in the hospital?”
“At least a few more days, depending on the test results.”
“That’s reassuring. It’ll give you time to talk to her and figure out what’s best.”
“What if she refuses to get help? What if she tries again?” His leg bounces and he worries his lip, like I’ve seen happen so often the last few days. I take his hand in mine, turn it over, and rub comforting circles on his wrist.
“Let’s not jump to conclusions. Maybe this will be the wakeup call she needs.”
“I can’t go through this again.”
“You’ll make her understand. I know you will. Now that you know just how depressed she’s been, you know how hard to fight. I’ll help any way you need.”
“Thank you, Kian. I honestly don’t know what I would’ve done without you.”
“I do make an awesome babysitter.” I boast.
“It’s not just that. I didn’t feel alone in this. You supported me and gave me an outlet to vent to. I don’t deserve you, but I’m glad you’re my friend.” He stutters on the word friend, but I don’t read into it.
“You’re welcome. On that note, I better go. I’ll be back tomorrow morning. I do have to go into Focus tomorrow by six, but I can ask Mrs. Porter to sit with them, or we can call Oliver’s daughter.”
“Are you sure you can do another day with them?”
“Of course. You can assume for the next little while that I’ll be here every day. Doing whatever you need.” I assure him.
“I think you should stay,” he blurts.
“Huh?”
“I mean, in Sara’s room. At least for a few days until we know what’s going to happen. You’ve been staying so late and have to wake up so early to be here when I leave for the hospital. I think it makes sense. You can sleep in until the kids wake up. Especially since you have to work late at night.”
“I guess I can.” I want to argue, but after tonight, I’ll be arriving home at two in the morning and then waking up at six to be here for Archer to go to the hospital. At least if I were here, I could sleep until eight when the kids get up.
“I’m glad. Do you want to go pack a few things up and I’ll get the bedding changed on Sara’s bed?”
“Oh, you mean tonight?”
“Not if you don’t want to.” He rubs at the back of his neck, looking sheepish. It’s a hard expression to pull off when you’re built like a lumberjack, but he manages.
“No, I do. It’s a smart idea.” I grab my keys. “I guess I’ll be back in a half hour or so?”
“Perfect.”
I calmly leave and get into my tiny Smart car. Then I proceed to freak out and call Jarrett.
He answers on the fourth ring. “Bitch, it’s ten p.m. and I’m in bed.”
“Where you’ll stay awake for two more hours watching Gossip Girl. You forget I know you.”
“You’re right. What’s up?”
“Archer just asked me to move in with him.”
“Into his sister’s house? Aren’t you two taking a break?”
“Technically he asked me to move into his sister’s room to make it easier to babysit.”
“That makes sense since you’re the manny now,” he says in a bored tone.
“Exactly. So why am I freaking out? It’s a logical decision.”
“Because you like the guy and want to be sleeping in his bed where he can dick you down every night.”
“Not every night. My ass couldn’t take it.” I clench just thinking about it. I mean, I could try and see, but—
“Told you that’s why you’re having a panic attack.”
“We decided to be friends for a reason. I have unresolved teenage angst I haven’t had a chance to deal with and he’s still neck deep in sister troubles.” Logic returns like a hammer to the face. I have no business romanticizing practicality.
“Kian, Kian, Kian. I’m only going to say this once, so listen up.” I hear him adjust in his bed, getting comfortable. “You don’t have ‘teenage angst’ issues or whatever you want to call it. You have trust issues like ninety percent of all people out there. It’s scary to fall for someone. It gives them power over you. You were hurt once, sure. But who actually ends up marrying their high school sweetheart? None of us. It’s been eleven years. Let that shit go. Archer isn’t Jax. He’s still a man, so he’s going to fuck up, but he’s not Jax. If you don’t suture the wound he left, it’s going to keep bleeding on everyone else you try to have a relationship with.”
Realization hits me. He’s right. Jax and I probably would’ve broken up over something else if it hadn’t been his complete inability to show anyone but me his true self. Who knows? Maybe I would’ve been the one to break it off. We were kids. I need to let it go.
“Wow. That was actually sound advice.”
“I know,” he says and I hear the smug grin in his tone.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Now, more importantly, how’s Sara?”
“She woke up,” I say.
“She did?” He gasps. “That should’ve been the headline of this phone call. Next time lead with the breaking news and not this fake news bullshit you were spewing.”
“Archer hasn’t talked to her or anything. She fell asleep after they took out her breathing tube. But at least she’s awake.”
“Thank God.”
“It’ll be interesting to see what happens from here.”
“Hopefully she’ll want to get help.” He gasps loudly, startling me. “You know what she should do? She should take up yoga. It does wonders for your mental health.”
“I’ll mention it to Archer.” I won’t. Personally, I don’t see how twisting yourself into a pretzel can make you not depressed. “Listen, I better go. I need to pack a bag and get back to Archer’s.”
“Okay, honey. Fernando and I will stop by for wine tomorrow.”
“See you then.”
As I put together an overnight bag with my essentials, I think about what Jarrett said. The more I churn the conversation around in my mind, the more it all becomes clear, and even though Archer still isn’t in the place to pick back up on us, I am. I always was. But I was scared and chose to blame my insecurities on my past instead of just talking them out with the other person in the relationship.
I’ll wait for this to be all over, but once it is and things are settled, I’m getting my man back.
Archer
It was a spontaneous decision to ask Kian to stay here while I figure things out with Sara. I’d been feeling so alone and to wake up with him in my bed this morning was a balm to my soul. Combine that with seeing my sister’s eyes open and I guess I got caught up.