“What changed?”
Chandler gives me a dead-sexy look and then pushes in the toy a little.
“You know,” he murmurs, “you were really holding back on me.”
“How?”
“You never told me how fucking good this feels,” he says as he pushes it upward a bit.
“Get over here and fuck me with it, River.”
I stop in front of him.
“Wait, before we start…”
“Yes.”
“I’m sorry if it seemed like I pushed this thing on you.”
“What?”
“I was thinking, and – if you really don’t want this, it’s fine. Positions shouldn’t matter this much. I turned this into some huge thing, when it didn’t need to be, and I’m sorry.”
Chandler looks down at himself. “Do you not see that I have a prostate wand in my asshole right now?”
“Good point…”
“I mean, were you a little persistent? Yes. But I needed it. I had no idea how small-minded I still was, River. But I’m going to change it. Starting now. Can you fuck me with the toy now?”
I take the toy in my hand…then pause. “Oh, one more thing. Before you get fucked by this thing, well…you have to do…a thing.”
“Oh, I did,” he smirks.
“You douched?” I ask him, shocked.
“Did you think I was going to go into this thing unprepared? I did my homework, babe.”
“You did the whole thing? You can get fucked, too?”
“Yes, sir. We’re about to have a good Valentine’s, honey.”
9
River Browning
I push it into him, and he reacts in a way I’ve never seen him react to anything – he throws his head back, goes stiff, and whines. I have never heard him whine in my life, and it makes my whole body shiver.
“How does it feel?” I ask him.
“Fucking good,” he says, red-faced. “It makes me feel…invaded, somehow, but in a good way.”
“Wait until I start moving it in a circle.”
He reaches down and squeezes the head of his dick. “Baby, I’m gonna cum.”
“Do you wanna hold it?”
“Yeah. I was thinking – can you give me that lesson?”
I’m going to be weak. I’m going to be submissive. And I’m going to love it.
“River. I want your cock in my mouth.”
“Wait. You’re gonna suck dick, too?”
I nod.
“Fuck, you don’t gotta ask me twice…”
“I’ve gotta eat you out. The first time can be painful if you aren’t good and opened up.”
“Open me up, baby.”
“How does my hole look from this angle?” he asks me, smiling.
“It’s literally the most perfect one I’ve ever seen. Tight, pink, small. Fuck…”
“So you like it?”
“I think…you are going to have a very hard time keeping me away from this things now.”
“Fuck…”
His tongue on my hole is an ecstasy I’ve never even imagined. Sometimes I wondered if the girls in pornos were exaggerating with their moans and yells whenever they’d get eaten out, but now…
Well, let’s just say the sounds coming from me aren’t that different.
I slip the tip of his cock into my hole and moan as my body flexes. He watches with enrapt eyes as my abs tighten and my toes curl.
“Ahh, it feels so good.”
“I know, baby.”
I reach up and
10
Chandler Mendes
I think about what this means. A year ago I had never kissed a guy. A day ago I had never had a foreign object inside my hole. And tonight I am about to get fucked.
I explore his shaft. He’s smaller than me, but at the same time his shaft is perfectly smooth, and his balls are big and fat.
“Damn, this is a nice cock. Why do I focus on your hole so much? Well, scratch that, I do because it’s fucking tight and pink and perfect. But why have I been neglecting this?”
“Because you were a top, duh.”
“Oh…fuck…”
“You’re sure this whole thing will fit inside me?”
I take his dick in my hands, and he gets fully hard.
“Chandler,” he responds. “I promise. You think yours will fit in me, and mine won’t fit in you? You’re like, three inches longer. Like I said, open up first. Start to take it, inch by inch. I’ll go slow. It’ll burn at first, but that’s normal. And once the pain leaves…it’ll be the best thing you’ve ever felt.”
“You’re sure?”
“Fuck, yeah. I could literally bottom all day. I just like topping more.”
I kiss his forehead. “Good. Take my virginity, River Browning.”
He looks down.
“What?” I ask.
“Fuck…not to sound like some douchey straight guy who lusts after virgins or whatever,” River says, “but I can’t stop thinking about the fact that nobody has ever done this before.”
“And I love that you’re my first. Now do it.”
And the moment comes…
River sinks in his tip, and my whole body clenches.
“How does it feel?”
I make a whiny sound I’ve never heard come from me before. “Fuck, fuck, fuck. So good. It makes me feel…needy. For you.”
I realize I’m so worked-up, I’m teary-eyed. I know it’s just from all the adrenaline, but still it starts leading me down a dark mental path.
I’m doing it…
I’m doing what I told my dad I would never do…
I’m crying in front of another man…
And I’m letting myself be weak for him, too…
In the most physical way possible…
“Um,” I blurt out, “maybe we should…maybe…”
“What’s wrong?” River asks, and then I burst into tears and pull away from him.
11
River Browning
“I’m sorry,” Chandler says, wiping his face and turning around. “Look at me, I’m a wreck…”
“Chandler, what’s wrong?”
He takes a breath and then says this: “My dad has never told me he loved me.”
I fall back a little.
One time, during an emotional breakdown moment, my mom confessed that her father used to get drunk and throw things at her – she just blurted it out like that. This seems similar, and I have no idea how to proceed.
“Oh, this is – okay,” I begin. “Wow. Well…”
“But worse than that,” he says, “one time he beat me up for crying.”
“Chandler. What?”
“It was the morning I had to say goodbye to my childhood dog, Gus. He was miserable and they were taking him into the vet while I was going to be at school. I sat on the couch with him before the bus came, crying buckets, and my dad just got so…angry.”