The laugh died on her lips as she thought about what she was about to say, and how badly Ryder would react to it. She knew he wouldn’t like it but logic said this was how it had to be, it was what Alex wanted, and so it was the only thing that would achieve their goal.
While the guys chattered and took seats at the table, she ferried cups over and then brought over a pot of coffee. Ryder pushed his chair back and patted his lap, and she sat down on it, praying he didn’t shove her off when he heard what she had to say.
“Uh, guys?” she said, interrupting them. Dr. Hancock had told her that the best policy was just to be honest about what she was feeling and what she needed, and she figured that was a good policy for everything not just dealing with Ryder.
“What’s up, Abs?” Owen asked.
“I want to play bait,” she blurted out before she could second guess herself and let her fear stop her from doing what had to be done.
“No,” Ryder said like it was that simple.
“I second that,” Eric quickly added.
The other guys exchanged glances like they had already floated this possibility when Ryder and Eric weren’t around.
“I wasn’t asking for your permission, Ryder, or yours either, Eric,” she said. She wasn’t a child and if she wanted to do this—and she did as much as it terrified her—then no one would stop her.
“This is insane. Do you remember what he did to you last time?” Eric roared.
“Yes. I can’t forget,” she said softly. “I remember the pain each time one of Alex’s men hit me, I remember the fear that I was going to die, I remember the crushing loneliness that I thought would drive me insane. I see it, I hear it, I feel it, it’s imprinted on my soul, and I won’t ever be able to get it off.”
“You are not doing this, I won’t let you.” Ryder said it as though that made it so, but she was sitting on his lap and she could feel the panic coursing through his body. “You know what he’s like, you know what he’ll do to you.”
“I also know that this is the only way to guarantee we find him. This is what he wants, this is his plan, this will work, and we all know it. I can’t just sit back and wait, you’re asking me to give up more of my life, Ryder. How long should I wait? Days? Weeks? Months? What if you can never find him? I spent fourteen months of my life trapped in a cell, I’m not going to spend anymore being trapped in my home, my life on hold. You told me earlier you couldn’t deny me anything,” she said, knowing she was playing dirty by using Ryder’s words, said while they were being intimate and not intended in this context, against him. “You know that it has to be this way, don’t fight me, support me, keep me safe, make this happen.”
9:03 A.M.
“Why isn’t anyone saying anything?” Spider demanded tightly. His panic was a thick, dark thing, smothering him. How was he supposed to be okay with handing Abigail over to a dangerous and highly trained killer on a silver platter?
“I’m saying something, absolutely not,” Night said firmly.
Fire shot from Abigail’s gold and silver eyes. “You’re not the boss of me, Eric.”
“Real mature, comeback, Abby,” Night said with a glower.
“I’m not five years old anymore, you don’t get to tell me what I can and cannot do,” she said through clenched teeth, glaring at her brother.
“Abby, Alex is dangerous, not the kind of man you play games with,” Spider said hesitantly not sure of the best way to go about convincing her this was a bad idea.
“Are we back to that weak argument, Ryder?” she turned to face him. “Of course I know he’s dangerous. I’m the one he beat and tortured and kept locked in a shack in the middle of the jungle for over a year. But if it wasn’t me we were talking about you would agree that this is the best plan we have.”
“But it is you we’re talking about,” he shot back.
“So you didn’t mean it when you said you couldn’t deny me anything.” Her eyes searched his looking for something, but he wasn’t sure what.
Spider growled, she knew what he’d meant when he’d said that. How was this even a discussion? “That was sex talk and you know it. This isn’t happening so get that out of your pretty head. Now, why don’t you go and read or watch TV or something so we can figure out a real plan?” He knew he was being a jerk, dismissing her like she wasn’t needed—wasn’t valuable—but he couldn’t look at her without seeing her thin, deathly pale face when he’d found her in that cell. Abigail knew he loved her. How could she ask him to put her straight back into the same situation she had only escaped by accident?
Abigail shoved off his lap. “You’re being a jerk, Ryder, and it’s very unattractive. If you and Eric can’t handle this then maybe you should leave,” she said with a scathing glare. Then she turned her attention to the rest of his team. “You guys have brains that aren’t clogged by stupid alpha male protectiveness, so you agree this is our best plan of action, right?”
Fox, Shark, King, and Chaos exchanged glances, and Ryder knew his friends were about to betray him.
“We did discuss this as a possibility,” Fox acknowledged.
“See,” Abigail said, throwing a frown his way then went to lean against the wall since there were no spare chairs left, and she obviously wasn’t going to come back and sit on his lap. “Then let’s make this happen. He has to be watching me so all he needs is a chance to come for me, which means that Ryder needs to leave so I’m alone, he’s not coming so long as he knows I’m protected.”
“If you think I’m leaving you you’re crazy,” he exclaimed. There was no way he was leaving Abigail alone while some psychopath had her in his sights.
“Did you just call me crazy?” Abigail fumed.
“Lovebirds, you can fight later,” Fox said firmly. “Sorry, man, I think this is our best play, I wouldn’t have suggested it but if Abby is up for it then I think we should do it.”
“I’m up for it,” Abigail said firmly, shooting him a look that dared him to disagree again.
“Spider, I get that you don’t want to do this because it’s Abby, but you can’t deny if it was anyone else we would be discussing this plan and finding a way to make it work,” Chaos said.
“We’d have a tracker on her,” King added.
“Alex will expect that,” he said.
“Right, we’re not trying to trick him, this is Alex’s plan, he wants to lure us out of the country where he thinks he’ll have the upper hand so we go along with that. Let him take Abby, follow him, and then take him out,” Shark said.
If only it were that simple.
Unfortunately, he could think of a dozen things off the top of his head that could go wrong with this operation.
But his team was correct about one thing. If this operation was about anyone else except Abigail then he would agree that this plan had the highest chance of getting them their guy and getting him quickly.
Abigail was right, she was a big girl and didn’t need his permission to do this, so if she was doing this with or without him, he didn’t really have a choice.