Ensley: Just around the house. If she’d use the potty I wouldn’t mind. But cleaning up pee everywhere is not fun.
Micah: Yeah. I’m seriously laughing now. No that wouldn’t be good.
Ensley: Wait until it’s down your leg or you step in it. You won’t be laughing then.
Micah: Probably not.
Talking to him, even through texts was easy. And if I had to admit, I enjoyed it way too much. Even though we were typing there was a banter there I liked.
Ensley: Sorry to drop the bomb on you about Remy out of the blue. Know you deserve better, but I really had no idea what your last name was. And in all honesty I didn’t think you’d want anything to do with her.
I let out a heavy breath. That last statement was as real as it got. It took long moments before those little dots showed up that said he was typing. The anticipation made my stomach do cartwheels.
Micah: I’m glad that I know. I want to be her dad and I’ll help you in any way I can.
More truths…here we go.
Ensley: My first thought was that you were going to try and take her from me…
There was another pause and I bit my damn nail trying to calm my nerves and didn’t pull it back. Since pacing was out of the question, I needed to do something through all this tension.
Micah: Never. Do I want to see her, get to know her and be her dad, yes. But take her from you, no way in hell. That’s not the man I am.
Relief washed over me like a lead weight lifted from my shoulders. All that fuss before and fear was undeserved. Could I make a bigger mess of this?
Ensley: I appreciate that more than I can say.
Micah: No one will ever take that little girl away from you or me. That I guarantee.
He guaranteed it? That was a very bold statement and deep inside I knew it was true. His entire demeanor today was right on target with this statement.
Ensley: Thank you. I’m heading to bed. See you on Friday.
Micah: Sweet Dreams and call or text me any time.
Ensley: Right. Night.
I held the phone in my hands for the longest time staring at the old faded ceiling. Maybe this would be a new chapter in Remy and my life. Or at least it would in Remy’s, that was for sure. Mine, I needed to keep an even keeled grasp on my reality. He was here for Remy. Not me. It was best never to forget it.
Maybe putting post it notes all over would help. Who was I kidding? Did you see the man?
19
Micah
“Hello.” I called into my childhood home as I entered it the next day. As much as I wanted to continue texting Ensley she wanted off so be it. There would be more times ahead of us where we could get to know one another. And doing it in person rather than text was my preferred way.
I’d spoken to my father earlier this morning about the news of me being a father.
“Son?” My father asked as he answered the call, but I could hear the smile in his tone. Yes, he knew.
“Guess I’m a father.”
He chuckled full out. “Heard that. How ya feelin’ about bein’ a dad?”
Wasn’t that the million-dollar question.
“It’s a fuck of a shock. Not what I was expecting at all, but I’ll learn.”
“Boy you have a time comin’. Can’t fuckin’ wait.” His tone sombered a bit. “Know ya have a lot goin’ through that head of yours. Just know that your mom and I have your back on this.”
He had no idea what those words meant to me and how much I loved them. “Thanks. You tell mom yet?”
“Fuck no.” He said shocking the shit right out of me. I thought for sure as soon as he knew he’d run to mom and tell her everything.
Part of me was happy he didn’t. It was exciting news and seeing the look on my mom’s face would be priceless. Especially when I told her the whole story. She wouldn’t care and just want to spoil Remy as much as she could. She was that way.
“Why fuck no?” I asked.
“Because that’s your story to tell. She’ll be pissed as hell for me not tellin’ her, but this is her first grandchild and she needs to hear that from you. It’s worth her ire for a while. But she’ll burn out quick because she’ll be too excited.”
It was my turn to chuckle. “Yeah, she’ll be happy. I’m commin’ by in a bit to tell her. Good with you?”
“The sooner you get here the sooner I’m not keepin’ somethin’ from your mom.”
“Later.”
I felt relived after the phone and was excited to tell my mom and see her reaction to being a grandma.
“Micah!” My mother called from the kitchen coming out and heading right to me then wrapping her arms around me, holding me tight. “I was so excited when your father said you were coming for dinner.” She said pulling away and smiling up at me. The way she beamed her light on me made me appreciate every second of it.
“Couldn’t resist a home cooked meal ma. I miss those damn things.”
“Well I have one of your favorites. Roast, potatoes and carrots. Are you ready to eat?” She asked pulling away from me.
My father entered the room and I lifted my chin to him and returned the gesture. “Can we sit and talk for a minute?” I asked her and the smile started to fall from her face as she looked to my father then back to me assessing, judging.
And the verdict is…
“What’s wrong?” She asked immediately.
“Nothin’s wrong. Let’s just sit. I have some news for ya.”
My mother moved to the couch with a bit of hesitation in her step. While I hated she felt that way even for a moment, it would be over soon. I sat next to her and my father sat in his recliner.
“Do you know about this?” She asked my father who shrugged. Her eyes narrowed on him giving him that look. Yeah, he was going to get shit for this. That was for damn sure. Glad I’d be gone for that one.
“Spill.” My mom ordered me. Even pissed off she was beautiful. The glint in her eye told me that if I didn’t start talking soon, she’d smack me. Loved her and all, but I wasn’t a fan of getting smacked by my momma. And make no mistake, she only threatened what she’d actually do.
“A couple of years ago, I met a chick in a bar.”
My mother held her hand up in my face. “No. Just no. I don’t want to hear about you fucking someone, Micah. What’s wrong with you?”
I chuckled at her quick answer “Bear with me for a minute okay?”
She nodded but sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly. She had nothing to worry about. I didn’t want her knowing my sex life either. It was on a need to know basis.
“Right. So me and this chick had one night together.” My mom held up her hand to interrupt, but I kept going. At this rate she’d never find out and I’d be here for a damn week trying to get the words out. “A few nights ago at the clubhouse I saw her for brief moment. When we talked yesterday she had something very interesting to tell me.”