Six months in jail, of which he’s about three months into, two years’ probation, and a fifty-two week batterer’s program. All in all, it’s not the justice someone should get for years of tearing another person down, but it’s more than I ever assumed he’d get. And because he plead guilty, with the charges against him for harming Breanna, it helps my divorce case.
Karla all but put her foot down for sole physical and legal custody, and Shane’s divorce attorney had no choice but to capitulate. That doesn’t mean Shane can’t see the girls in the future, but with him in jail, it means I have full authority to make decisions on their behalf without consulting him. He has almost no say in how they are raised, where we could go, and has to be granted permission to see them. Which will be rather hard considering we still have the restraining order against him for all three of us, for at least another year.
As for the rest of the divorce, Karla is still ironing out the details of the monetary settlement. We’ll be selling the house, which means I’ll get half of whatever it goes for, and I’m hoping that my portion is in the high hundreds of thousands. I know what remodeling I put into that house, and what it’s worth, so it should pay for college funds for the girls and a modest house for us after this is all over. Other than that, Karla thinks she can get me a lump sum settlement. I’ve opted not to ask Shane for child support; the less contact I have with him, the better. If we can take our lump sum, plus whatever I make while working full time, and never see him again? I’ll be on cloud nine.
It’s the first break, the first time I’ve been able to catch what feels like a full breath in more than half a year.
So Dahlia suggested a girl’s night. Except when you’re a single mom, that means bottles of wine in your living room after your kids go to bed.
“I’m going to get another bottle of wine.” Dahlia shoots up, leaving Colleen and me alone.
“Once the divorce is final, which could take months or even a year, I’m going to pay you back for all of this.” I gesture to the condo.
She lays a hand on my wrist. “Don’t you dare. It’s not even close to what I wanted to help with. I feel like I failed you last year, Hannah. I knew, I saw the bruises, and yet my job and who Shane was to me as a player taped my mouth shut. I feel awful for it.”
The pain in her eyes makes me sad. “You couldn’t help someone who didn’t ask for it. And I didn’t. Not until it was almost too late.”
“But you’re here now. And I’d help a thousand times over, so please, you owe me nothing.”
I have to blink back tears, because before that night in the parking lot, I essentially shut this woman out. I didn’t want her to see the abuse I was going through, so it was easier to nip our friendship in the bud before it even blossomed. And still, she jumped into action the moment I needed rescuing.
“I’m just glad to be standing on my own two feet … well, almost.” I smile sheepishly.
“You’re going back to school next month, right?” she asks, sipping the last dregs of wine out of her plastic cup.
I bob my head up and down. “Yes, have all of my classes lined up, and then Ginny will be supervising my licensing hours. I’m anxious, but so excited.”
“Well, you can practice on me anytime you want.” Colleen grins.
“Don’t tempt me. I might experiment right now, and we’re a few glasses down.” My smirk is wry.
The truth is, I’m so excited about going back to cosmetology school. Since I let my license expire, I have to do some continuing education before I retake my exam and get relicensed. But, by the beginning of next year, I’ll be able to have my own chair again.
Yes, the workload of courses plus my existing shifts at the salon, plus taking on the girls full time as the only parent in their life … it’s going to be a lot. But we’ll get through that season, just as we have every other one. My only worry is that Dahlia will have to leave us soon. The worst with Shane and the trials is over, hopefully, and I know she has a life to get back to. She can’t live with us forever, no matter how much I might want that.
“And what about Walker?” Colleen asks quietly, so quietly I almost miss it.
My heart sputters to a stop, like an old engine that was working but crapped out suddenly. I might be putting quick fixes on it, tricking myself into believing it’s brand new, but that’s just a lie.
“What about him?” I try to keep the heartbreak out of my voice.
She stares down at her bare feet on the carpet. “I know he loves you, Hannah. He’s been in a shit mood for three months. Aside from work and family stuff, he doesn’t leave his house. He’s sullen and moody, which is the total opposite of my cousin. I’m worried, about both of you.”
“He didn’t want to be with me, Colleen. I don’t know that there is anything I can do about that.”
Dahlia rejoins us now, with two bottles of wine grasped in each hand.
“But you love him. And he loves you, I know he does. I think you just had crap timing. What all happened with Shane, and then Sinclair, it’s enough to knock anyone down. You guys can still get back up again, though. Maybe if you just talked to him,” Colleen suggests, and I feel my anger and sadness reaching peak levels.
“He walked away from me. I know he’s your cousin, but you can’t pin this one on me. I wanted to be with him, despite my trust issues and all of the baggage that came with me. I wanted to make it work. He was the one who ended things. And, might I add, hasn’t called since.”
My sister pipes up, and I can’t believe what comes out of her mouth.
“It’s okay to fall in love, to let a man love you. When it’s the right thing, it should feel effortless. Or at least that’s what I hear. And if you can’t see that Walker Callahan is head over heels for you and those girls, you’re even more blind than I thought. He might be a little lost right now, and I haven’t seen him in a while, but I know that man loves you.”
Dahlia’s little speech rocks me to my core. “Um, what? You’re forgetting the part where he broke up with me. Hasn’t spoken to me for three months, basically made me fall in love with him and then walked out.”
“So, you’re finally owning up to the fact that you’re in love with him? Good, at least we got somewhere.” My sister rolls her eyes.
“It might not be my place, and believe me, I’m rooting for both of you, but Walker never gave up on you when you were going through hell. He was patient, didn’t push you, and wanted to do everything in his power to make you comfortable. When Sinclair got in his accident, Walker blamed himself. Solely. He still does. He’s tearing himself apart for not being a good enough brother, or a good enough family member. Believe me, as a Callahan, I understand that all too well. I think he’s just lost, and if you went to him, you could both end up happy.”
Her words are a mirror held up to my face, but they aren’t exactly every side of the story. It’s hard to explain to her, and now I feel like she’s on his side. I feel like Dahlia is there, too. But how am I supposed to go groveling back to a man who made it clear he wants no part of being the man for me and my daughters?
“You two are crazy.” I shake my head, reeling from the tail end of the conversation.