Hollyn read the words quickly and then went back and read them again more slowly. Tears burned the corners of her eyes at the thought of that little-girl version of herself trying to protect her, putting her hands up and stopping anyone from getting too close, from looking too hard. She didn’t want to stand behind that little girl anymore. She had been taking steps out into the sunlight for the last year, baby step by baby step.
She wasn’t all the way there, but she’d come so far. She was a grown woman, living in the city, working hard at her job. She was tackling her worst fears to get a promotion. She was a woman who had asked Jasper for what she wanted and had boldly started a relationship with him. When he looked at her, she didn’t know if he had feelings, but she knew that he liked her. She knew he was attracted to her. She wasn’t a pity project for him. She needed to stop thinking of herself as a charity case. She lifted her phone again.
Hollyn: I’m going to talk to him.
The words appeared on the screen, and a jolt of fear went through her, but she swallowed it down. She had to trust herself, that she could handle whatever the outcome was.
Mary Leigh: Good. I’m here if you need me.
Hollyn: Any last-minute advice?
Mary Leigh: Be honest. Don’t play games. And maybe have a shot of something strong before you have the convo.
Hollyn: LOL. Mary Leigh!
Mary Leigh: :) Kidding on the last part. I know you can do this stone-cold sober. You’ve faced a lot worse. At the end of the day, he’s just a man. A person. Just like you. He may let you down. He also may surprise you. But you won’t know unless you give him a chance to hear how you feel.
Hollyn ended the session and tossed her phone onto the coffee table. So this was happening. She was going to break her word, put herself out there, and tell Jasper how she felt about him.
Tomorrow. Definitely tomorrow.
She reached for her phone again and scrolled. After an inner pep talk, she let her thumbs fly over the keyboard.
Hollyn: So how exactly do girls’ nights work?
It took only a minute for the response.
Andi: OMG ARE WE HAVING A GIRLS’ NIGHT???
Hollyn laughed.
Hollyn: I have boy angst and I don’t want to think about it tonight. I’m assuming this is the proper solution.
Andi: *GIF of Rachel from Friends jumping up and down in excitement* YASSSS. Here for it. I have about half an hour worth of editing left on this podcast and then it’s on. Are we having girls’ night in or girls’ night out?
Hollyn: I haven’t left the house in 2 days.
Andi: GURL. Queso and margaritas it is. Text me ur address. Pick u up by seven.
Hollyn forwarded her address and smiled. She may completely blow things with Jasper. She may embarrass the hell out of herself. But at least she’d made some progress. If everything melted down, she’d at least have someone to call for chips and queso.
That was something.
A big something.
She bit her lip and scrolled to a different number.
Hollyn: Hey, have any Saturday plans?
Her phone went dark after no response came, but as soon as she shifted to put it down, the screen lit.
Jasper: I was just about to call u and ask the same thing. U done with Cal?
Jasper had no idea how big a question that was.
Hollyn: He’s headed back to Baton Rouge. I’m free.
Jasper: Cool. I wanted to talk 2U about something. Picnic lunch in City Park?
Hollyn: Perfect. See you soon. Miss you.
She had a mild panic reaction when she hit Send, but there was no taking it back. Miss you. Miss you.
When the dots appeared and then disappeared and Jasper didn’t immediately respond, she almost moved from mild panic to freak-out, but then his message finally popped up.
Jasper: Same.
The word was a simple one but seemed to blink on the screen like a neon sign. Same. If that were true, maybe there was hope for her yet.
Maybe.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Jasper smoothed out the blanket on the grass under one of the ancient live-oak trees in the park and put the cooler of food he’d brought on one corner to keep the blanket from flying away. The gnarled branches of the oak touched the ground on one side, offering the picnic spot some semblance of privacy, but the other side was open to a wide green space where kids were playing and couples were lounging.
Jasper should’ve been in a great mood. He didn’t have to work today. The sky was bright blue, and the temperatures weren’t death-by-humidity hot. He had investors interested in his theater. He should’ve been running around in joy like those kids. But instead, he couldn’t shake the ominous sense of dread that had been hovering over him since his talk with Fitz.
He hadn’t seen Hollyn in days, and part of him was desperate to see her smiling face. But the other part of him just felt like a fraud. So when he saw the sunlight catch a mane of gold curls in the distance, he had equal parts excitement and trepidation crashing together inside him.
He lifted a hand in greeting as Hollyn got closer, and she caught sight of him, a smile lighting her face as she waved back. He couldn’t take his eyes off her as she walked his way. She was wearing a red sundress that fluttered around her legs in the breeze, and her hair was blowing wild. A sharp stab of longing hit him in the chest. The woman was beautiful. And interesting. And funny. And for a minute, she’d been his. He’d written his name on her skin.
But that marker had washed off by now, as had the shine on this arrangement.
After today, he’d never get to touch her that way again.
Hollyn ducked under a tree branch and met him at the edge of the blanket, smiling. “Hey, you.”
“Hey.” Jasper didn’t know what to do. He wanted to kiss her. Wanted to pick her up off her feet, wrap her legs around him, and kiss her until they were both dizzy from lack of breath. He leaned in for a hug instead.
She wrapped her arms around him, smelling like sunshine and Hollyn, and gave him a tight squeeze. “Long time no see.”
He released her and stepped back so he wouldn’t be tempted to go in for the kiss. “Yeah, it’s been crazy. Did you have a good time with Cal?”
Her cheek and nose twitched, and a flash of something flickered in her eyes. “Yeah, it was good seeing him.”
His stomach sank. He didn’t know how he knew, but he could feel the shift in her, the shields. Cal had told her about his feelings. Cal had told her he loved her, and she wasn’t telling Jasper about it. He should’ve been happy. That would make breaking this off easier. But he felt like punching something instead. “Great.”