No one in the room says a word and I swear you’d be able to hear a pin drop with how quiet it is.
“Tinsley,” Grigory says, clearing his throat.
Turning to face my cousin, I’m also met with a heated stare from Coyote.
Shit, did I say something wrong?
“She’ll do,” Izzy whispers and I whip my head back around to face the woman.
What the hell?
Seriously.
“Izzy, shut it,” The man, I now know as Twister reprimands.
Standing up from the stool, I turn to my cousin and Coyote. “I’m going to go lay down.” With that I put my head down and head out of the kitchen. Turning toward the hall I slowly make my way to the room.
I don’t know why Izzy’s words hurt me so much. I get she was protecting Coyote, but I wasn’t there to cause any harm to anyone. Nor was I there to cause problems.
I know I said I’d stay and let the club handle everything; however, maybe it would be best for everyone if I left. Get in a car and drive. Go somewhere where no one would find me.
Yeah, that’s what I should do. Making it to the door of the room I’d been in, I close my eyes as I put my hand on the knob and twist it to open. Once I’m in the room I close and lock it behind me, leaving me in the darkness of the room. Removing the hoodie I'd been wearing, I move toward the bathroom. I’d spotted it earlier. Granted it didn’t cross my mind at the time, the pain is more than I can bear.
Grabbing the razor off the counter, I break the plastic off in order to get the blades free. Three tiny blades that can do just what I need them to do. Sliding out of my leggings, I sit on the floor and in the darkness of the room, making the first slice into my skin. With these blades they are not big enough to do major damage but it gives me what I need. The stinging pain that wipes away all thoughts of what happened to me. Just as it did when the hooded man raped me. I just want it all to go away.
Slice after slice, I allow myself to become absorbed by the fact I’m not what everyone thinks. No one knows the real me. I’m not strong. I’m weak.
Chapter Twelve
Coyote
“Izzy, I swear to fuckin’ God, sometimes you don’t think when you do shit,” Twister tells his ol’ lady, turning Izzy to face him.
“I was thinking. Hell, I thought about it the whole way here,” she snaps.
“Do you realize that is Grigory’s cousin and he’s fuckin’ standing over there. And the fact you all but insulted his cousin in front of him, that’s not good Izzy. You know who he is and what he’s capable of. Shit, he’s been around the clubhouse more than enough times for you to know you don’t fuck with him,” Twister growls, holding her firmly in his arms.
“I know exactly who she is to him. That doesn’t matter to me. What matters is that I protect my family. Coyote and Cody are family,” Izzy yells, directly in his face.
“Izzy, love you woman, but I don’t need you to interfere. What I need for you to do is not make Tinsley feel like she doesn’t belong here. She’s my ol’ lady and you didn’t just disrespect her. You disrespected me,” I say firmly letting her know I’m pissed with her.
Sometimes with Izzy we have to deal with her with a firm but gentle hand. Especially when it comes to those closest to her. She’ll go to bat for anyone, but if you are in her heart then she’ll pull out the brass knuckles for you.
“As well as me, I respect your ol’ man but do not think I won’t protect Tinsley. I will do everything in my power to protect my cousin.” Grigory states as he focuses on Izzy before he turns it to Twister. “Twister, I expect you to deal with her punishment as I know you will; however, next time she does this I will handle it myself.”
“Grigory, you have my word Izzy will be apologizing to Tinsley, isn’t that right baby?” Twister says. As much as the man loves his wife he never puts up with her bullshit. Sure, he allows her to have her temper tantrums and be who she is. But at the same time, he knows when to reel her in and make sure she does what’s needed.
“I’m sorry, Grigory, and yes I will apologize to your cousin. But please understand where I’m coming from. I just want to make sure Coyote and Cody don’t get hurt,” Izzy says.
“Understandable; however, the next time you see a woman who's been beaten remember what you went through,” Grigory states.
Nodding her head, Izzy looks like she is going to be sick.
“Babe, none of us want to dredge up the past for you, but you need to let it sink in what you did was fucked up and not cool. I know I’m the only connection to your brother you have left. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll always be here for you. Cody will still be your nephew and neither of us are going to push you out of our lives. You just need to understand, I’m going to be who the hell I am and I’m going to be with who I want to be with. Tinsley’s that person,” I declare wanting her to let it all sink in.
“I hate to interrupt,” Victoria who’d been standing silently to the side speaks up, her brow furrowed. That’s never a good thing when it comes to her. Every one of my brothers respects her not only as Tracker’s ol’ lady but as a person.
“What’s up?” I ask.
“I know you all have church, but . . . you might want to check on Tinsley first. You all might have missed it, but I didn’t. And I’m sorry, Izzy, but what you did was a bitch move. I’m not saying you’re wrong for wanting to make sure she’s good enough; however, right now wasn’t the time. She’s been through enough shit considering that beating she took was because she refused to open her mouth about Coyote’s son being here,” Victoria says pausing briefly to scan the room. “But what I’m trying to say is Tinsley’s hurting more than she’s letting on. This shit is fuckin’ with her head. I don’t know if she’s known for self-harm . . .”
Before Victoria can say another word, Grigory curses. “Fuck, which room is she in,” he demands already heading for the door.
“Fourth door on the right,” I yell as I pass him and run down the hall toward the room she’d be in. Putting my hand around the doorknob I twist finding it locked. “Fuck.”
I don’t bother knocking on the door. From the way Grigory reacted, I know something’s wrong. I lift one of my booted feet and kick at the doorknob with enough strength that it breaks, letting the door swing open.
Stepping into the room, I flick the lights on as I go. “Tinsley,” I call out, not seeing her in the room.
“Bathroom,” Grigory mutters.
Nodding I make my way to the bathroom door. “Tinsley, you in there?” I say putting my hand on the door.
“Umm, give me a second.” I hear her yell through the door.
“Open the door, baby,” I order.
“Hang on,” she says as I hear the water from the sink turn on.
I’m about to bust the door down when she unlocks and opens the door.
Seeing the puffiness in her eyes, I know she’s been crying.
“You okay, Luce Mia?” I ask, pulling her to me.
“Yeah,” she whispers.
“Tinsley, look at me,” Grigory demands.