“Fuck,” I mutter.
“Yeah, you can say that. I blame myself for what happened to him. I have to focus on everything else in order to keep from becoming murderous. That night was the first time I ever took a life and that was because I’d bashed the fucker’s head into the steering wheel repeatedly for taking my baby brother from me,” Shadow all but spits the last part out.
“I’m sorry, brother.” I know he doesn’t want or need apologies, but he’s got it anyway.
“Look, Coyote, I don’t tell people this shit because I don’t want to talk about it. I hate dredging up that fucked up night. But you need to hear this. We all have something or someone we’ve lost. Pain is in us all and that woman you claimed is hurting. More than you think. You leaving the way you did didn’t help the situation. I heard what she said just as much as you did. She thinks she’s not good enough for anyone and you storming out the way you did, proves her point.”
“Bullshit, I left because if I didn’t, I’d have destroyed the clubhouse and I didn’t want her to see the anger. I’m fucked up, Shadow. I mean fucked up,” I say.
“Yeah, we all are. It’s only a matter of how you handle being fucked up,” Shadow shrugs at the advice he’s dishing out.
“When did you become the all-knowing wise one?” I grin.
“Not the wise one, just the shadow that sees all without the emotions intact,” he grumbles, brushing a hand through his hair.
Shaking my head at my brother, I don’t respond to him instead I look up to the sky. “Do you think she has what it takes to tame what’s inside me?” I ask.
“Brother, that woman has more balls than most other women. She took a beating and didn’t give up your son’s location. I think she’s got it in her to tame the beast that’s inside you,” Shadow rasps.
Nodding my head, I close my eyes and send a thank you. Because for some reason, I swear Chase was here and those were the words he’d have said.
Chapter Fifteen
Tinsley
Talk about foot in mouth.
Of course, he’d leave after overhearing something like that. I mean who wouldn’t, it just goes to show how damaged I am.
No man wants to claim someone who can't fight off an attacker.
“He’s just pissed right now, sweetheart, give him a little bit to calm down,” Blaze says as he puts a hand on my shoulder and squeezes it reassuringly. Stoney moves around him to Rachel’s side and helps her up.
I stare at the two of them seeing the way she leans into him when he’s near and how he seems to gravitate to her. They are perfect for each other the way my mom told me a couple should be. It’s the reason she never was able to find someone else after my dad.
Soulmates.
I know it’s silly, but I find it to be true. Seeing the way Stoney is with Rachel. Thinking about the way Tracker looks at Victoria. The way Blaze handles Raven. Well not handle her like she’s property, but doesn’t let her do something that he thinks could get her into trouble. Victoria and Raven are somewhat wild cards. Raven more so than Victoria. What they all have is what I want with someone. Granted, I know it won’t ever happen.
I nod my head in response; however, I highly doubt he’ll calm down. He did look like he was ready to go rip apart anything he could.
“Blaze, do you know if I can get a ride out to my apartment? I need to get some of my things.” I really did need a few things, but I mainly wanted to get out of the clubhouse for a bit.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Tinsley,” he mutters.
“Tinsley, you might want to wait a bit,” Stoney says.
“Please, I really would like to get a few things of my own and I could use some fresh air outside of the clubhouse,” I argue glancing between the two men.
“I’ll take her,” I turn my head at the voice and see it’s Venom. What is up with these men and being able to sneak up on someone?
“You sure?” Blaze and Stoney ask at the same time.
“Yeah, I’ll take her and bring her back,” Venom states.
“Thank you,” I murmur, glancing up at the man who’s willing to do this for me. For a guy named Venom, you would think he would be more, I don’t know, but he really should have been named something more like Ares. Beautiful as he is, his eyes show the wars that are within him. I’d heard him and Whip just got out of the Army. So maybe that’s why he has that look in him.
“I don’t like the idea, but take Shadow and Whip with you,” Stoney mutters, nodding his head.
“Me either,” Blaze grumbles.
“Shadow went after Coyote. I’ll grab Whip and see if Neo will head out with us,” Venom says.
Neo? Wait that’s right, Victoria and Raven had told me about him and Cane the other day. They both just received their patches not too long ago that included a huge ass party that thankfully I’d missed. From the stories I’ve heard of the clubwhores that come in here, I’m not sure I could handle seeing them pawing at Coyote in front of me. Worse I don’t think I can handle seeing him enjoying it.
“That’ll work. Just don’t take your time. You’re not back before Coyote gets here, he’s gonna lose his shit more than when he finds out you left while he was gone,” Stoney grunts.
“We’ll have her back before then, Prez,” Venom says.
“Umm, I don’t understand why he would lose his shit about finding out I went to get some of my things,” I state in confusion.
“Because, babe, if you were my ol’ lady and had just been beaten near to death, I wouldn’t allow you to go anywhere without me. Better yet, I’d have put you on lock down in a room until the danger surrounding you was gone,” Venom declares, his eyes locked directly on me as he explains this to me.
“Tinsley, the guys around here are a little on the protective side. Shoot they tried to keep me from leaving here, but I’d escaped and got Milley . . .” Rachel stops before she can say anything else as tears fill her eyes.
“It’s okay, Doll. You don’t need to bring it up. I’m sure Tinsley gets what you mean. Besides, you bring up the fact you got away from my men and I might have to spank your ass for bringing up the very idea of it,” Stoney murmurs holding Rachel even closer to him. Rachel tilts her head back enough in order for him to lean down and press his mouth to hers.
“So, umm, how about we get out of here then. I’d hate to make anyone madder by being out past curfew,” I say, jokingly.
Smirking, Venom shakes his head and holds an arm out, “After you,” he mutters.
“Don’t mind if I do,” I say, doing my best to be a smart ass. The way I’m trying to figure it out in my head is if I’m a smart ass then my earlier emotions won’t protrude through the wall I’m trying to rebuild. I don’t want to think of what will happen when Coyote comes back to the clubhouse.
Pulling into the parking spot next to where my car is parked, mixed emotions fill me. Victoria had told me that when the brothers found me, Coyote had held me in his arms the whole way to the clubhouse as someone else drove my car. Now seeing it parked in its spot it looks as if it hadn’t even moved. She’d also told me they’d brought it back so they could get Coyote’s and the other guys’ bikes.