Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath to prepare for this next part.
“About four years ago, I was in my apartment alone, Grigory always taught me to make sure I checked windows and doors before bed. For some reason, I didn’t do that and I woke up to a hooded man on top of me. He . . . he’d ripped my panties off my legs and was seated inside me. I wasn’t able to fight him off me. Worse was before Grigory got to me the hooded man had already taken me once and was still going. I don’t know how much more I could have endured if my cousin hadn’t come into the apartment when he did.”
“Tinsley, you don’t have to say anymore,” Rachel whispers, tears filling her eyes.
“No, it’s okay. I don’t mind.” I say. “Grigory put a bullet in the guy’s head without hesitation. Unfortunately, the hooded man was still on top of me. I can still feel his blood on my skin and his body on top of mine. It’s why I know I’ll never be good enough for anyone.”
By the time I finish, I lift my gaze to meet Rachel’s as I prepare myself for what I hope isn’t pity that I’ll meet. Only she isn’t looking at me but rather staring over my head. Tilting my head, I find my breath catching in my throat at the sight of not just Coyote standing there but Stoney, Tracker, Blaze, and several others.
From the tension that seems to be filling the room now, I’m guessing they just heard me telling Rachel what happened to me.
Fuck my life.
Chapter Fourteen
Coyote
After coming out of church, I wasn’t in the best of moods. Not after finding out exactly who we were dealing with. Nerd was finally able to piece together everything that was what I’d like to call the Clusterfuck of Milley’s Life.
Talk about confusing as hell.
Even though the father wasn’t listed on the birth records, Nerd was able to find him. That information in itself wasn’t good. Daddy dearest was the leader of the Demon Raiders gang who discarded Milley’s mom after finding out she’d been knocked up. What’s worse though was when she’d given birth, she gave birth to twins, Mason and Milley. Matthew, the twin’s father, he’d taken Mason, leaving Milley to her mother. Didn’t even want her until she was old enough to be of use to him. He’d died before then and Mason took his place as head of the Demon Raiders.
The motherfucker is insane. According to the records we’d found on him, Mason likes to beat on women. Uses them to his advantage and if he doesn’t kill them, he hands them over to his second in command, Sam. When I’d looked at the file Nerd had on both of them, I could barely see straight. What Mason does not do to those women; Sam does. No woman is left to speak of the horrors they suffer. The only reason Milley lasted as long as she had was due to being promised to Sam.
So, hearing Tinsley telling Rachel about the night she’d been raped didn’t bode well with me. I was unable to see straight. My vision blurs at hearing the pain in her voice. If the fucker was still alive, I’d gut him with the steel claws I have and use when needed.
“Brother,” Shadow murmurs from behind me.
Shaking my head, I walk away from everyone. I ignore the pain that shines in Tinsley’s eyes. I ignore all my brothers calling my name. Heading out the front door, I stride straight to my bike and straddle her. I need to get away for a bit.
Bringing her to life with a roar, I back out of my spot and hit the throttle, gun it down the road that leads away from the clubhouse to the main road. That’s the thing about our clubhouse, it’s set where no one can see it and you can’t find it unless you know where to look or get an invite.
Letting the wind hit me, I fight the screams in my head telling me I’m fucked for leaving Tinsley at the clubhouse the way I had. But I can’t handle this shit right now. It’s too fuckin’ much. I already don’t know what I’m doing when it comes to taking care of Cody. I love my son. From the moment he was placed in my arms I’ve loved him and I’ll do anything for him.
But when it comes to women, it seems I can’t get my shit together.
First, Izzy, I swore on my best friend's grave I’d always take care of his sister. Protect her from being harmed. She might have been a rebellious teenager but it’s not like her parents gave a shit about her. She’d been hurting to the point she wanted to kill herself. I may have stopped her that day, but it wasn’t me who protects her now and has been there for her. That is all her ol’ man, Twister.
Then there’s Milley, granted I wasn’t with her. I fucked up, I should have gotten her fuckin’ name before I’d fucked her. If I’d done that maybe she wouldn’t be dead right now but holding her son. A son who will never know his birth mother because of some sick bastard who beat her to death.
And last there’s Tinsley, she went through so much. I hadn’t even protected her from herself a week ago when she’d cut herself. Fuck, I hadn’t even thought to make sure she was okay mentally. I’d been dealing with a bunch of other shit in my head and making my claim on her, I didn’t fuckin’ think.
Seeing the sign for my hometown, I realize I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going. More like my body was taking me where I needed to go. Pulling off the exit, I headed for the cemetery where Chase’s grave is.
I park the bike and climb off. Putting my hands in my pockets, I stride through the rows of headstones wondering how many of them had died at such a young age.
Stopping in front of the stone I’ve sat against many times over the years. I stare down at my friend’s name. Chase was more than just a friend though, he was my brother.
Sighing, I sit down, and lean against his headstone. “I fucked up, man,” I murmur, lowering my head.
“You’d be fuckin’ pissed at me if you were here now. Shit, you probably would have already beaten my ass for not protecting Izzy from herself. Now I’ve got a kid I’m trying to do right by. He’s only a month old and has people wanting to kill him. Then there’s this beautiful woman who brought him to me. She’s done everything she could to protect him. When the fuckers found her she didn’t even give up where Cody was. Fuck man, Tinsley has so much pain in her life already she doesn’t deserve this kinda life.”
Closing my eyes, I sit there in silence for a while, trying to block everything out.
“You know it was supposed to be you and me against the world. Damnit Chase, who am I gonna ask about what to do? I have my brothers with the club, but I need my brother from another mother.”
“Brother, he’s always gonna be your brother.” I jerk my head up to find Shadow standing there.
“What are you doing here?” I demand but I shouldn’t be surprised he’s here.
“No one rides alone. Remember. We ride through hell to get to the other side. Well we can’t do that unless we’re a unit,” he shrugs.
“The other week you said you knew how I was feeling, what did you mean?” I ask.
Sighing, Shadow dropped his head, sat down next to me and leaned against Chase’s headstone.
“No one knows this, but I had a little brother, fourteen months younger than me. In high school we’d all been out partying, he was in the truck with me. I hadn’t had but two beers the entire night and he was plastered. So were the other two people in the back seat. I was driving us back home and a deer ran out in front of us. I’d swerved to miss it and ended up in a ditch. It wasn’t deep so if we’d pushed together, we’d have gotten it out easily. Well in the process of doing this Daniel moved toward the driver’s side door so he could climb in and put the gears in neutral. Instead of climbing in he’d stumbled backwards right as a car came flying around the curve. It was like slow motion yet happened so fuckin’ quick. He was gone before he hit the ground.”