I’d only lived here for a month, but I’d started to make it into a home for myself. Now I can’t think of it as anything but part of a nightmare. One that I don’t want to ever remember. I want to put it in the back of my mind with the memory of the hooded man.
When I told Rachel earlier about inner demons being embedded into someone, I wasn’t lying. Mine are deep within me and I like to think of them being locked in a box buried away where I can’t see them. Kind of like that saying, ‘Out of sight, out of mind.”
“You ready,” Venom asks as he pulls the key from the ignition.
Taking a deep breath, I nod my head and open the door. Climbing out, I glance around the area feeling as if I’m being watched, even though the only people I see in the parking lot are Whip and Neo, who are sitting astride their bikes.
Maybe I should have waited for Coyote. Or better yet just made a list of what I wanted and asked them to go get it. Right now, I’m petrified of going into my apartment. Nevertheless, I’m going to pull my big girl panties on and get this done. After today, I’ll ask if the guys can pack my stuff and put it in storage until I can find another place to live.
I just need to get to that point of feeling safe again.
Chapter Sixteen
Coyote
On the way back to the clubhouse, Shadow and I rode next to each other. It was good having him with me. What he’d told me about his little brother really sunk in with me. I know Blaze lost his daughter when she was a baby and that is as hard as it gets. But losing a sibling or close to it is another form of gut-wrenching torture.
Top that off with losing the mother of your child before you even know about the kid, it’s a roundhouse kick to the face rather than a slap.
I took the time to think of a way to show Tinsley what she means to me. I figured telling her won’t do justice to what she deserves. Or for that matter what she’ll believe.
Actions speak louder than words and showing her will prove my point.
Pulling into the clubhouse parking lot, I park my bike in my usual spot as Shadow moves to park his bike in the spot near mine.
Sitting back on my girl, I take a deep breath before turning the key and silencing the night.
Climbing off the back of my bike, I straighten and face the door to the clubhouse.
“Brother, you got this,” Shadow says as he joins me. “Just be who you are and tell her what’s going on in your head.”
Nodding my head, I stride toward the door, ready to get this over with and hopefully, maybe finally claim my woman in the way I’ve been dying to do. Well at least close to it considering I have to wait for her to heal some more.
As I scan the room, I find all the ol’ ladies sitting at a table, but Tinsley isn’t with them. I furrow my brow while I walk in their direction. They should know where she is.
“Hey, Coyote,” Raven says, smiling when she sees me approaching the table.
“Coyote,” Victoria also smiles as Rachel glances at me with sadness in her showing in her eyes.
“Y’all know where Tinsley is?” I ask, getting right to it.
“You sure you want to know?” Rachel asks, quietly.
“Yeah from what I heard you stormed out of here after overhearing her story, which by the way was a dick move,” Victoria states.
“Where is she?” I mutter through clenched teeth. I’m honestly not in the mood for this shit. All I want is to find Tinsley, grab Cody, and take them to my room and lock out the rest of the world while I spend time with only them.
“She’s actually in your room with Cody,” Raven says.
“Thanks,” I murmur, immediately, not thinking about the fact she’s already in my room. Never before has she been in there. Let alone been by herself with Cody. Not that I haven’t wanted her to be alone with him. I simply wanted her to have someone around because she was hurting.
“Coyote?” Raven calls out as I start to head toward the hallway.
“Yeah?” Turning around, I find her standing, a small bump in front of her.
Blaze is at her side instantly and I know that look. It’s one she gets when she’s about to tell me something.
“Don’t think of Tinsley as weak. She’s not Milley and needs to be shown that what she’s done, that’s not weakness. There is this brightness that surrounds Tinsley, yet she doesn’t see it. Power comes in different forms, but when it comes to her it’s brighter than most. She’s the one who is supposed to hold your heart the way you hold hers. Two spirits connecting. The animal within finds the light it needs to survive,” Raven murmurs as she leans into Blaze.
Blinking at her, I don’t know what to say. Since she and Blaze finally got together Raven sometimes speaks in riddles. But with this one, I get the point Raven is making.
Nodding my head, I turn back to go to my room. I let Raven’s words sink in just as I get to my door.
Tinsley thinks of herself as weak. That is where I need to start. By showing her that she is nothing but strength. And I am going to be the anchor for her that keeps her strong within herself.
Opening the door to my room, I find soft music playing from the stereo and Tinsley sitting in the middle of my bed, her head tilted down looking at something in front of her. Scanning the room for Cody, I spot him in his playpen asleep.
I really need to get a house. He deserves to have his own room. Plus, I’ll need him in another room if I ever intend to have Tinsley beneath me at some point.
As the door closes behind me Tinsley’s head pops up.
“Hey,” she murmurs.
“Hey, Luce Mia. You okay?” Stupid question I know, but still I gotta ask.
“Umm, yeah,” she nods, putting the pencil she’d been holding down.
Quirking a brow, I slowly make my way to the edge of the bed and peer down at what she was doing. My heart all but stops at what I’m seeing.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, I pick up the sketchbook to take a better look. How she was able to capture such detail in this without even seeing it is amazing.
“This is beautiful, baby.” Holding the drawing in one hand, I trace over the details with my other hand. Cody in my arms as I smile down at him.
Fuck, this is better than any photo.
It has meaning.
“Thank you.” Lifting a hand, she brushes a strand of hair behind her ear that had fallen in her face.
I put the book down and reach for her hand. “Tinsley,” I murmur.
“I . . . I’m sorry for being in your room. Cody was tired and I figured he’d sleep better in his own space. The girls said it would be okay.” The fear in her gaze is like a punch to the gut.
“Luce Mia, you can come in here whenever the hell you want to. I don’t have a problem with it. I actually would prefer if you were in here with me permanently.” At my words, Tinsley’s eyes widen in surprise.
“What?” she whispers.
“Baby, it’s not like I haven’t made it known that I claimed you. In the eyes of the club you’re my ol’ lady.” I say lifting a hand to cup her cheek. “I know me walking out the way I did earlier was upsetting for you, and I don’t blame you for being upset with me. It was a shit thing to do. After hearing what you thought of yourself pissed me the fuck off. Those men are nothing but monsters who deserve to burn in the depths of Tartarus for what they’ve done.”