Okay. See? That there was the plan. That doctor. That specialist would make his mom better. That doctor would find the path to save his mother. There was no one tougher than his mother. In fact, he’d heard AJ say that the doctor who diagnosed her believed she’d lived with a large amount of reoccurring pain before she even started seek help. She thought it was just aging. She ignored blaring signs of on going bloating, constipation, abdominal pain, back pain and on the list went. All occurred frequently and were gaining frequency and intensity each month. But his mother really didn’t think to go have any check her out. So being that tough? It would aid her recovery. She’d face… chemo and targeted chemo, whatever they were mulling over. She’d do surgery and get that fucker cut out of her. She’d do it all. And fiercely beat it. She would. He knew it. He didn’t doubt it from the moment he heard about the Seattle Specialist. That’s who would heal his mother.
Asher tried his hardest to function normally. He relied on Kyomi for support. But the hollowness that consumed him spilled into each and every interaction he had, including those with Kyomi. It wasn’t her fault. She remained kind, quiet, and accommodating. Never forcing him to talk to her or reciting annoying platitudes, she was more than perfect in helping him deal with it.
The only problem was: Kyomi could not help Asher.
Why? Because she was not Daisy.
Only Daisy could improve his outlook just by being near him. Daisy made everything better. Just sitting in a car next to her felt better than sitting alone. As always, their undeniable chemistry connected them. Something always freaking connected him. Asher grieved when he’d lost Daisy and managed to go on with his life, but their damn connection popped right back into place as if no time passed. As if he never got over her.
Asher had proceeded to live happily. He was sure of it. But seeing Daisy again and having her there with him felt… normal. His chest ached with pleasure to see her sitting in the car beside him and hear her talking to his mother at his parents’ house. Being there with him was a treat.
But of course, she only came there because of his mother’s illness.
Asher was numb so his feelings never entered the equation. He seemed blank and vacant. His soul went dark, falling into a bottomless hole. All the light and joy and love that once filled him was gone. He wasn’t mean or hurtful, but neither was he empathetic or caring. He existed simply because he didn’t die. However, there was nothing remarkable or meaningful to his existence.
Asher hid himself in physical work. He threw himself into it as if his life depended on it. Each night he literally crashed into bed with aching muscles and a brain so drained, he failed to form a coherent thought. He liked that feeling now.
When Daisy left to return to work after being in River’s End for a week, he didn’t care. That didn’t bother him. No. He wasn’t relying on her for his welfare. If she were there or not didn’t faze him. He knew he had to accept reality so he pretended that his mother would be fine. There was no other outcome in Asher’s mind.
He ignored reality and all the ugly whispers echoing in his brain. He had to. There was no other choice.
Kate sought the second opinion from an internationally recognized expert on her particular cancer.
The news wasn’t any different. Only confirmed. The cancer had spread to her surrounding organs and bones. It would require extensive interventions. And lots of luck and hope.
Her prognosis was bullshit in Asher’s opinion. She had to be fine. She just had to be. She’d beat this. Fight it and win.
Why not? That was exactly how she’d always lived. And Asher should have accepted that? How could he live with that philosophy? How could he let her go?
Never. Not ever. But no one asked him.
For six months, Daisy traveled regularly from Chicago to home. She usually spent three days at work and four in River’s End. It kept her busy, and the tough schedule created a lot of dread sometimes. Too much flying and time at the airport annoyed her, but it simply was the way it had to be. She had to console her family, and Kate’s illness was ripping through all the Rydell and Reed family members. But obviously, she was mostly there for Asher.
Now things were getting tougher. Kate underwent surgery that revealed the cancer had spread much farther than they expected. It was metastasizing too fast. They couldn’t get it all. She failed to respond to the chemotherapy also. She was in constant pain. First from the surgery. It was incredibly painful. Then nausea, vomiting, terrible bloating and a fatigue she said she couldn’t find the words to explain. She lost her hair, and much of her will to smile.
It seemed to go quick and brutal, but also last forever. Watching someone suffer so much… there was nothing easy about it. She had palliative care, a team that helped in non surgical ways, with all manners of her treatment phases. They helped figure out what medicines to give her and when. When to increase or decrease them depending on her symptoms. They even provided emotional support for the extreme stress the situation caused Kate and the entire family. The palliative care team were the only positives of the entire situation.
It was after five months of trying everything they could that Kate started gently saying words like it’s enough. She’d tried. She was tired… it was just… not working.
Words like terminal started to enter the equation.
And then plans were made to make Kate as comfortable as they could and to have the best quality of life for the time she had left became the very last course of her treatment.
“You two still love each other, don’t you?”
Daisy whipped her head up when Kate’s soft tone interrupted her sad, cyclical thoughts. Immediately, she rose from the chair placed at the side of Kate’s bed. Daisy was quietly sitting with her and watching her.
Kate’s ravaged body was noticeably smaller and much thinner. The brief, incredibly cruel fight took its toll on her. Her hair was mostly gone. Her pale skin was bruised and as thin as crepe paper. Her once startling, vibrant, bold beauty was no more than a fading remnant of vitality and zeal. The once tall, lithe form she embodied was rapidly withering. Her bones seemed too big for her skin to cover them.
Daisy came closer so Kate didn’t have to lift her head or speak loudly.
“Asher and you.”
“Yes.” Tears instantly fell from Daisy’s eyes. She wasn’t strong or silent. She never was even when she wanted to be. She could not hold her feelings inside. And she could not deny the truth to Kate. The thirteen-year-old boy she always loved grew into the man she never quite got over.
But watching him deteriorate daily as his mother waited to die? Like this? All the love she felt from the past exploded once more inside her heart and guts.
“I thought you knew what I could see so clearly. You were always such a bright girl.”
“Not a flake?” Daisy inserted with a small smile.
“Nah. Just curious and unwilling to settle for less. I admire that. Not even for a guy.”
“Even if that guy is your son?”
Kate’s head moved infinitesimally. “Even then. I understood and I was sad for both of you.”
“And now?”
“Just acknowledging what I observe with you home.”
Daisy lifted her gaze and stared at the headboard. “Yes, Kate, it’s all true. Are you going to tell me life is short and you have to grab love while you can?”