He was going to be gutted if things didn’t go in his favor. No one who watched him with Jewel could doubt his care for her. Shane himself was guilty of being skeptical early on, but Brandt had proven himself over and over. He’d said at the hotel that he was going to need Shane even if he didn’t end up with custody. Shane hoped that was true even as his back tightened. He wasn’t sure he could bear it if Brandt pushed him away, because their connection went so much deeper than childcare for Shane.
As Cameron went over their game plan for the hearing, Shane continued to scan the wide hallway, honestly not sure what he was hoping for. Nothing about this was simple. His throat was dry, so he excused himself to go to the water fountain as they waited for their case to be called.
He got his drink at the end of the hall and was about to turn to head back when he spotted a familiar figure hunched over on a bench around the corner.
“Shelby?” He hurried over. “The hearing is—”
“I know where it is.” She wore a red-and-white sundress, and her hair was more done than the last time he’d seen her, but she was too thin and pale for the Shelby he knew so well.
“Okay.” He didn’t wait for permission to sit down next to her. Experience had shown him that him looming over her with a lecture never ended well for either of them. “You came.”
“Yeah.” She rolled her eyes, undoubtedly already fed up with him pointing out the obvious. “Not sure why though.”
Shane forced himself to take a big breath. And another. Brandt’s chances here could be riding on what he said next and whether or not he could get beyond the anger already starting to bubble up again.
“Maybe because you care?” There. He managed to keep his voice Brandt-level gentle, not accusatory.
“Do I?” Giving a weary sigh, she rolled her slim shoulders. “I’m not sure. Like you said the other day. I left my kid with you. I did that.”
“I kept her safe. You could have done worse.” Thinking about that made bile rise in his throat, but maybe it needed to be said that she had tried to get Jewel to someone trustworthy, even if her methods left a lot to be desired.
“Yeah.” She kicked at a gouge in the white linoleum, dark mark marring the otherwise gleaming surface. “You hate me now, I guess.”
Why couldn’t it have been Brandt who discovered Shelby? Shane wasn’t cut out for a pep talk. But he could speak from his heart, give her the truth. “I was mad when you showed back up. But I don’t hate you, Shelby. I never have.”
“You get tired of my shit. Being my keeper.” Not looking at him, she dug the toe of her sandal into the gouge.
“Maybe patience isn’t my strong suit.” Shane owed it to all of them to admit to his own failings here. Shelby wasn’t the only one with past actions to regret. “And maybe I wasn’t there when you needed it most.”
“You were this time. You got the baby to Brandt at least.” Twisting her hands around her purse, she gave him a half smile that never made it past one corner of her mouth.
“Yeah.” The last few weeks rushed by on fast forward in his brain—every late night and long look and little joke. All that had happened simply because he’d had nowhere else to turn. “He’s a good dad. Thank you for leaving the birth certificate with her.”
“I liked the name,” she whispered.
“It’s a good name. Think about what you want for everything else.” Shane’s throat was dry again. He was so out of his depth here, but he also couldn’t stop trying to make things right, make Shelby see the full picture. “But he’s so good with Jewel. She’s lucky to have him.”
“And you?” Finally meeting his gaze, she raised an eyebrow. “You lucky too?”
Figured that she’d want to focus on that particular detail. But rather than get angry, he went for honest again. If he was going to fuck this up, at least he could say he’d been truthful and hadn’t let his temper win. “Yeah. I am.”
“You and him hooking up was the last thing I expected...”
“Me too.” Laughing, he turned his palms up. “Please don’t hold that against him. Be mad at me all you want, but he loves that baby.”
“Is that what you think I came to do? To punish him? And you?” Shelby’s voice was sharper, each word a snare waiting for him to trip.
“I don’t know.” He wasn’t lying. He honestly had no clue what was motivating her at that moment, and that more than anything made his heart speed up. “I hope not. You’re a good person.”
“Good person who abandoned her infant.” She pursed her lips as her hand tightened its grip on her purse. “Says so in the court documents plain as day.”
“That’s the official legalese. I know you, Shelby.” Taking a breath, Shane closed his eyes, picturing Shelby at eleven, all knobby knees and enthusiastic audience. She’d been trouble, but the fun kind. His constant companion, the one thing he could count on as they uprooted yet again. “I know the sister who used to share half her candy with me and who listened to my songs for hours and who made long road trips fun. You’ve got a good soul.”
“You mean that?” Her voice was so soft that he had to strain to hear the question.
“I love you. And I love that baby.” He was pretty sure he loved Brandt too, but this probably wasn’t the moment to add that. Instead he took her hand, holding it tight. “I think deep down you know what the right thing to do is here.”
“Brandt says I need help.” Pulling her hand free, she shook her head. “But maybe it’s just me. Screwing up, over and over. Same old Shelby.”
“You’ve got a chance here to do something different. Change the pattern. I believe in you.” Shane put all the conviction he could into his voice. “And yes, get help. I want to help you. So does Brandt. A lot of people care about you.”
“I—”
“We’re about to start.” Still wearing Jewel, Brandt came rushing around the corner, only to pull up short as his eyes went wide. “Shelby.”
“Brandt.”
So much meaning in those two words. It was impossible to read the tone of either of their voices, and silence stretched long and awkward until Cameron strode up.
“We need to head in now.” Cameron gestured back at the courtroom. The previous group of people were streaming out and an official-looking person stood by the door. This was it. And hell if Shane had any clue what was going to happen. All he could do was hope that he hadn’t made things worse, hadn’t ruined Brandt’s chances. Or his own.