Maybe Brandt needed to go over there. Say something. Make this hurt less for all of them. But as he turned, Cameron stopped him.
“Let them have their moment,” she said gently. “There’s a lot of big feelings right now, yours included.”
“I hate that it came to this.”
“I know. And you’ll have a chance later to work toward something more amicable. But you did the best thing for Jewel here.”
“Yeah.” His chest still ached though, more so as Shelby continued to cling to Shane. This too was a type of trust, trusting that Shane could handle his sister, that he didn’t need Brandt swooping in to save the day.
“Well, that was fast.” Hartman, looking all spiffy in a dress shirt and tie, separated himself from the rest of the crowd in the hallway.
“You came?” Brandt had to blink. Not only did Hartman look like some sort of software ad, but he’d come to Brandt’s hearing?
“Cameron said you might need a character witness if your motion became contested.” Hartman nodded at Cameron, who was shuffling papers into her briefcase.
“Thanks. You didn’t have to. But thanks.” Brandt lightly cuffed him on the arm.
“Of course I didn’t have to. But I wanted to.” Hartman made a silly face at Jewel, who was awake now. “And I wanted to check on you. Linc and I flipped a coin as to who got to come. He’s worried about you too.”
“Appreciated.” Brandt had any number of acquaintances, but he couldn’t say as he had many others who would show up for a court date. “And I’m okay.”
“Good. As your friend, I’m happy for you that things worked out today.” Clucking Jewel under the chin, Hartman took a moment to make another face for her before straightening. “And as your coworker, I gotta ask when we can expect you back. Miss you, buddy.”
Oh. Brandt should have anticipated this question. He opened his mouth. Closed it.
“Or if we can expect you back.”
“I’m gonna take some time.” Brandt readjusted the sling as Jewel started squirming.
Hartman nodded. “It’s complicated, I get it.”
“My chute didn’t open.” He kept his voice low. Shane was the only person whom he’d told about the fear dogging him, how it was making it hard to concentrate on the job, how it had brought all his priorities into stark focus.
“I know. Scary as fuck.” Hartman fisted his hands. Similarly, Brandt’s neck was tight as rigging done right. Talking frankly like this about the risks of their work was damn hard. “You’ve got to think about your kid first.”
“Yeah, I do. I might be all she’s got.” That wasn’t precisely true. She had Shane and other people who cared about her. But the court had given Brandt custody, and he took that responsibility seriously. He rolled his shoulders. “I need some time to figure out what my next move should be.”
“Makes sense.”
Down the hall, Shane was still talking with Shelby. Brandt truly hoped Shane was able to convince her to get help if that was what she needed to get back on track.
“I might be spending some time in LA.”
“That right?” Hartman followed Brandt’s gaze to Shane. “Well, if you end up there long-term, I’ve got a contact on a helitack crew down there. If you start thinking about other jobs in the fire community, let me know. I’ll hook you up.”
“I’m kind of taken—”
“So’s he.” Hartman gave a dry chuckle. “I just meant any crew, anywhere would be lucky to have you, Wilder. And your kid is lucky too.”
Brandt had to swallow hard. “You’re not mad?”
“Nah. We’ve got a bushel of rookies all eager for airtime and jump reps. We’ll be okay. And God knows you’ve earned the leave. Is this your first time off in ten years?”
“Pretty much.” Brandt’s paystub from the agency listed enough leave to have more than one payroll person call him to verify whether the number was a typo. The job had been everything for him for so long. Leaving it, even temporarily, wasn’t easy. But he wanted to hold tight to what he’d found with Shane and Jewel.
“Well, enjoy it.” Hartman’s laugh sounded genuine enough, which loosened some of Brandt’s tension. He hadn’t liked feeling like he’d be letting people down by taking time off.
“I’ll try.” Again his gaze found Shane. His eyes were weary, a certain heaviness to his shoulders and his steps as he walked back toward Brandt. They needed to get out of this place, out of these clothes, out of the stress of the past few days. Back to being them. Back to a place where he could show Shane how much he meant to Brandt.
Chapter Thirty
“Man. What a day.” Shane emerged from his shower to find Brandt on the couch, no baby in hand. She’d been hard to settle after her long day, so Brandt had eventually waved him off so he could rock her in the dark. Looked like it worked.
“It was.” Brandt stretched before motioning Shane closer. He looked older, like the court stuff had aged him. It had certainly taken a lot out of all of them. Brandt’s eyes creased as Shane came nearer to the couch. “You okay?”
“Yeah. Just...long day.” He couldn’t help the sigh that escaped. He wished he’d been able to convince Shelby to stick around long enough to maybe see a doctor or counselor, but she’d said she wanted to get back to Macy’s tour. She needed a better plan than that, but Shane didn’t know how to force her to get help. She’d put the baby first though, so that was a step. Not enough. But something.
And the way she’d hugged him had stripped away years of uneasy feelings. He loved his sister. He wanted her to make better choices. He wanted her happy and healthy. Seeing her cry had been like taking a fist to the gut. He’d teared up too. Nothing about this thing was easy, and as relieved as he was for Brandt and Jewel, the finality of having a court judgment was also sobering.
“I’m worried about her too.” Brandt nodded like he’d caught on to Shane’s thoughts. “Today wasn’t really a win for anyone.”
“It was for Jewel.” He didn’t like how down Brandt sounded, so he forced out a more optimistic tone. “She gets some stability. And she gets you.”
That got half a smile from Brandt. “Thank you for believing in me.”
“Anytime.” He let Brandt capture his hand and tug Shane onto the couch. He was too tall for Brandt’s lap, but Brandt seemed to want him there anyway, arranging them this way and that until they were partially reclined together, him wedged between Brandt’s legs. Not entirely comfortable, but he loved the nearness, especially when Brandt kissed the side of his head.