Ugh. Teenage boys are the worst. They seriously need to get off the porn.
But at least all those experiences make me thankful to be with a guy like Luke. Maybe everything happens for a reason.
He just gets me in a way that no guy ever has. Even before the craziness of Operation Romper was on the table, when we would go out in Buenos Aires we just had an ease around each other.
Now, it feels like he’s still the same Luke, my big tall friend whom I have the best in-depth chats with—except that sex is very much on the table.
Specifically, on the table for tonight.
“You almost done in there?” Roger calls out, thumping on the door.
Shoot. I’m taking a long time, reflecting here, and there are six other people who live in this house.
“Just a few more minutes! Use the downstairs bathroom if you really have to go.”
“This bathroom’s better though—you know the downstairs is cold! Heat rises in the winter!”
“Sorry!”
I open up the door a crack to offer Roger my pleading eyes.
“Sorry for monopolizing the good bathroom. I’m just a little nervous.”
“For Gamma Rose?”
“Yes.”
“Well, you’re not the only one who needs to get ready for that, you know.”
“Sorry! I’ll finish up in a jiff.”
Roger scrunches up his expression into his thinking face. “You’re still nervous having a date with your boyfriend? Well it’s good to know you’re keeping the spark alive.”
I sigh. I might as well tell someone. “It’s just that, we haven’t done, you know, it, and we’re going to go for it today. Maybe.”
Roger’s face turns up in surprise. “If you haven’t done “it,” then what are all the noises I’ve been hearing from your room?” He squints, nods and then goes, “Oooohhh. I gotcha, sister. So you’ve rounded third base but haven’t made it home yet.”
“Precisely.”
Thanks to Luke I’m now up to date on the baseball bases-sex analogies. First base is kissing. Second is when the nipple comes out. Third is oral sex. A home run is all the way. And a grand slam, well…I’m still not quite sure about that one.
“Well, you need some lube?” Roger asks. “I’ve got some, ah, in my room.”
“No, I don’t think that will be necessary.”
He shrugs. “Good because I just remembered I ran out yesterday.”
“Well thanks for the empty offer,” I laugh. “No, it’s more of a…psychological block, I guess. Everything’s, ah, working fine.” I make an awkward gesture to that area of my body.
“Mmm Hmm,” Roger says, putting his thinking face on. “Well, maybe we should continue this conversation tomorrow? You can give me an up to date run on how everything went…with details.”
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
“Yes. I very much would.”
“You dork.”
“I would also love to use this bathroom if you’re done.”
“Five more minutes.”
“Can’t we just use it at the same time?”
“I’m not ready for that.”
“You do have issues. You know that?”
“Maybe next term.”
“That’s what you said last term.”
“Talk soon!” I say, then shut the door.
Hey, what can I say? I need to be alone to get in the right mental headspace. Talking about everything with Luke at lunch earlier this week felt nothing short of therapeutic. He managed to drum up stories that had been squashed deep down inside of me that clearly still affect my outlook. I hadn’t thought of AJ McDickface for years. I suppose I’d blocked him out of my mind.
I sigh, thinking of it all.
With AJ, I felt like he could have been doing what we were doing with any girl. I just had the stereotypically “hot” cheerleader aesthetic that caught his eye, so he wanted me for fantasy fulfillment. I was a trophy to him.
With Luke, corny as it might sound, I know our connection is one-of-a-kind. He’s never even seen me in a glamorous-looking aesthetic.
Once I’m back in my room, I put on a form fitting dress—which for some girls might not be a big deal but I’ve become such a tomboy in the past few years, I almost never wear a dress.
It’s a skintight black thing I found at a resale store in Galesburg last term. I bought it on a whim and because the price was right and I’m not one to spend lavishly on clothes. I didn’t really even know when I would wear it. There aren’t too many opportunities to get all dressed up in formal wear in college, and I generally enjoy my rotation of sweatpants, jeans, and hoodies.
A fraternity formal is one of those rare occasions where you can get dressed up. I might as well go for it.
I get Luke’s text that his cab is pulled up in front of my place, and I come down the stairs. My hair is straightened and my coat is on.
He kisses me hello like he hasn’t seen me in weeks, which is really nice.
“Wow,” he says, taking my hands and taking a step back, staring at me.
“Do I have something on my face?” I ask, noting the way Luke is looking at me.
“Yeah you do.” He boops my nose with his finger. “Your nose.”
I roll my eyes and laugh. “No, seriously. Why are you looking at me like that?”
“You really don’t know? You look fucking stunning, Sky. I mean not that I’m not attracted to you normally but I am fighting the urge to just carry you right up into your room and skip dinner at this point. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you go out without your glasses.”
“All right, come on now. I see what’s going on. Don’t She’s All That me.”
He looks at me in confusion. “What do you mean by that?” As we get in the cab after Luke tells the driver where we’re going I explain to Luke my comment.
“In that movie She’s All That, she takes off her glasses, puts on makeup and a dress and suddenly she’s the prettiest girl in school,” I tease with a grin admitting to myself I do feel special tonight.
Luke runs his hand along my jaw and smirks. “If I want to tell you that you’re fucking gorgeous, I’m going to tell you. Gorgeous. And sure, it’s not lost on me that this is the first time I’ve seen you in a dress…maybe ever.”
He doesn’t wait for my reaction, just kisses me hard on the lips then kisses a trail down my neck, then nibbles on my ear and whispers, “Are you ready to have me inside you later? I’m going to take very good care of you tonight.”
Chills travel down my spine and heat pools between my legs. His voice is low and gravelly. I wonder if the cab driver can hear us.
He stares into my eyes and after a beat passes, he whispers, “Cielo. When I ask you a direct question, I expect a direct answer.”
My heart pounds heavily, and I feel my body melting from the inside right now.
“Yes,” I whisper. “I’m ready.”
“Good. Because I got us a room.”
“A room?”
“Yes. The banquet hall where we do the party is attached to a hotel. And I got us a room for the night.”