“Stop.” I step in between them, pushing them apart. “What you did was selfish and manipulative,” I tell Ronan, “but I understand your motivations, and you were young.”
“That doesn’t excuse him,” Dillon snaps.
I turn to face my boyfriend. “No, it doesn’t, but Ronan is the one who will have to live with that for the rest of his life.” My features soften, and I let Ro go, sliding both hands up Dillon’s chest. “I could just as easily say this is my fault for not giving the letter to Ash to deliver to you or handing it to you myself.”
“Why didn’t you?” Ash asks.
I glance between her and Dillon. “I mean no offense, Ash, but I wanted Dillon to make the decision free of interference and influence. If he came to stop me from getting on that plane, I needed to know it was solely his choice because I was prepared to completely change my life for him, and I needed to know he was all in.”
She nods slowly. “That makes sense.”
“Why did you put it through the letter box?” Dillon says. “Why not hand it to me personally?”
I arch a brow. “You honestly have to ask me that?” He looks confused. Typical man. “I thought Aoife was in there with you, and I couldn’t handle another rejection. I told you I loved you in the bar, and you acted like it meant nothing. I was broken-hearted, Dillon, and I couldn’t face seeing you with her again.”
He bobs his head. “It was natural to assume that, except she wasn’t with me.”
“I know that now, but I didn’t back then.”
“God, it’s all so tragic.” Ash shakes her head. “All these little things conspired to keep you apart.”
“I know, but what’s the point in looking back? We can’t change the past.” I cup one side of Dillon’s face. “The truth is, we don’t know what would’ve happened if you’d gotten that letter. Maybe you would have come after me, or maybe you were too drunk and you still would’ve gotten on that plane the next day and everything would have played out as it did.”
“Or maybe I would have fought harder for you, knowing you had chosen me.”
“But would you?” I peer deep into his eyes. “I hurt you by running straight back to Reeve. That hurt would still have been there.”
A muscle pops in his jaw. “I would’ve come after you and stopped you getting on the plane. That would have stopped everything from happening.”
“I’m not so sure, Dil.” Ash gets up, crossing to us. “You were stoned, drunk and incoherent, and so full of anger and bitterness. I would have encouraged you to go after her, but honestly, I think you’re too stubborn to have made that call until you had sobered up.”
“The point is, it doesn’t matter now.” I can’t think like that because it would be like saying if things had happened differently then Reeve would still be alive and maybe Lainey would never have existed, and I can’t think of alternative realities when I have battled so hard for this current one.
“How can you say that?” Dillon cries, pinning me with bloodshot eyes. “I lost years with East. Years I might not have lost if I’d been given your letter.”
My heart aches for him, and I feel his pain. “We can’t turn back the clock, and dwelling on all the what-ifs has gotten us nowhere in the past. We have all made mistakes, which contributed to the situation, but we are here now, in the right place, united as a family. That’s what matters most. That’s what we should focus on.” I kiss him softly. “I know you’re angry and you’re hurt. I can’t tell you how to react to it. I can’t tell you to forgive your brother. I can tell you what I think, which is we’ve suffered enough from the mistakes of the past. We’re dangerously close to undoing all the progress we’ve both made.”
“What are you saying, Viv?”
“I’m asking you to look inside yourself and find it in your heart to forgive your brother. We need to look to the future, not the past. You’re going on tour. You need to be united. Your family forgave you for the secrets you hid and the lies you told. It should end here.” The situation is not the same. I know that. But we have to draw a line somewhere.
“I can’t even look at him right now.”
I hug him. “You need time to process and time to calm down.”
“How are you so calm? So reasonable?”
“It’s actually given me closure. I always thought you’d received that letter and didn’t care. Plus, I’m tired of hating and hurting and feeling sad. This is a new year, and I want it to be a fresh start.”
The pilot pops his head out then. “We’ll be taking off in fifteen minutes.”
“We need to get E.” I turn to walk toward the exit, but Dillon reaches out his arm to stop me.
“Allow me.” Some of the tension lifts from his shoulders and erases from his face.
I kiss him. “Go get our son. He’s incredibly excited. He’s been listening to your new album in the car. He wants to learn all the songs so he can sing along with you when you’re on stage.”
“Oh God.” Ash gulps, slapping a hand over her chest. “I love that little human so fucking much. Thank fuck, he takes after you and not dumbass over there.” I wouldn’t be too sure about that, at all, but I smile anyway because Ash always brings a smile to my face.
Dillon flips her the bird as he stalks to the entrance and disappears outside.
“Thanks, Viv,” Ronan says in a quiet voice.
I drop into the seat beside him. “Don’t thank me yet. You know how stubborn your brother is, and he might not ever be able to forgive you.” I feel I need to prepare Ronan for that possibility. “I know Dillon disappointed all of you when he concealed so much, but those secrets didn’t hurt any of you. Mostly, he hurt himself.”
“Whereas, what I did directly hurt my brother.” He hangs his head. “I’m so ashamed.”
“I can see that.” I pat his arm.
“I’m unbelievably sorry for my actions, Vivien. If I could go back, I would never have destroyed the letter.”
“I believe you, and I forgive you.” At least it explains why he’s had trouble looking me in the eye. He stares at me now.
“You do?”
I nod, and I’m proud of myself. I know forgiving him is the right thing to do, but I’m not saying it to keep the peace. I genuinely mean it, and it hasn’t been difficult for me to reach this decision. It’s completely different for Dillon though, and it will take him some time. I hope, for everyone’s sake, they can find a way to move past this. “You were a great friend to me in Ireland, Ronan. I know you didn’t deliberately set out to hurt me.”
He hugs me, and there are tears in his eyes.
“Hands off my woman,” the caveman says as he reenters the plane carrying a little wriggly live wire in his arms.
Ro jerks back as if he’s been electrocuted.
“Auntie Ash!” Easton exclaims, sliding down Dillon’s body. “I’m coming on tour!”
“I heard, little munchkin.” She high-fives him. “We are going to have so much fun.”