Hog whined in agreement.
Rex bared his full set of teeth. Actually, it wasn’t a full set. He’d lost a bunch in his older years, but he still sounded fierce.
Hog took a few steps back and sat with what sounded like a long-suffering sigh. Just then someone ran into the yard, dropped to her knees in front of Emma, and hugged her so hard they both toppled over.
“Alison?” she gasped in shock.
Alison just kept hugging her, even though they were both on the ground now.
Phyllis was watching, looking fascinated. “Maybe you two should date each other. Men aren’t worth a woman’s time anyway.”
“Can’t. Breathe.” Emma tapped on Alison’s arm. “Uncle!”
Alison pulled back and grinned. Grinned.
“I’m scared,” Emma said. “Are you . . . okay?”
“Better than okay.”
Emma eyed her suspiciously. “Are you . . . drunk?”
Alison laughed. “At nine in the morning?”
Emma sat up and studied her partner closely. “Are you under some sort of mind control or something? Quick, blink twice for yes if you need help.”
“Funny.” Alison sat up too. “Guess what happened last night?”
“You were possessed by aliens.”
“Oh my God, you’re no fun.” Alison stood up and ran a hand down the front of her to smooth out her wrinkles before holding out a hand to help Emma up. “I went to Ryan’s barbecue.”
“And . . . ? Given your glow, which I suppose could be from your ridiculously costly BB cream, but which I suspect is really from a bunch of orgasms since you’re still wearing yesterday’s clothes, it went well.”
“Actually, it was a complete disaster. His mom and sister said some crappy things about me. I mean, they were all true, but still . . .”
Emma’s smile faded. “I’m so sorry. But I’m confused. Why are you smiling? Oh my God, did you kill them? Do you need help burying the bodies?”
“Nope, I don’t need help.”
Emma paused. “Because . . . you already buried the bodies?”
“No!” Alison hooted with laughter, looking lighter and happier than Emma had ever seen her. “I stood up for myself. And Ryan stood up for me too. He told his family he loved me, that I was a part of his life, a big part. He told them to get on board and accept it, and they did!”
“Wow, that’s great. I’m so happy for you.”
“Right? It worked! All the reading, studying, and practicing with you worked! Ryan and I are really friends. And more.” She smiled again. “I can’t believe it.”
“Wait,” Emma said. “What?”
“I said it worked!”
“No, the other thing,” Emma said with what she thought was remarkable calm given the sudden dread in her gut. “Before that. You were practicing with me. What does that mean?” She carefully set Rex down and stared at Alison, never resenting her ridiculously gorgeous and perfect high heels more. “You being nice to me over the past few weeks . . . it was practice for you?”
“No.” Alison grimaced. “I mean, okay, yeah, a little bit. But you know why. We had history, bad history—”
“Oh my God.” Emma left the salty yard, but didn’t get one step past the gate before Hog was at her side, giving her a low whine as he pressed against her, love in his eyes. Phyllis had let him out and nodded at Emma with what looked like sympathy.
“Look, I know it sounds bad,” Alison said, trailing her. “But I needed to learn to make friends. And you’d already told me we weren’t ever going to be friends. So I decided if I could befriend you anyway, I could befriend anybody. Even Ryan.”
Emma found herself speechless. And angry. And hurt. And damn . . . so hurt. It seemed like an Armstrong specialty, to be able to get under her skin. “I get that I said we weren’t going to be friends, but you know why I said that, and where I was coming from.”
“Hey, it’s not like I cheated on you with your best friend.”
Wow. Emma actually staggered back a step as though she’d been physically pushed. “No,” she managed. “It’s worse. Because the no-friendship thing went out the door weeks ago and you knew it, because we became friends in spite of ourselves.”
“And I was supposed to know that how?”
Emma tossed up her hands. “Anyone who’s ever had a good friend would know that!” Nope. Not doing this. She headed to the door, which opened just as she reached for it, knocking her off balance into . . . fabulous . . . Ned.
He steadied her and smiled. “Well, hello.”
Emma pushed free. “What are you doing here?”
His smile faded. “I need to talk to you.”
“Get in line,” Alison said from behind them.
Emma pointed at her. “You and I have nothing left to say to each other.” She stabbed a finger at Ned next. “And neither do we.”
He caught her hand. “I broke up with Cindy.”
Emma yanked free of the man she’d once thought she loved, the man she’d planned to say “I do” to, the man she hadn’t even thought about since the last time she’d seen him.
“Actually,” he said, “she broke up with me. Tomayto/tomahto, right?”
She stared at him. “And?”
“And I thought we should talk. I realize I’ve got apologies to make, and I was hoping you’d let me make some things up to you.”
Carefully not looking at Alison, because just looking at her felt like a sharp arrow piercing her heart, Emma slowly shook her head. “No.”
“No, I don’t need to make things up to you?”
“No, I don’t want to hear your apology.” What is it with men thinking they know what someone else wants? She narrowed her eyes at Ned. “Go away.”
Phyllis helpfully opened the door, but Ned reached for Emma. Suddenly Hog was there, inserting himself between Emma and Ned, teeth bared, growl ferocious.
“Holy shit,” Ned yelped and jumped back.
Hog leapt up, planting his two front paws on the guy’s chest and he went down on his ass.
“Hog, sit,” Emma said.
Like a total sweetheart, Hog sat, smiling up at Emma, clearly proud of himself.
“What a good, sweet boy,” Phyllis said. Patting Hog on the head.
Ned scrambled to his feet. “I told you that dog was a menace and not good for your well-being.”
“There’s only one menace here who’s bad for my well-being,” Emma said. “Well, maybe two. Get out.”
“Emma—”
“Get out and don’t ever come back, Ned.”
He straightened his shirt, gave her a long look during which he apparently accurately assessed her feelings for once, and walked to the door. “For what it’s worth,” he said quietly, “I’m sorry I hurt you.” And then he was gone.
Emma nodded to herself, swallowed the lump in her throat, and reminded herself that even if she had no real friends, she still had Hog.
“Emma,” Alison said.
Emma buried her face in Hog’s thick, furry neck. He smelled like bacon. And faintly of his last fart. “I should’ve known. Never settle for a man who’d dump you when someone better comes along. Same should go for friends.” She dusted herself off. “I’m going to put an ‘Out of Order’ sticker on my forehead and call it a day. I’m out.”