Monday night, Shane had had a lot of paperwork to go over with his parents. After a quiet dinner with my family, I’d mentioned to my mother what I had heard his bandmates say. She’d listened to my rundown and then to what worried me.
“Sweetie, is it possible you have the same concerns of regret?” she’d then asked. My instant reaction had been to deny her theory. I loved Shane and knew no one could hold that place in my heart like he did. Things were different for him than me. I wasn’t destined for fame.
That question continued to haunt me through the night into the next day. I’d never regret loving him and only him, but would I someday regret making everything in my life about him if things were ever to end between us?
Yes.
Once Shane signed the paperwork, I felt comfortable telling Kim his news. Wanting to do so in person, I decided to invite her to our spa day. Hours of pampering with my mom, Leila, Siarra, and Kim were just what I needed.
During our pedicures, Kim caught me up with how things had improved for her since she and Chase had broken up. Chad from Boston had been keeping her mind off Chase. He’d actually wanted to come down last weekend to see her, but Kim had pushed to wait until they started UMass. She seemed different after the days we’d been apart. More at peace, and I was happy she appeared happy.
When I finally revealed Shane’s news, her shock was obvious, but in a good way. She was quick to say it was a matter of time before he was snatched up because of his talent. The conversation steered clear of the obvious emotional element that hovered over me.
Ever since she’d ended things with Chase, I’d tended to hold back on any relationship talk… or I’d tried, at least, to convince myself it was to spare her. Deep down, I believed the real reason I hadn’t told my best friend all the doubts and worries that consumed me was because voicing them could tempt fate. But by holding back, that had given Kim an open invite to fill in the blanks.
“He’s going to have the time of his life,” she had innocently said. I guessed I wasn’t as good at hiding things as I thought when one look at me had caused her to backtrack. “You know, by playing on stage like he always dreamed of.”
I’d forced a smile and a nod, but I couldn’t find it in me to respond enthusiastically. Instantly, connotations from the conversation with his bandmates reared their ugly head.
Needless to say, the distraction I had hoped spending a day with the females I adored never really came. Through the massage and facial, my mind wouldn’t turn off. So many changes were coming, but none that I looked forward to.
Just like my time with Shane continued to tick by, Kim leaving in two weeks for college made me sad for different reasons. That and finding out what my boyfriend considered was a great way to get Molly off my back had messed with my head.
While we scanned the lunch menus in the spa’s restaurant, there was enough conversation that my silence went unnoticed. That was, until my mom reached over and patted my hand. “Liv.”
“Yeah?”
“Leila asked you a question.”
Flipping my attention to Leila, I shrugged. “Sorry, Aunt Leila… I guess I’m so relaxed that I zoned out.”
“Oh, no problem, sweetie. I just asked if you met Cannon’s band.”
“No, I didn’t get to do that yet.” I hated those guys, and I kept to myself why. After hearing them pretty much berate Shane for having a girlfriend, I couldn’t exactly stroll in, wave, and say, “Hey, I’m the girlfriend.”
Leila nodded, looking concerned. “I had asked Shane if they were nice or not, and he gave me a very bland answer. Lori has told me some stories over the years about that crew… but I guess I have just as many I could tell for my own band.” I hated that way too many of those stories had to do with my father. “He did say they are very impressed with how much he already knew.”
“They were,” I agreed. “It sounds like Shane’s been playing with them for years.”
“Well, he has been practicing his heart out,” my mom interjected. “When will Lori unleash the press release?”
That held my attention. “What press release?”
“Just a standard industry statement announcing Shane has joined Cannon’s tour,” Leila responded. Like an idiot, I hadn’t even thought of that. Of course, he needed to be formally introduced to Cannon’s fan base. And along with that would come photo shoots for promotional materials and maybe even interviews before they left in a few weeks. Add in the fact that Shane Lair was the son of rock-and-roll royalty and things were about to get very real.
“When is it being released?” I tried to hide how much this tidbit had freaked me out.
“In the next week or so.” Leila tilted her head in a sympathetic way. “Are you okay, sweetheart?” All eyes focused on me as my mom placed her hand over mine.
“I guess it’s all hitting me now.” I couldn’t lie and pretend that I was okay. That reaction would only snowball the closer we came to his departure date, and the bigger the lie became the harder it would be to keep pretending.
“It’s a lot to handle, but you have us to lean on,” Leila said.
“Ugh… another rock star to deal with in my house,” Siarra grumbled. “Can’t wait.”
Kim and I exchanged a knowing look. It was hard enough to tamp down the fascination when Shane was just Jack and Leila Lair’s kid. Outing him as a working musician for one of the hottest solo rock stars in the world would catapult his popularity overnight.
“Sweetheart, can I give you a little advice?” I nodded at Leila. “If you go looking for trouble online or in the press, you’ll find it… and most of it won’t be true. Trust me. I’ve lived through it. Our first tour was very hard on me. Devil’s Lair already had a fan base, and they didn’t take me joining the band too well. Let’s not get into the maniacs that worship my husband. Those Lair Lovers can be downright evil when it comes to Jack. I was called every name in the book by most of the female population.” She shook her head and released a sarcastic laugh as my insides clenched with apprehension. “Hell, the things they made up were downright ridiculous. They’d go as far as claiming Jack slept with groupies on the very bus that I was also on.” Her pretty eyes widened in disbelief, as if it were just yesterday and not years ago. “And even knowing it wasn’t true, it was hard to ignore all the lies. I had no one I could lean on who understood. You have all of us.”
“That was the best advice you gave when we became friends,” my mom added. “There should be one person you trust to get your information from… and for you, Liv, that’s Shane. Communicate often, and if there is anything you want to know, ask him directly.”
“I will,” I said, when I really meant I’d try.
In the week that followed, Shane and I got into a routine. Even though I wanted to avoid overhearing stuff I didn’t want to hear, at some point each day I’d still pop in to watch Shane rehearse. Sometimes I stayed just for a song or two. A few times I’d been so mesmerized hours had flown by. On my insistence, he’d never acknowledge that I was there. I didn’t want to get him into any trouble with Cannon… not that he would. Shane was always extremely focused whenever he played, and especially so when performing with his new bandmates.