"Do you want to be with her?"
"There’s nothing more that I want in this world."
"Have you thought about trying to woo her?"
"No. There’s no point. I don’t want her to end up with me."
"That’s taking selflessness too far, isn’t it?"
"I’m poison, Christopher. She got out before it was too late to save herself. I’m proud of her because of that."
"That’s equally the most depressing, disturbing, and wonderful thing I’ve ever heard anyone say," Christopher said after a few moments.
I grunted. "Glad I’m entertaining—"
There was a rumble of more half pipes, and as I waited for the sight of the SUV to show up, instead, I saw a new hog.
A bright red one.
My brow puckered and even though Christopher was talking, I muttered, "Great talk, Christopher. Thanks. I gotta go."
Cutting him off halfway through his next words, I studied the bike, wondering who the fuck it was, then headed over to the kitchen cupboard I had locked and loaded with a twelve gauge.
Dragging it out, I walked over to the front door, opened it, and keeping the shotgun hooked over my forearm, I waited for the bastard to turn around and face me.
When he did, my eyes widened. "Rex? Where the fuck have you been, you dipshit?"
If he’d have looked like hell, I could probably have forgiven him. But he was clean-shaven, a little tanned. His eyes were wild with grief, but I understood that. As for the rest of him, he looked like his clothes were clean, his boots were even fucking polished.
I stormed out of the front entrance, and before I knew what the hell I was doing, I punched him in the shoulder. Hard enough to take him back on his ass, even though he’d probably braced for that.
As he went flying, I loomed over him, and aware that he was bracing for a kick now but wasn’t willing to fight, I snarled, "Well? Where the fuck have you been?"
When he didn’t bother getting up, just lay there looking at me, I heaved a sigh, and though it was insane because the temperature out here made frigid look warm, I twisted around and plunked my ass down beside him.
The snow had pretty much gone but the cold sank into my bones as I laid back on the frozen grass, staring up at the sky.
Screw the cold, screw everything, it was fucking awesome that he was here.
I’d been worrying my ass off, all of us had, so to know he was safe came as a massive relief.
I hadn’t even registered how his being missing had been a burden on my back until now, when it went away. That didn’t mean I was about to make it easier on him, and silence worked wonders where badgering his ass wouldn’t. I knew he’d open up if I was patient.
As we rested there, saying shit, shivering our dicks off, finally, he muttered, "Kendra’s my half-sister."
I didn’t say anything. Though I was surprised that was where he went first, this wasn’t news to me.
"You knew?" Rex rumbled after a few seconds, head rocking to the side.
"Found out a few years back."
"That why you never let me toss her out?"
"Well, it wasn’t because I was in fucking love with her."
"I thought that was why."
"I know. It was easier to let you think that."
Rex rolled his head to look at me. "I can’t believe it."
"Trust me, Bear didn’t believe it either—"
"Why did he confide in you and not me?"
"Because I asked him if he’d ever cheated on your mom, and I wanted to know how he made it right."
"Christ," Rex said with a hiss. "I—I guess I thought he was faithful, which is crazy—"
"Why is it crazy?"
"The point is moot considering he did cheat on Mom."
"No. It isn’t inevitable that people will cheat. You think Nyx is gonna cheat on Giulia?"
"No, she’d chop his dick off. He ain’t as insane as everyone thinks he is."
I snorted. "Link wouldn’t cheat on Lily, Sin on Tiff, Mav on Alessa, Steel on Stone… they’re in it." I emphasized the word ‘it.’
"Never seen a man more all-in than you, Storm. But you fucked it up."
The words hurt worse than how he’d likely felt with the punch I’d landed on his shoulder.
"I did," I agreed.
"Anyway, I thought he’d have wrapped that shit up at least. Christ." He grunted under his breath as he rubbed his eyes with the butts of his hands. "That why you always steered me away from her? Not that I liked her toxic cunt. She was always mooning after you, anyway. Those fucking cow eyes were a turn off.
"Plus I’ve always been more discerning than most of you bastards."
I grimaced. "You never fucked her? Ever?"
"No. Can’t say I picked up on a vibe or anything, just always hated the bitch. Thank God, huh? Man, that’d be fucked up. Even for the Sinners."
"True dat."
"Storm?"
"Yeah?"
"Why did you do that? Why did you fuck it up with Keira?"
My mouth tightened. "Didn’t mean to."
"Just fell on Kendra? X marks the fucking spot?"
"No. I didn’t fuck around as much as everyone thinks. It happened, often enough that I’m goddamn ashamed, but it was never me just getting off for the sake of getting off. I was always high.
"Don’t forget, I wasn’t using all the time. Most of my marriage didn’t pass by in a fucking blur."
"No. Because I used to throw your ass in the Fridge," he reminded me.
I pulled a face. "Thanks?"
His laugh was short. "Trust me, I hated doing that as much as you hated me for it. Wasn’t about to let you ruin your life though."
"I appreciate that, brother," I rasped, meaning it less in the MC way and more fraternally.
He knew that because he rumbled, "I wish you hadn’t messed shit up with Keira."
"Me too."
"I don’t even know why you fucked them. You had blinders on ever since you met her anyway. Never seen a dipshit so head over heels more than you."
For a second, I lost my voice because it was easier to admit this shit to someone who had no horses in the race, like Christopher, than it was with Rex who’d been there for every up and down.
"I used to think I was fucking Keira," I managed to choke out.
Rex stilled. "You kidding me?"
"No. Wish I were."
"That’s messed up."
"I know."
"Jesus."
Silence fell, and I knew he’d just lost a whole hell of a lot of respect for me—I deserved it though.
Jaw working, regret hitting me, I grated out, "You remember when your mom had that miscarriage?"
Rex hissed out a breath. "Yeah. I remember. She froze us all out."
Yeah, that year had been hell.
Rene was the only mother in my life that mattered, but when she’d lost her baby, she’d gone in on herself. So far into that cave of depression that it had felt like we were going to lose her too.
I used to go and sit with her. Not saying shit. Just slipping into her room, lying on top of the covers at her side. I’d been around eight at the time. It was probably messed up that at that age, I understood what she was going through because I felt like that all the time.