"Your mom did a real number on you, Storm." Rex shook his head. "Not sure why that surprises me, but it’s true. Love don’t work that way. It’s generous, it isn’t selfish."
"If you say so," I rasped, but the concern was there.
"I’ve seen how you are with Cyan, man. Jesus, you’re one of the best dads I’ve ever known."
My shoulders hunched up around my ears. "Thanks."
He heaved a sigh. "Believe me or don’t, it’s the truth. You should have more kids. You got too much love in you, that’s your problem. Anyway, I ain’t gonna convince you so what are you going to do about that guy?"
"Nothing." I stared at them kissing. Stared at the kisses that should have been mine. At the mouth that belonged to me…
Me: Leave it. Just make sure, if things get deeper, and she tries to stop it, that you’re there to help out.
Jump: Seriously?
"Seriously?" Rex sputtered at my side at the same time.
I cut him a look. "She deserves to find happiness."
Me: Seriously. Just make sure she gets out safe. She won’t spend the night.
Jump: Gotcha. Your funeral.
My mouth tightened.
"Your honor code is messed up."
"We know that already," I said tightly.
"Did you guys talk about dating?"
"I told her I was proud she dumped my ass, and she told me that we’d never be together." I shot him a look. "Which part of that was supposed to give me hope?"
He pursed his lips. "What if she’s supposed to find happiness with you?"
"She’ll never find that with me. I’m toxic for her. I’m just lucky she’s letting me stay here for the time being."
I saw the exasperation etched into his drawn features. "Martyrs don’t get the girl."
"I want what’s best for her."
"Dipshit," he grumbled. "Never understood why you treat her the way you do."
I frowned. "What the hell’s that supposed to mean?"
"It means you treat her like she’s a kid. I told you to keep it traditional, not fucking paternal. Bet you ain’t never told her dick about her old man and the games he’s pulled over the years, have you?"
"I had it under control."
"I’m sure," was his dry retort. "Just so you know, I’ll only let you pull this martyr shit for so long before I snap. Even if you ain’t high, I’m not above hurling you in the Fridge to make you drag your head out of your ass." Before I could reply, he demanded, "Anyway, how’s Cyan doing?"
"Better now I’m here."
"Maybe Keira will take you back because of her?"
"She shouldn’t."
Rex growled and punched me in the shoulder, much as I’d done him. "Maybe she doesn’t want you to just passively accept her fucking other guys, Storm. Maybe she wants you to grovel, huh? Maybe she wants you to get in her face and tell her that she’s yours and that you’re hers?"
I stared at him. "I’m not good for her."
"So? Is Nyx good for Giulia?" was his rejoinder. "The fucker needs to kill people to find inner peace, Storm. Jesus. How he’s gone clean for so fucking long I don’t know. He’s gonna blow at some point. That sound healthy?"
I winced because I knew Nyx needed the kill. It went deeper than addiction. His sanity rested on it.
"Sometimes shit doesn’t have to be healthy to be right." He grunted. "I need coffee."
"How long you been riding?"
"Eighteen hours."
"Jesus. What the hell were you doing down on the West Coast?"
"It doesn’t matter. How are things going here?"
"Better. We bought a diner, a local motel, and a garage. We’re looking into buying a factory as well. They fabricate auto parts."
Rex arched a brow. "You’re working fast."
"Most of the plan to legitimize the Sinners in West Orange was my idea," I said dryly. "Just repeating what we did. Why fix what ain’t broken?"
"The brothers accepting you?"
"Yeah. Few rumbles from a guy who’s pissed I didn’t make him VP—"
"He a problem?"
"No. Don’t think so."
"What about the Sinners we ran off? Any issues there?"
"No. It’s a good chapter. There were just a few bad eggs. It’s very family-oriented."
Rex’s brows rose. "Really?"
"Yeah. All of my council are family men. I’d say nearly eighty percent of the remaining brothers have kids and Old Ladies."
"Jesus. So, the Ohio Chapter is like the Sinners’ version of The Waltons?"
I smirked at that. "Yeah, you keep on thinking that, John Boy."
He shoved me in the arm, then fell quiet as the cold sank even further into our bones. Christ, it was better than meth at making me feel awake.
"Storm?" he asked after a few minutes.
"Yeah?"
"Dad… I—"
"I miss him too."
Rex cleared his throat, but he still sounded choked as he grated out, "He woke up before he died."
I straightened up. "Seriously? What did he say?"
He was silent again, and when he spoke, I knew why—he was holding back tears. "He asked me to help him get to Mom."
His words hit me in the gullet.
They hit me in the throat.
They hit me in the gut.
They hit me in the fucking head.
But worst of all, they hit me in the heart.
If he sounded choked, that was nothing to me as I rasped, "Don’t tell anyone else."
"I won’t."
I reached over, grabbed his shoulder, and whispered, "He was waiting to be with her."
"I know."
And like two pussies, we sat in the dark, on the frozen ground, hunched over, both of us trying not to cry as we mourned the man who’d been our father.
As we mourned the mom we’d lost too young.
And prayed that, if there really was a God, he delivered Bear into Rene’s arms.
Eighteen
Keira
PRESENT
Jared was surprisingly good in bed.
He knew where the clitoris was, which was definitely a check in the positive column. He wasn’t afraid to suck it, and he wasn’t afraid to wait for me to get off before he came.
He was clean, had a nice house, a good car and job, and he smelled great.
So why was he so wrong?
I faked my orgasm, because though he’d gotten me off, it had been a tiny peak and that wasn’t his fault. He’d really tried, so I’d groaned like I was in the throes, and he believed me because afterward, I sobbed like it was good, spluttering and gasping not with pleasure, but with regret. With loss.
He wasn’t Storm.
God, I was so fucking pathetic.
As Jared kissed my tears away, he chuckled softly. "Hey, it’s okay," he teased, moving his lips down over the arch of my slick cheekbone.