“Oh, boy.” I couldn’t help but chuckle. He was just too nice for his own good and anything concerning Noah would likely blow up in both our faces, but it would be bitchy not to at least listen.
“First part of this has to do with you,” he said to Stu. “You haven’t had a guitar tech since we started Nobody’s Fool, and you’ve refused to let me pay for one for you, so what about this. Noah told me he’s always wanted to play guitar but could never afford lessons or anything. What if you two had an arrangement where he hangs out with you at the studio, learns the ropes, and maybe gets a few guitar lessons out of it? In exchange, he has the opportunity to learn what he needs to know to go on tour with us when and if we go on one.” He paused, meeting Stu’s eyes. “This isn’t a guilt trip. Noah’s the one I told you about who was in the car accident and then got hooked on meth, his way of dealing with survivor’s guilt and all of that. Not only would it give him something to do that has the potential to turn into a career, it might also be cathartic for both of you to share your experiences.”
“Oh, baby, that would be so good for you,” Lindsay said softly.
“For the most part, I’ve come to terms with all that,” Stu said in the strong Scottish accent I’d finally started to understand. “But if I can spare someone else the agony of what I went through, or at least help him get past it, while simultaneously getting a free guitar tech, no way I’ll say no.”
“Wait.” I looked around. “You’re all wonderful, and I’m truly humbled by what you want to do, but do you understand that he’s an addict who can and will fall off the wagon? I don’t know when or how or why, but it’ll happen, and one or all of you could wind up dealing with the fallout.”
“My last band was all addicts and alcoholics,” Stu said. “I was the only one who wasn’t, though I did my share of partying. That addiction got one of them killed and sent me to prison for something I didn’t do. So if anyone understands all that, it’s me. And maybe, by giving Noah a focus, something beyond recovery and staying clean, it will give him a goal.”
“But in the music business?” I whispered, resting my chin on my hand. “I mean, won’t he be surrounded by drugs and alcohol constantly? Won’t it just be more temptation?”
“Initially, no. We don’t do drugs as a band, and rarely drink during rehearsals or performances. Just not our thing. Bash and I can reach out to the others, explain that for now, it would be easier if we didn’t drink at all during rehearsals. I can’t imagine anyone would say no.”
“But…” My voice trailed off. I really had no more objections. Noah was a grown man who was going to live his life no matter what I said. I tried to help him, of course, because I loved him, but in the end, I couldn’t stop him from doing anything. And despite the temptation I assumed would be prevalent in the music biz, he hadn’t needed much of anything to tempt him into getting started on drugs in the first place.
“I know it’s scary,” Declan said softly, reaching for my hand. “But he’s a grown man. He needs something in his life, beyond Kiki, to look forward to. Isn’t that why you got him the job with Marla? To get him out of the house and give him purpose?”
“No, you’re right,” I said. “It’s just terrifying. But I can’t make all his choices for him. At some point, he has to live his life.”
“We’ll all look out for him,” Stu said, nodding.
“And Kiki’s been on top of it too.” I smiled faintly. “I know, I’m overprotective. I just want so much for him to be okay.”
“One day at a time,” Lindsay said gently.
“I know.”
“Wait, does this mean you’re back in the band?” Stu asked Declan.
Declan chuckled. “I never left the band. I just needed some time to think. And I’m almost done. Give me until Sunday and then we’ll regroup.”
Stu nodded. “Fair enough.”
“We should go dancing,” Lindsay said dreamily.
“Tonight?” Stu arched a brow at her.
She nodded.
Declan looked at me. “Do you dance?”
“Not well, but sure.”
“Then let’s go dancing.”
22
Bash
* * *
For some reason, I was nervous before brunch with Jayson. Tyler was picking me up and I paced until he texted that he was downstairs. It was odd for me, because I rarely got nervous about anything. Even early in my career, stage fright hadn’t been a thing for me, and aside from medical procedures, I was pretty even-tempered. This thing with Jayson was different, though, and I’d thought of nothing except different ways to approach our conversation since yesterday.
I was almost glad Bri had left for work this morning because I needed time to wrap my head around confronting him. Well, confronting was probably a strong word. I didn’t want this to be ugly. More than anything, I wanted to understand how we’d gone from inseparable for ten years to an afterthought the minute Casey’s life changed.
“You ready?” Tyler asked as the valet took his car and we headed inside.
“As I’ll ever be.”
“You know I have your back, right?” Tyler stopped for a moment and looked at me. “You’ve been going through something and for whatever reason couldn’t come to me until after it festered into something deeper, but regardless, I’m not him. Even if you leave the band, no matter what you decide to do, you’re my brother.”
“I know,” I said. “And I appreciate that more than I’ve shown.”
We spotted Jayson standing by the hostess station and we waved.
“Hey, guys.” Jayson greeted us with a friendly smile, but there was no mistaking the curiosity in his eyes.
We sat down, ordered mimosas and food, and shot the shit for a few minutes until our drinks arrived. Finally, as if he could read our minds, Jayson leaned back in his chair and looked from me to Tyler.
“So what’s up? I take it you have something on your minds.”
“We do,” Tyler said quietly. “But I’ll let Bash start.”
I put my mimosa down and eyed him. “I know it’s water under the bridge at this point, but I have a question.”
“Shoot.” Jayson met my gaze without flinching.
“Why didn’t you stay?”
I didn’t have to say anything else; Jayson knew exactly what I was talking about. He dipped his head and looked away, took a sip of his drink, and finally looked back at me.
“Because Liz was pregnant and her job is in Monte Carlo. Because I’d made a huge mess of my life with my gambling addiction and needed to get out of Vegas. And finally, because I needed a clean break. I’d been Casey Hart’s husband for so long, I didn’t even know who Jayson Keller was anymore.” He motioned to the waitress to bring us another round and then looked back at me.
“And that wasn’t something you could share with us?” I asked him. “We knew things between you and Casey hadn’t been good for a long time, but you never talked about it, never reached out to us, never asked for help or a sounding board or anything.”