A tear fell down my cheek. Then another. Then too many to count. For the first time in...ever, he didn’t move to comfort me.
And I desperately wanted to comfort him. “Brett…”
But I didn’t have any words, let alone the right words. Not just because I had no defense. That wasn’t even half of my agony. The source of the bulk of it was much more unpleasant to face. I’d hurt Brett. Deeply. In ways I’d been hurt. Ways I’d never wish on someone I loved.
“I think you need to leave now,” he said after a long beat filled only with the sound of my sniffling.
Dismissal jolted me to action. “Brett, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. I didn’t realize.”
“It doesn’t matter anymore. Just...” He gestured toward the door.
I couldn’t accept that. It had to still matter. If it didn’t matter, we had no chance, and as bad as it was knowing that I’d hurt him, it was a million times worse if I couldn’t fix it. “No, it does matter. I should have realized.”
I stepped toward him, my arm out, but he moved out of reach before I could touch him. “I can’t do this with you anymore, Edie.”
There was something final in his posture, in the set of his eyes, in the thickness of his voice.
“What are you saying?” But I already knew. I’d been dismissed enough to know the difference between I can’t do this right now and I can’t do this ever.
“I’m saying I need a break.”
“A break to think some more?” I clung to a miniscule hope that this wasn’t what I thought it was. It wasn’t the no I was so used to hearing. It was just the maybe he’d given me before.
He suddenly looked weary. “A break from our friendship, Eden.”
I couldn’t make an effort to change his mind because Julie buzzed that his four-fifteen was waiting, and I had no choice but to go this time when he ushered me out.
The truth was that even if I’d had the opportunity, it wouldn’t have made a difference. I’d never figured out how to keep an ordinary man.
How on earth would I suddenly know how to keep the best man ever?
Chapter Twelve
Avery’s voice droned on and on in the background until suddenly it wasn’t far away but loud and close to my ear.
“What?” I snapped, looking up from my phone to find her standing over my shoulder.
“Hey, now,” she said defensively. “I don’t need to be shouted out.”
“I’m busy. You’re interrupting me.”
“You’re busy playing Wooduku. I think you can spare five seconds to tell me whether or not I can throw out some of your leftovers. The fridge is getting crowded.”
There was more than one dig in there. One about how I chose to spend my Saturday playing games. Another about how I hadn’t bothered to throw out my own leftovers. A third about how I’d taken to eating takeout for every meal the past week because I was a lazy slob who was too antisocial to want to eat dinner with the family.
Oh, and a dig about her cleaning up my mess, because of course she was. Because she was good at things like...oh, everything.
“Whatever,” I said, going back to my game. If she was subtly looking for my help, she’d have to ask outright.
And I’d still probably say no.
“I don’t understand the answer. Can I or can’t I?”
“I don’t care!” I blared. God, wasn’t it obvious I wanted to be left alone?
“Okay, that’s it.” Avery marched around the couch so she was in front of me. “Look at me, Eden.”
I considered not giving her my attention, but I knew her well enough to know whatever bug she had up her ass wouldn’t go away until she told me all about it.
With a huff, I lifted my eyes to her. “What now?”
“I don’t know, Eden, you tell me. You’ve been moping around here for the last week or so, making everyone in this apartment miserable. So what’s going on?”
Nothing was going on. That was the problem.
The day after Brett had yelled at me and made me cry—reminder that I’ve a flair for drama, but the statement wasn’t untrue—I called in sick to work, hoping a long weekend could act like a reset button for both of us.
Then on Monday, I brought his favorite coffee and some fancy nut bread that I knew he’d go insane over and headed to his office with a peace offering only to be told by Julie that, “Mr. Sebastian has requested no visitors from anyone today. He’s helping the other Mr. Sebastian on a project for the sponsorship candidate.”
Right. Work was why he was avoiding everyone.
Except Scott really did have Brett putting together a last-minute documentary series to begin filming ASAP. So perhaps the retreat was necessary. I couldn’t know for sure since the one text I’d sent him had received a brusque reply. I need real time off, Eden.
In other words, not only was our romantic relationship completely off the table, but ten years of friendship was possibly doomed as well, and all I could do was wait and see.
So, yeah. I’d been in a crappy mood.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I said, biting my lip.
In her place, I would have taken those words as a sign of dismissal and would have stomped noisily off to brood. But Avery was the perfect one, so instead, she sat down on the coffee table in front of me and brought out her gentle voice. “Is it Scott?”
I shot her an annoyed glare. “I told you I’m done with him.”
“Oh, that’s right, it’s Brett right now.” She gave a sympathetic frown, seeming to remember the last status update I’d given her on the matter. “Are things moving too slow?”
I gave a vague head shake. I hadn’t admitted things weren’t moving at all anymore, and I didn’t know if I could bear the humiliation of explaining.
“Don’t tell me he turned into an asshole too. He’s such a great guy.”
Tell me about it.
There must have been some part of me that wanted to talk about it because I found myself giving her a kernel of gossip. “He likes another girl.”
“He told you that?”
I nodded.
Then I felt guilty because although he had told me that, he’d also told me he was in love with me, and I wasn’t portraying the scene accurately. “He did, but that was before we slept together. And then I saw him with her, and I told him I didn’t want to be his second choice.”
Avery snorted. “Well, isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black.”
I wanted to scowl and defend myself and say a whole bunch of things about how was I supposed to know, and it wasn’t my fault he’d been such a sucker for me, and all that bullshit.
I sighed instead. “That’s basically what he said. Only he went much more in depth and said a bunch of things I think he’s been holding in for a long time and…” I exaggerated my pout so that I wouldn’t cry. “I really really hurt him, Avery.”
“Oh, honey.” She moved from the coffee table to the couch and pulled me toward her.
I leaned my head on her shoulder, and while I didn’t feel immediately better, I did feel a little less uncomfortable in my misery. As much as I hated her for everything she did well, I sometimes forgot how much I loved that she was great at encouragement.