She turns to me with a look I know all too well. “Well, sweetie. Not just yet, but I sure hope to be.”
Rafe catches my eye, but I can’t tell what he’s thinking before Hailey speaks up again. “I don’t have a grandma. Or a grandpa.”
I can see the invisible knife slicing through Rafe’s heart at her words, even though he tries to hide it. My mom offers a sympathetic smile. “Well you’re welcome here anytime, sweetie.”
That makes Hailey perk up with happiness as she nods and takes another big bite of mashed potatoes.
Thankfully, the rest of dinner goes by much smoother, and then we’re packed back in my car with several Tupperware containers full of leftovers and on our way back to the city. Hailey has her tablet with her headphones on in the back seat, and I make sure she isn’t listening when I address Rafe. “I know my parents can be a lot. I’m sorry if today was too much.”
He shrugs, wiping his palms on his jeans. “They’re great. Really great.”
I smile at that, my eyes on the road. “They are, but they’re still a lot. They mean well though.”
“I got that.”
“You okay?” We haven’t talked about Hailey’s mom. I still have no idea what happened, but I know enough to know it haunts him.
“Yeah.” I can feel his eyes on me. “I just feel guilty sometimes. That she doesn’t have grandparents who love her.” His voice cracks at the end, and my heart aches for them both.
“Well, my parents will gladly take over that role.” I can feel him tense, and my body stiffens when I realize how that sounds. We aren’t in a relationship. “I mean, they would take in anyone.”
I can see him nod out of the corner of my eye. “Yeah, they seem like that type.”
I let out a relieved breath that he isn’t reading too much into my statement, and we make light small talk all the way back to his place. When we get there, Hailey is asleep, her little head cocked to the right, her headphones askew.
“She’s so cute.”
He smiles, his eyes on my face. “Yeah. She is.” He clears his throat cautiously. “Do you want to come in?”
I pry my eyes off Hailey and turn to look at Rafe, his eyes smoldering, a promise of what’s to come if I go inside. We should talk. I know we should. About so many things. He needs to know that I don’t want casual, that I want something serious.
He needs to know that I want a commitment.
But when I look into his eyes and think about today and the few months I’ve known him, the only word that comes out of my mouth is, “Yes.”
He grins and carries Hailey upstairs, putting her into bed before we go to his.
Because I can’t seem to make my brain work when I’m around Rafe.
* * *
Lying here, covered in glitter, sweat, and cum shouldn’t be as euphoric as it is, but I think that has something to do with the body next to mine. I turn my head to look at Nolan, who’s smiling wide and out of breath, but he seems to be in the same headspace as I am.
I rid myself of the condom, tossing it in the trash next to my bed before rolling onto my side to look at him. I had to work tonight at Glitter, and he stayed with Hailey until I got home. We’ve fallen easily into this friend thing.
Friends with the added bonus of sex.
As good as the sex is, the friendship is even better. We spend most weekends together and have even gone to see his parents again. Being able to give Hailey warm, inviting people has been great. Mr. and Mrs. Burke have opened their arms to her and have happily spoiled her the way she deserves.
Unlike my own parents, who not only want nothing to do with me but also have abandoned my kid.
“You look deep in thought.” Nolan’s deep voice pulls my attention to him as I stroke my fingers over his beard.
“I was thinking how good your parents are.”
“That’s weird.” He chuckles and rolls to his side to face me. “We’re naked.”
I laugh at that too and shove his shoulder. “Yeah, well . . . The nakedness made me happy, and then my mind went to all the good things lately.”
His smile turns sadder than I imagined it would by my words, but he seems to quickly bat the sadness away, moving to sit up. “Thanksgiving’s next week.”
I nod, as I watch him look around the room—probably for something to clean the cum off his stomach. I reach next to the bed, grabbing my discarded shirt and handing it to him. He cleans himself up, and I can’t help wondering what’s going through his head.
“Yeah, I talked to Aunt Jo, and she’s just as stubborn as always, not letting me bring anything.” I think back fondly about talking to my aunt yesterday on the phone.
He stands up, tugging his jeans up over his perfectly sculpted ass and buttoning them. “Sounds like my mom.”
I grab a pair of sweats and pull them on but sit back on my bed, hoping he’ll stay for a while. “I think they’d get along well.”
He pulls his t-shirt over his head but then sits next to me on the bed, leaning back against the headboard. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure they would. You should invite her over sometime.”
I smile at that, thinking about his mom and my aunt, spoiling the hell out of Hailey and telling me I’m not feeding the child enough. “Maybe.”
He turns to look at me, and I do the same as his lips meet mine. “Did you get enough for the Barbie Dream House?” he asks me softly as he pulls back, my lips missing his right away.
“I’m almost there.” I smile. “That kid is going to have a great Christmas or I’m gonna die trying.”
I can feel his smile as he lays his head on my shoulder, and I take the moment to just be here with him before he speaks again. “She’s going to have a great Christmas regardless. That kid adores you.”
“You’re one to talk.” Hailey completely looks up to her teacher and couldn’t be more thrilled when he comes over to hang out.
“She’s a good kid.”
“Yeah.”
I haven’t had a friend like this in a really long time. A person I could just sit and talk with about everything and nothing at the same time. I’ve been immersed in being a single father for so long, I hadn’t worried about making friends. But I have to admit, this is nice. Especially when we can be naked friends.
Everything is easy with Nolan in a way that nothing has ever been easy for me before. I can be who I really am with him. I can just exist in total silence around him and he seems fine with it. Not that we don’t talk. I talk to him more than anyone else, but he always allows me to be quiet, which is the greatest peace I’ve had.
We both jump when the handle on my door rattles, and I turn to look at Nolan, his eyes probably just as wide as mine. “Shit,” he whispers.
I stand up from the bed and look back at Nolan. “It’s fine.”
“Daaaadddy,” I hear Hailey whine and the door handle rattle again. “I’m thirsty.”
I try to steady my heart rate, knowing she cannot find her favorite teacher in my bed. “What are we going to do?” Nolan’s voice is quiet as he stands up. “You want me to hide in the bathroom?”
I grasp his face in my hands as he approaches me, still looking so damn worried that I smile, even if this situation isn’t exactly funny. “No. She’s tired. I’ll take her to the kitchen and you sneak out, okay?”