It was unreal.
When it was time for me to get Hailey home for bed, she cried and clung to Janine for dear life. The kid is getting attached, but I can’t blame her. So am I.
I had no idea what to do when Aunt Jo called me this morning and said she was ill. I felt helpless. And the only person I thought to go to for help was Nolan.
My heart thumps wildly in my chest as Nolan traces the ridges on my bare stomach. He got here an hour ago, a couple of hours after Hailey fell fast asleep in her bed. I extended the invite, and he jumped right on it. I’m happy he’s no longer fighting this.
That we’re just us.
“What are you thinking about?”
I press my hand over his, flattening his palm over my stomach. “Thank you for helping me today.”
His eyes meet mine, soulful and searching, which unnerves me, but I let him look. “I told you, you can call me anytime for anything.”
I can’t fight my stupid grin as I quickly roll so my naked body is on his. We’ve already cleaned up, post-sex, but as soon as we’re skin to skin again, I’m hard in an instant. “Anything?”
I raise my eyebrow, looking down at him as I brace my weight on my arms. “Anything.” He chuckles as I grind my hard cock against his awakening erection. “But my ass is sore, sooooo if you want it again, give me a little while.”
I laugh at that, easy and carefree, leaning down to kiss his full lips and enjoying having his body under mine. “I definitely want you again. And again. But this . . .” Our dicks slide together, causing the perfect amount of friction. “This isn’t too fucking shabby either.”
He reaches for the lube, squirting some in his hand before gripping both of our cocks together and stroking us toward bliss.
“Goddamn, Nolan.” He swallows my moan with his mouth.
We kiss hungerly, rutting against each other, and I stop for a moment to rest my forehead against his, watching the strong, veiny muscles of his arms pull tight as he continues to stroke us. His hips thrust forward, and his grip intensifies. “Fuck, I’m close.”
I kiss him again, moving in perfect rhythm with him. “Yes. Come with me. I need to feel you.”
It only takes a few more thrusts into his hand and against my cock for him to let go, releasing a deep, low moan into my mouth. As his cum covers my cock, I lose it too, and our cum spills between our sweaty bodies.
“Jesus.” After I catch my breath, I roll off him, one arm covering my eyes as I smile to myself. “That was so fucking good.”
He moves to my side, not bothering to clean up, and I welcome the sticky mess. “Yeah. It really was.”
I drop my arm and turn to look at him, already dreading his statement that it’s time for him to leave, but he doesn’t say it. At least not yet. He merely lays next to me in beautiful silence.
I’m not sure how much time passes before his quiet voice fills the space between us. “Tell me about Hailey’s mom.”
It’s a whispered request, and I know he’s wanted to ask it for a long time but hasn’t. I can’t help the way my body tenses.
I guess I was silent for longer than I realized because I feel his firm, soft lips press against my shoulder. “It’s okay. I shouldn’t have asked.”
“No, you can ask.” I swallow around the lump in my throat. “We should probably clean up before we have this conversation.”
He sits up on the bed, facing me. “We really don’t have to talk about her if you’re not ready, Rafe.”
For some reason, that eases my tension a little. “I want to.” I get up, moving into the bathroom and cleaning the cum off my stomach before bringing him a clean cloth to do the same. When we’re both clean, I pull on sweats, and he grabs his jeans, pulling them on over his perfect ass. When we both sit on the bed, he takes my hand, and it’s only then that I realize it’s trembling slightly.
“Was she your girlfriend?”
I sift through all my memories, trying to find the best way to explain it. “No. Heather . . . She was . . .” I look down at our intertwined hands. “She was my best friend for most of my life. Our parents were friends. We went everywhere together. We did everything together.” I feel his hand squeeze mine a little tighter, but he doesn’t say anything. Pain slices through me, thinking about her and seeing her pretty smile, so like Hailey’s. Her hair exactly like Hailey’s. “Everyone had always joked, since we were tiny—I mean, we could barely walk yet—that we’d get married someday.” I swallow hard and look at him. “And we did.”
I see the shock in his copper eyes. “You were married?”
I nod solemnly. “Yeah. Not for long.” Guilt spears through my heart, but I force myself to keep going, and I’m not even sure why. Maybe it’s because I haven’t ever talked about it before. Or maybe it’s because of Nolan, but I need to. “I didn’t tell anyone I was gay. I knew my parents pretty well by the time I figured out I was only attracted to guys, and I knew, without a doubt, they wouldn’t handle it well. So I kept it a secret.” Again, his hand tightens in mine. “I didn’t tell Heather either. Not because I thought she’d be cruel, but I wasn’t sure she’d understand. We grew up in a really small, conservative town that boasts ‘family values.’ But only one kind of family.”
I watch his Adam’s apple bob angrily in his throat. “Right.”
I feel his anger, and I don’t blame him. I feel it too. “Yeah. So anyway. I never dated. And everyone just assumed I’d end up with Heather. I didn’t correct anyone, but I hated seeing her put her life on hold for me. The secret ate away at me, Nolan.”
He wraps his arm around me, leaning his head on my shoulder while still holding my other hand. “I can’t imagine.”
“When we graduated, I thought maybe she’d go to college and meet someone else to take her mind off me, but that summer . . .” My entire body is a ball of tension, but his grasp feels comforting. “I fucked up. Badly.”
He lifts his head to look at me, and I turn to look into those brown eyes. “What happened?”
“My father had screamed at me about not making an honest girl out of Heather, about not courting her. I told him I wasn’t sure that we’d end up together, and he really let me have it. Told me people were starting to talk about his boy, and he didn’t like it.” I swallow the hot shame boiling up from that memory. The words he used. “It was ugly. But basically, there was a rumor that I was gay since I didn’t wife Heather right out of high school.”
“That’s fucking crazy.”
That brings a small smile to my lips. “That’s small town, backward thinking. But . . . Heather wanted to cheer me up. She knew how my dad was, and even though I didn’t tell her why we got into it, she didn’t care. We drove out to one of our favorite places—this old pond out in the middle of nowhere—and laid a blanket out.” His body tenses now, and I force myself to go on. “We were drinking a bottle of whiskey she’d brought with us and talking about all our hopes and dreams. Hers was to marry me and buy a house. Have babies.”
“You were eighteen.” He says it like it’s crazy. And I know it is, but I also know that was what was expected in our small town. Some kids went to college, but most settled down fast. Got jobs, got married, and had that kind of simple life that’s anything but. I know it works for some. My parents were a happy couple last time I saw them, but it wasn’t for me.