“Why is it that all the assholes are also the most drop-dead gorgeous?” She slaps her mouth at the words she’s just used “Oh, fuck, Kenz, I didn’t mean…”
I wave her off. “Solie, it’s a figure of speech. Just… go on. Ask your questions because I’m sure there are many.”
She taps her chin. “Are you close to River in the house? Is the mansion as nice inside as it is outside? Does he have servants? Will he bring his flavor of the night home? Oh, fuck, even though he’s a horse’s ass, I’d for sure be his flavor of the day.”
I wad up a napkin and toss it at her head. Solie, like me, is a virgin, and Isaiah would ruin her. But I have a feeling he ruins many people.
“River is across the hall from me. We have practically half of the upstairs to ourselves. The mansion is cold and void of life. Isaiah has a maid, a cook, and a butler. I’m sure there’s more, but they are all I’ve met. He’s told me there will be specific rules to follow, like no more short skirts, but then I showed up for breakfast this morning in the shortest one I own, just to spite the asshole.”
She’s now taken over my chicken sandwich but pops her head toward me, covering her mouth again as she hurries to finish her food.
“What? Your hot and sexy shithead brother stuck up for you? What the hell is going on in this world?”
She’s not the only one thinking this. “Yeah, but there’s more. Riv and I are grieving together. He told me it was him and me now. He wants us to be a part of each other’s life. I don’t know if it was just the grief, but fuck, I feel so alone.”
I close my eyes, willing myself to stop crying before it starts. Solie’s hand connects with my own. “You’re always welcome at my house. With Sanora in college, there’s an extra room. My parents would love to have you.”
If this was a couple of weeks ago, I would have jumped at the offer. But now, I have to give River a chance to prove himself, to see if we can be more than enemies who share the same name.
“Thanks, Solie, I may take you up on the offer, but for now, I have to see what I can do to hold on to the little bit of family I have left.”
The bell rings, but I have a free period, and I stay in the lunchroom while Solie scurries off to class. The book is back in front of my eyes when a swoosh of air distracts me from the next paragraph. I flip my eyesight over the top of the book’s spine and am shocked to see my stepbrother sitting in front of me.
“You left early this morning. I wasn’t able to check in on you.” It’s a matter-of-fact statement as he finishes the fries Solie hadn’t.
“Yeah, well, Isaiah was his charming self as normal. You know, just when I think the man has a heart, it’s like he can’t show it.” And why is he sexier when he’s an asshole? “Anyway, he was kind with his words about Tanya’s Christmas stuff I assumed Mom put up. But come to find out, it was Dad, trying to protect Mom from the fact that he loved Tanya as much as he loved Mom.”
There’s a fruit salad Solie hadn’t touched, and River begins with the grapes, picking them out.
“Why the fuck do they have to ruin everything with grapes? Nasty, slimy fuckers.”
How can he eat? I know he’s going through his own hell right now, but it’s certainly not affecting his appetite. “So, what did the fucker say after he was kind to you?”
“He reminded me he was the one in control and in charge. He left me standing in all of Mom’s Christmas stuff as he made his point.”
Crimson crawls onto his face, and he fists his hands as though he’s about to fight the grapes he hates so much, but it’s not the grapes he hates at the moment.
“River, you have decided you want to be an actual brother to me for what, all of a couple weeks? It’s hard to believe you want me in your life, and it’s even harder to trust it, as everything I’ve known has been yanked from me like a terrible magic act and all the shit on the table is now a fucking mess on the floor. It’s my life now. I have no one.”
I have Tanya’s parents. They love me and would take me in a heartbeat. They’d even take River in the bunch if I asked them to. But they had to move away from all the memories of Tanya when she died. With my grandpa’s pacemaker, they couldn’t make it to the funeral, but they’ve asked me to pack up everything and take the first flight to Nebraska. But, even though he had hated me as of a couple weeks ago, I can’t leave River. There’s a hope we could be more to one another, a real family. I’m now afraid to hope because the pain very well may destroy me.
“Kenzie, it’s hard to say trust me when I’ve done nothing to build your trust. Name it. Tell me what I can do?”
It’s hard to smile. It’s hard to recognize any happiness within me. There’s something, though, I know it will hurt like hell, but we have to do it. I’d not thought about it until now, but I’ll use this as a way where we can possibly heal one another.
“Are you serious?” I ask, and my eyes stay locked on the same ones of our mother’s. “Because I’m almost positive you’ll kick yourself when you find out what it is.”
“I mean it, Kenz. Tell me what I have to do to show you I’m in. I want us to be more than mere strangers. I took for granted the family I had. I’m not taking you for granted one more fucking second so tell me, and I’ll be there.”
Oh, he’s going to hate every moment of it. It’ll put a smile on my face at the idea.
“Okay, then join me tonight with the fuck nugget who we happen to be living with as we decorate the house for Christmas. Both Mom and Tanya loved the holiday so much. It’s one way, though it’ll hurt like hell, to feel a piece of both of them, and Dad, too.”
His countenance falls and white washes over his face. “Seriously, do we have to include Isaiah in it, too?” His whine is borderline sexy, and I have to remind my ignored woman bits that this man in front of me is my brother at the end of the day.
“As much of an ass as he is, he’s also grieving. Isaiah was a brother to Dad, he adored Mom, and truth be told, I think he may have been in love with Tanya but bowed out because of the physical connection Dad and Tanya shared.”
His eyes close as he takes in what I’d say is a calming breath. “Can’t I just buy you a diamond necklace or take you on a fancy trip? Why does it have to be him, with us?”
I give him a shrug of my shoulders. “Because as much as I hate to admit it, I think it’ll be the three of us who will heal our broken hearts.”
Chapter 12
River
Of all the things she could’ve asked of me—I blindly agreed to it before knowing the consequence. Every time her smile makes its way onto her face, she’s allowing me to see her in a completely different light. I crave her near my body, and the idea of Isaiah’s body in the same room as mine has my mind muddled, especially after he’d confessed his true feelings a couple weeks ago.
I catch a brief glance of Kenzie starting toward her AP English class, with Solie, the only person she talks to. Solie must say something specific, causing the most enormous grin to crawl onto Kenzie’s face, and it’s stunning. Kenzie is all parts of serious, ninety percent of the time. Dad was like that, but there’d been a warmth with him. Maybe there wasn’t that warmth with me since I treated her like an alien from a different planet.